Dating and confessing vs actual venting

Hello. I've been struggling with OCD for a very long time and about 6 years ago I got divorced after being married for a very long time and I often feel like I am very alone because I don't have anyone to talk to about this like I used to be able to talk to my ex-husband about it. I always feel very lonely now and find it particularly hard whatever my anxiety gets very high and sometimes you just really crave a hug from the right person. I've wondered if I used that as a compulsion in my marriage to know that everything would be okay. But I also know that that's just part of having a partner is that sometimes you just need that and I don't have that anymore. I am 43 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone but sometimes I'm scared that if I do find someone else I will latch on to them and use them to seek reassurance that everything will be okay. I hate being alone how do you all navigate dating and telling someone about your OCD and themes?

Username: ListenToTheWindListenToTheWind

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 33w ago

For someone to talk to: 1. This group is here 2. You can use your therapist 3. You can join and IOCDF or NOCD support group. For hugs, yes, get those from people. Or pets! But I would avoid disclosing the content of your thoughts and just say things like ‘I’m having a hard day’ ‘I’m overwhelmed’ ‘I’d love a hug’ Less messy to not mix anyone into the anxious thinking. Be kind to yourself! And whether or not OCD influenced your last relationship or will influence your next one - ‘who knows’ or ‘maybe’ are okay responses. But don’t compulsively figure it out. I’m with you on the lonliness! Stay active in your community. Join a non OCD social group (like hiking, games, dancing…) Lots of opportunities to feel better, get connected and get your needs met without making your OCD worse

Username: stoprunningstoprunning

Date posted: 33w ago

Thanks just need needed to vent I guess 🙂

Username: HeartMamaHeartMama

Date posted: 33w ago

Everyone likes a hug to help them through hard times, I think that is a type of connection everyone craves. Human connection and comforting touch calms our heart and mind in a different way than a compulsion. I think it's ocd just being ocd to make you wonder if that kind of connection is ocd, it steals joy, and a hug brings joy and emotional support. I hope you find someone that accepts you for who are and friends who bring you joy and connection in the meantime.

Username: Siiri

Date posted: 5y ago

How did you tell your partner about your ocd? I’ve never been in a relationship but I am scared to death just thinking about having to tell a future boyfriend about my ocd. I feel weird and alone and like no one will ever want to be with me. Especially if they find out about my mental illness. I’m 23 now and feel like I will be alone forever.

Username: Evelyn4416

Date posted: 4y ago

At what point in dating do you let your (potential) partner know that you have OCD? I’d like to start dating this year but sometimes I feel like I need to be in a better place to do that? Also I feel like if I actually get into a relationship and I don’t say anything about it that I’m hiding some dark secret. Any thoughts/experiences?

Username: JennyJ

Date posted: 3y ago

Hello dear friends. I hadn't been on this app for a while, I've been getting by. Today I just need to vent and to feel validated and understood. I have OCD, I consider myself in permanent recovery. It is an everyday job. I am ina relationship with a wonderful guy. I deeply love and care about him, but he doesn't understand anything about OCD. I've explained it to him a million times. I've directed him to online resources. I've talked him through what to do to help me get out of a loop without giving me reassurance. And yet, he never knows what to say or do when an episode appears. It is tiring to pull myself out of the loop and then having yo explain to him what just happened to me, over and over again. I think, in general, he lacks empathy for other people's feelings, but, when it comes to me, I can see that he tries but achieves nothing. I think I don't have ROCD, I have diverse thoughts. But the last few weeks this thought got into my mind: what if he has met someone else and they are texting each other and flirting and he's gonna leave me? (He left his girl to start a new relationship with me). And he are apart due to the covid-19 epidemic, so we didn't see each other almost at all during last year. Of course, I had been able to keep this particular thought to myself, buy yesterday, it just came out of my mind after him not picking up the phone. He was in shock. He reacted defensively (which I completely understand), replied that he had nothing to explain to me as to why he couldn't answer the phone when I called him and that we was surprised that I asked him such a thing (if the reason why he didn't answer me was that he was talking to someone else). I knew it was just an OCD thought of mine, but I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. Of course, I apologized to him and had to explain it had been an OCD thought. He was supporting and understanding and told me everything was ok and to forget about it. This morning I feel sad that he couldn't recognize this for what it was despite all the explaining I have done. I have dealt with my ocd on my own, despite being in a relationship. I just needed to vent and would like to read your thoughts about this whole thing. Thank you in advance for reading and replying.

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Dating and confessing vs actual venting

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