Ugh did SOCD ERP watching gay porn and actually got off! Initially it has thrown me through a spiral but without reassuring myself, I realize porn is porn. Slowing coming down from a bad spiral and would just love some words of encouragement, not reassurance.
Keep it up your putting yourself in tough situations and that’s ERP
Went through this yesterday. My depression and ocd was maxxing out, and i go to get off and i get hijacked and go on an hour long compulsive dig for worse and worse porn. I was trembling and wanting to cry the whole time. Its very brave of you for sharing. Ill try to manage the compassion youve shown for yourself.
Thanks. It’s been an extremely hard day. Just trying to get through these panic attacks and eventually fall asleep. It felt good to look at photos from the last 20-30 days to remind myself that before this spike, I was happy again.
In spite of the SOCD, Pocd and pure O that I was still going through but not like this..this is a spiral and not manageable.
If this was from an actual doctor, I’d find another one. If this was something you did yourself, while admirable that you are willing to go to such extreme lengths to confront your fear, I would refrain from doing it again. Exposure/response is supposed to be for normal day-to-day. Don’t go looking for or literally at trouble. Don’t question your sexuality, there’s an entire line of psychosis from bad sexual encounters, don’t go developing one yourself.
I wish I got this advice before I actually went through with it. All I can do now is just look/move forward and remind myself porn is porn, any sexual stimulation will cause this to happen. That and Im taking a break from porn for a while.
And what I got off to once doesn’t determine my sexual identity/preference
Honestly even if it does it more than once, as in my case. Most people dont experience it, but for people who watch a lot of porn and have a lot of 'post nut clarity' moments, OCD will use that against you to look for proof, and it feels extremely incriminating.
Yup that’s true. Didn’t mean to over generalize the “one time”
Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!
i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support
I’ll list some key things with my main subtype, and I hope that I can get some erp advice, but it’s okay if not, I know nobody is my therapist..! 1. I have this thing where when I feel false attraction about a k!d, I will be immediately convinced and say “that means I am?” “I am attracted” “I feel attracted?” “He’s attractive” not to be weird but I panic and say these because I don’t want them, and I feel like I agree with it, this makes me feel like a bad person when I say them (sometimes I can’t help it when I get really stressed) what can I do for this to be better? 2. My brain will give me an intrusive question, asking if I’d do this,this or that, and I feel like agreeing or saying yes to this, sometimes I will hear a yes and I’ll freak out 3. When I get triggered by a photo, I have to keep checking and checking (this will always last forever) till I’m sure that I think the photo is cute or adorable and not in any way that I feel false attraction Whenever I feel convinced, I feel bad that I feel convinced and it’ll say “well if you were a good person, why do you allow yourself to get convinced even if you know you aren’t this”
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