How to know if a thought is an instrusive thought

Even though I know that an instrusive thought can be a thought that has become a compulsion and disturbs us, I cant just tell this to myself and move on. What I mean by move on is that I didn't say that just think that and forget about it, I mean like proces cuz its not easy. I can see the perspective of others when I read on this app and can tell that its ocd, but I cabt just tell myself and say that its an instrusive thought about this one thing. Or I can, but I also cant I cant explain it. For instance, Im telling myself it is but when it comes to writing it down here, it feels wrong because what if the thought is real. But if it hasnt still went away, it probably isnt a part of me right?. It might be ROCD. So I can try to tell about the thought without mentioning it because it feels like mentioning it will make things worse. from the moment I had it I have had this guilt feeling because I know Id never think that but it just came and makes me feel guilty even though its a thought that is the opposite of what Ive always thought, it always disturbs me and I feel guilty and like a betrayer for thinking such thing. Since I guess that I dont trust my thoughts I cant really help myself. Its not a severe thought right now but it used to be worse but it never went away. I feel like Ill always feel guilty about it my whole life and will never get over it. Even right now my mind is telling me not to write about it here because its just not good for me to not because it isnt in reality. And right now my mind is telling me that I cannot be sure that Im actually telling the right stuff, maybe Im just saying these to be saying it and it keeps going on. I always talk to an AI because I go to my psychiatrist once in a month and I left therapy. I just need reassurance...

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Hi there mate, I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this!!! I am gonna try help you out and hopefully make things seem clearer to you 😎 Thoughts are NOT facts or predictions about the future! A thought is JUST a thought, it is literally a stream of words in your mind. The majority of the time, most thoughts that are in our mind are “automatic”. We have NO control over the majority of thoughts that pass through our mind! Now just to be clear, this does not mean to say we cannot think certain thoughts on our own accord (e.g. hmmm should I go to Spain or Dubai for my next holiday?” But the matter of the fact is that we have NO control over these thoughts! You can focus your attention onto certain thoughts but you CANNOT make them go away! The other helpful thing to know is that the guilt and disturbing feelings you are having are NOT a bad thing! They are just feelings! Thoughts and feelings are NOT facts! Also, as your thoughts are disturbing you and making you feel uncomfortable and guilty, shows that these thoughts are the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of your values, beliefs, wishes etc! OCD is described as being ego-dystonic which means that it GOES AGAINST your values, wishes, intentions, and YOU as a person! So the thoughts you do not want to have tend to come back stronger and more frequently if you are trying to push them away, fight with them, argue with them, because you are giving them undeserved attention and power when in reality, they mean absolutely NOTHING! My best advice to you is to sign up with NOCD and get a 15 min free consultation with an ERP specialist and you will get a much better understanding of what’s going on in your mind and how OCD is lying to you all the time!

Someome_se

Date posted: 1y

Thank you so much! What an amazing message. 😄 Everything is so clear and Im feeling better about myself. Ill always remember what you said Im in another country but I might try and see if the ERP on this app works Thank you so much again!

Someome_se

Date posted: 1y

Really appreciated mate 😎

Pumpkinpie68

Date posted: 1y

I completely understand. I am going through the same exact thing. What makes me feel better is thinking that other people are going through the same thing but I just feel like a terrible person.

Someome_se

Date posted: 1y

Im so sorry to hear that. If youre comfortable you can share the thought you're struggling with, Id love to be a help

Someome_se

Date posted: 1y

You feel the same so you probably can't share too. Lets keep our hopes high. You're not alone

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

No worries at all bro! Hope you manage to get some relief from ERP bro! Even if you are in another country, you can still go for ERP with NOCD. I am from London and I have a therapist from Florida, it has honestly been a huge blessing for me that I found NOCD 😎

Someome_se

Date posted: 1y

Thats awesome! Im so happy that you're getting the help you need! I hope we will all recover from this. I'll try bro! 😎

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

rosie_rosie

Date posted: 17w

So I’m really scared that I won’t be able to differentiate my thoughts, real thoughts, to the intrusive ones.

So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 14w

I feel lost

I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost

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How to know if a thought is an instrusive thought

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