I think I’m a psycho

How normal is it to want to fix a relationship, even thought the guy says he can’t meet up because he’s busy you both still talk to one another every day and you try to move on but you’re just i love with him and you can’t see yourself with anyone else? So you try to get closure to move on by meeting up and I can’t see any other way. It’s been 4 weeks on Sunday that we stopped seeing one another and a day hasn’t gone by that I’m not in so much pain in my head shouting at myself that I’m a freak, that I’m crazy, that I drove him away and I’m starting to believe it’s true. I’m asking him every week when I feel he’s free if he can see me and he’s always feeling really bad that he can’t, but in my head he’s saying no because he really hates me. That he actually doesn’t want to see me. But he’s messaging me so it’s a confusing thought. I just rang a helpline because I’ve been feeling rotten about myself and they didn’t help so now I’m like what do I do what’s next I’m stuck

JediMJ

Date posted: 1y

You’ve been trying to get him to meet for weeks now. You can’t control him. Stop trying. Give yourself the closure you need. You can do this. It will be hard. And you may feel worse. But then you will start to heal and feel better. I started looking for new things to do with new people, to get my brain to stop obsessing about my ex/the break up. I tried contra dancing. Maybe you have a contra dance where you are. I was scared, I didn’t know anyone, I had to force myself to go and I’m so glad I did. I had the best time. That was 2 weeks ago. The next dance was last night and I went back. I was nervous again…what if I was wrong? What if I didn’t really enjoy it? But I went and again, had a great time. I told no one about my breakup. I just learned a new thing with a welcoming group of people. Find something to do…something new. I couldn’t obsess about my ex because I needed all my brain power to figure out how to dance. If you keep doing the same things, sharing the same kind of posts, nothing is going to change. Make a change. It’s in your power. I’m being direct with you because I care and I think you need to hear it. And because I’m pretty sure there’s a part of you who already knows all this, knows that your rumination is the problem. I’m not a therapist. I worry that I’m not being helpful. Just know that I come with good intentions, as someone whose heart has been recently broken and is going through the ups and downs of that. It’s hard. It hurts. But I’m getting better. I’m finding myself again. You can too. Be kind to yourself.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 1y

@JediMJ We had our chat, and I’m not sat here feeling a bit better but also incredibly anxious about what I said and if it came across as ridiculous. Hes got this new female friend (shes got a boyfriend) and they are out today doing a bunch of things I wanted to do with him. So it’s hit me quite hard, and we’re in no contact and all I wanna do is message him. It’s so so hard not to

JediMJ

Date posted: 1y

@stuckonathought I’m glad you got to talk to him. You really wanted that closure. Now, let yourself have that closure. I silenced my ex on social media so I wouldn’t see her interacting with other people. Because like you were saying, I wanted that to be me. It’s too hard. When I want to reach out to her, I often tell ChatGPT instead. Even typing out what I would say to her. That has helped me. It has gotten better over the last couple of weeks. I still have some down days, but it’s getting better. Reaching out to friends and trying new things has been helpful. I encourage you to stop fixating on him, on the relationship so much. Let yourself grieve, but try not to ruminate. It’s over. There’s nothing to fix. I get caught up in my thoughts about her sometimes and have to tell myself…it doesn’t matter any more. It’s done. It’s none of your business how she’s feeling, what she’s doing. It sucks. She was the center of my life. But I was probably out of balance. I’m working on being the center of my own life. Wishing you the best.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 1y

