Rough Time - ROCD and Religious OCD

Hello. My wedding is fast approaching, and my OCD has ramped up. It’s wild how sometimes OCD can really make you feel cut off from yourself, and how you have to put your relationship to your feelings in a difference context. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet. I have noticed that my intrusive thoughts/worries/feelings seem to focus on two major fears, attraction and whether God wants us to marry, and when one of those seems reassured enough to experience some more excitement and joy, the other pipes up. I’m still doing all the things I need to do to get ready for the wedding, and I’m communicating with my fiancé every day. I’m not avoiding those things. I know I care deeply about him. It’s just hard not to put meaning into some of the things I feel, and I end up being in just this resigned state some days, wondering if I will ever feel truly connected with my emotions and able to trust how I feel again someday, or not. I’m posting in case someone else can relate. That numb feeling is the worst; when you feel hollow. And then your OCD asks you how long you’ve felt that way, and downplays anything else you may have felt. I really do want to be in a different, more positive mindset in this time of wedding preparation. The stakes of my fears seem so high. And yet, I know I’m not turning around. I just…want to feel more prepared emotionally.

Username: Honeyshark Honeyshark

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w ago

Yeah that hollow and numb feeling is the worst. You’ve got to sit with those feelings and thoughts cuz they’re OCD - if you reassure yourself, it’s feeding the OCD. Keep showing up in way that you want to be not how OCD wants you to be.

Username: ListenToTheWindListenToTheWind

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w ago

I don’t know if this reframe helps but even non OCD peeps feel this way around their wedding.

Username: MichelleVMichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w ago

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I hope the day is beautiful and you enjoy celebrating your love. You are doing the right things by following your values, communicating with your fiancé, and continuing to prepare for your wedding. This is HUGE, and I hope you continue to recognize how you’re choosing yourself in doing those things. It is really hard when you’re doing what’s best for you, but your OCD hangs around. But that’s the nature of this disorder-when you start to minimize its effects, it comes back up. This happens to all of us, and especially around big or stressful occasions. Would it help you to write down what you’re excited for, or verbalize it (even if you say it out loud to yourself)? Are you excited for your wedding outfit, seeing a guest, meeting your spouse at the aisle, the food? What are all the small things you’re looking forward to? Keep your focus on your values, and the OCD will quiet down.

Username: Ambs KAmbs K

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w ago

I will also note this is not the first time I’ve gone through this. I had a similar experience with an ex I dated for 4 1/2 years, and we had been planning to get married as well. Looking back I can truly and confidently say that wasn’t the right relationship for me, but OCD still had a large part to play and latched onto it deeply.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Ocd around the thought of getting married

This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.

Username: Chy

Date posted: 1y ago

Marriage & ROCD as a Christian

Hey friends. I’m kind of experiencing a spike today. Everything my husband says or does to love me makes me feel sick. I’m avoiding him and just dreading pursuing quality time. How do you choose through this and these strong feelings and urges? It sucks. Has anyone seen the other side with more confidence?

Relationship OCD

Username: swtchief

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD and Engagement

Discovering and struggling with my ROCD during my engagement has been the worst time of my life. Worrying incessantly about my fiancé and our future has made me miserable and I’ve become quite hopeless. I also feel so much pressure for everything to be perfect and to make the absolute most of my wedding/honeymoon/etc whatever it is that it’s debilitating. It has been causing a lot of passive suicidal thoughts not wanting to suffer this anymore.

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Rough Time - ROCD and Religious OCD

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