- Date posted
- 1y
Having distressing confusing thoughts..
So I’m on insta and I see this young girl literally doing like a group Zumba type excercise and I think omg she’s fine the way she is she’s just a kid and she was so adorable but then it was showing her progress on her weight loss bc she was chubbier but there’s nun wrong with that, but then as she kept on losing weight I was thinking oh wow she looks good but then I had these feelings and I started to pay attention to like how her body was changing and it was showing her doing the exercise so I was like noticing certain movements and then my mind just kept on thinking “oh well she has a nice body” but it’s just ugh like I feel like I thought that and ik I did bc I was aware? And like idk I read on an pocd info thing that the ppl who have pocd have noticed certain movements and body parts of kids so when I read that I was relieved bc I thought i was like a weirdo but then after some time of reading that it feels like I’m thinking it’s okay and it’s just ocd thing where now I’m getting scared bc I’m not feeling anxious or anything and it feel like I’m just used to it so the feelings feel real or like normal like this is me now and ugh I hate it, bc I was noticing her like body bc of the progress but I just had troucvke with the feelings I felt :/ bc I was thinking omg she’s has such an adorable face like she didn’t need to do those workouts to be skinny but then she got skinny and I started noticing her body more :/ and I feel like I’m becoming a p :( and that I’m doomed and that I’m gonna do something one day which i don’t want to happen but what if I suddenly change and I do it?? :( It’s been a while since I Posted on her but yeah 🥲