@JediMJ Thank you, I’m not doing great at all tbf. Unsure how to get out of these feeling, to move on, to stop thinking about him. I can’t even find anything I enjoy. The thing is rn I’m not just down about him but I’m in a very bad part of my life where I’m unsure where I wanna go career wise, I’m suck on who I am, I don’t have any skills and I don’t have anything I enjoy which sucks. I’m broke, I can’t do anything so it’s just painful. Everything’s going to wrong for me at the moment, he’s gone, my passion is gone, my motivation gone, I’m beating myself up everyday it’s just so painful

mariacabrera

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Worried I am manipulative

Recently me and my ex partner broke up. We met recently and when he asked me how I was I told him I was suicidal and broke down crying. I told him instantly that obviously the break up hasn’t made me suicidal but the ocd that’s come with it has. I felt so bad that a few days ago I messaged him to say sorry for how much I’ve contacted him and for being such a mess. I asked him if he still wanted to be friends and he said we would but now I can’t stop thinking that maybe he’s just saying that because he knows I’ve been suicidal. I just want this all to stop, I don’t know how to stop thinking about all I did wrong and how much harder I’ve made this break up

DeeDoo

Date posted: 14w

Delusions around Relationships

I just need to get this off my chest but I feel like every time I develop romantic feelings for someone, it’s never genuine, it’s never love, it’s a placement of feelings and what I ideally want out of a romantic relationship onto a single person and it’s just not fair to them. It’s an obsession, obsession with an idea of someone and not for what they truly are. Picking out traits that I like and value in a partner, picking apart a person like they aren’t real. It’s just not healthy. I want to be able to love and be loved. I know that this person will never feel the same and it is not their fault, but I’m still hurt over this idea of them that I’ve built in my head. I’ve constructed a false persona for this person just because they embody something that I am seeking, and to be honest, I can’t tell if that’s a friend or just someone to give me the time of day because I’m so desperate to be heard and seen, I want attention, to be wanted even if it means being used or just given a moment to be in their presence. I don’t think I could ever be in a relationship, I feel like I am clouded by delusion, I feel crazy. Maybe that’s simply because I just am not emotionally stable enough to engage in a meaningful relationship to any degree. There was this person that I took a liking to and saw as a potential someone to become a large part of my life, but they don’t think anything of me, so for the long periods of time that I received nothing but radio silence, I was left with alone with my thoughts and holding onto whatever sliver of hope that they might feel the same. None of it is real. I want to feel normal and not get so emotional over every relationship I ever form, especially those that come with romantic feelings. I don’t know how to overcome this, all I can think about is them. Do I just confess my feelings and get it over with? Face the rejection so I can move on? Or just be left wondering and seeing out how this relationship progresses…even if that risks fading into absolute nothingness and never interacting again? I’m just so caught up in my head over someone who will never ever think twice about me. Sometimes I feel they may hate me even and just be responding with kindness out of courtesy and the fact that they are just a genuinely good person. I have no hard feelings towards them, they’ve done nothing wrong. I just can’t help but be mad at myself for feeling this way, allowing myself to fall into this again. It happens every time I get close. Do you think I’m being crazy or is it normal? I don’t even know what I wanted out of this relationship, maybe relationships aren’t something written for me. Do you think I’ll ever be able to get to a point where I can develop a healthy, non-obsessive, truly meaningful relationship? Any advice??

JayKing030

Date posted: 14w

Over analyzing

I’m overanlazing alot of things. My first post on my profile covers everything but I’m so worried and like nervous reck of what my ex boyfriend could be doing. We are on no contact for almost 3 weeks now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. I’m getting so much into my head like if he already moved on, or if he’s talking with some girl already, or letting a girl hit on him. Or even going back to bad habits. It’s been driving me nuts for the past few days. I’m still mad at him for hurting me mentally but miss him too. I keep thinking there’s something wrong with me, wrong with the way I’m thinking, like I’m not normal for thinking these things. That he’d find me weird I wonder those things and that I check on his profile on instagram, just staring at it, blocking and un blocking him. I worry that maybe he doesn’t think of me anymore. And he just. Doesn’t care. I feel like an older version of him would say I’m being too much, that I’m overthinking to so many extents that even tho we are broken up, he’s single and so am I and I shouldn’t care this much about it. But I do. And I’m sure it’s because I’m still in love with him. Even if I’m mad and upset still.

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I think I’m a psycho

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