Can anyone share their tips/advice? I say “kill myself” a thousand times a day both in my head and out loud. Sometimes it gives me anxiety and sometimes it doesn’t. I also say “Im not going to kill myself” or “I’m gonna kill myself” I’m really good at reframing my thoughts but that’s probably not the best thing to do. Please help!
Try accepting the thoughts. “Maybe I will or maybe not” and se show you feel. It may feel uncomfy at first but agreeing with the thought kills the need for excessive reassurance cause reassurance is just a temporary relief.
I am the same way. I do an affirmation meditation using the insight timer app every morning trying to subconsciously ingrain some more positive thoughts… it does help over time. I’m having a harder time today with the intrusive perpetual suicide thought, so I tried reminding myself to be present and that kind of helped. Sorry if this isn’t helpful, I just am going through the same thing.
@crying Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well. Is the affirmation meditation in the insight timer app? We will get through this and I believe in you
@Zach34!! Yes! here is a link to one I did this morning! https://insig.ht/zCPqarGi7Ib they have so many to choose from for free. I believe in us too! One step at a time!
ERP is the most effective treatment for all of OCD. If you aren’t in therapy perhaps look into methods of ERP for that subtype.
Hey everyone. I have been struggling with this theme this week. I had a panic attack at the beginning of the week and I got hit with a bunch of suicide intrusive thoughts. That is the last thing on earth I want to do and it hurts me because my mind makes me believe I want to. I get in a really sad dark alone place and sometimes I think about it but also I feel like it is intrusive because I have told myself no matter how bad it gets, no matter how shitty it feels I will not do anything to take my own life. It brings me so much sadness and guilt when I think about those kinds of things. It’s been hard because I have been trying to mindfully redirect and stay in the present moment but the thoughts come back and it makes it so hard to move on or when I’m in a happy moment that feels good my intrusive thoughts just come flooding back. I have tried to accept that those thoughts are there and I need to do things towards my goals and values but it’s been so difficult to accept this feeling and notice those thoughts when they are so against everything I love and it’s so hard when it’s one of my biggest fears. I cry and cry because I’m just so scared of those thoughts and it makes me think I actually want to do it. Anyway has anyone else experienced this? I feel so guilty and sometimes get thoughts that this feeling will never go away even thought I know for a fact I can get past it. Any advice? Or does anyone relate?
I am typing as I sit on the couch after a mental breakdown due to the frustration and fear I have with my Suicidal OCD intrusive thoughts. I know so much about why this is happening from therapy, research, and self help books that I feel like knowing this much about my condition is almost making it harder to recover. It’s like I feel like since I logically understand my problem, why can’t I change my response to it? I know logically that these thoughts are stuck in a loop because I have assigned meaning to them and am so scared of the concept of harming myself, yet ERP/CBT hasn’t yet helped much with my ability to tolerate the anxiety. I have moments where I feel good but the sense of impending doom and feeling like I “am bound to hurt myself” always comes back. At least for the last 2-3 months since this theme and OCD flare started. I don’t have any physical compulsions that me or my therapist have been able to identify except *maybe* researching too much. But other than that, my compulsions are all mental. However, I can’t pinpoint what exactly they are. It’s also important to note that I don’t avoid anything. I still use knives when I need to, I don’t hide them like others with this theme do. Yes they can trigger anxiety but I don’t actively avoid them or other items that trigger/have potential to harm me. When I do audio exposures (listening to my voice saying I am going to hurt myself), I hold a knife to my wrist to intensify the ERP, per my therapists request… and still the same or similar level of fear behind suicidal and harm OCD thoughts is there. Has anyone dealt with this and can help provide some insight as to what helped you? Anything is helpful here except negativity.
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