Any advice? Schizophrenic OCD

Hi everyone! This is me writing this while having an intense OCD attack and seriously I don’t know how to handle it. At this point I cry almost every day, I’ve lost my appetite, and I don’t know what to do anymore. This summer I’ve seen a movie where one of the characters had schizophrenia and did what my intrusive thoughts were about, which is harming others. I panicked immediately and did what I wish I didn’t, but I didn’t know back then it was a compulsion: I googled the symptoms. I felt relief at first, but then I started asking myself what if I have those symptoms? What if my thoughts will become voices and I’ll believe them? (This is still one of my biggest fears) Ever since then it’s a never ending cycle, everything I see and hear I question if it’s real or only me hearing/seeing it. I overanalyse my body sensations like when my ears ring, or I feel a tightness around my head etc. I went to see a therapist to start treatment, and he told me I have nothing to worry about, cause it’s unlikely I’ll develop it. I felt at ease, and for a few weeks I felt so much better, cause that talk with the therapist went well and I finally got the diagnosis which is OCD. But then, I was scrolling on Instagram, and I saw a video and ever since then it’s getting bad again. It gotten so bad that my mind “plays” random phrases/music/words in my head, and it’s sometimes in my internal voice, sometimes it’s in others’ and it’s so scary cause I’m just going on with my day and they’re just there. Also for example I hear my mom cleaning the dishes and as she puts them away they make a sound and I hear a word in it, but it makes no sense yet I panic over it cause it was a word? I feel like I don’t even have own thoughts anymore, other than those and the ‘What if this means…?’ thoughts which cause me so much anxiety I feel like I’ll explode. The reason I’m writing this is that maybe someone who went through the same thing can help me, and give me some tips how to stop ruminating and mentally+physically checking (my emotions, my facial expressions, body sensations etc.)? I’m currently going to a group therapy which is seem to help, but I feel like I need to see a therapist alone where she/he can help me with my exact problem? Maybe it’s seeking reassurance and that’s a compulsion cause what if this isn’t OCD but still I don’t know what to do. Thank you!

I’ve been diagnosed with ocd. I first started off with harm ocd.when I got over it, it started switching into new themes. Every week I’d have to deal with a new thought/fear. And now i feel like im stuck again! Im not sure what type of ocd im going through right now. But im scared of hallucinating. Im scared of hearing things that aren’t there. So that caused me to be hyper aware of every sound I hear. And I now focus on white noises so much ( like AC, fridge, water pipes, the tv when it’s far away etc.) and I start to question my sister: can you hear that ? Because I’m super scared the I’m hallucinating. But usually she’ll answer with yes she can hear it. But I’ve been struggling with something else too. I sleep with the AC on and I’ve been doing for years. But during the past month that caused me so much stress and anxiety. Because I feel like whenever the AC is on I hear other things (not people talk or words or specific things) just unclear sounds. And I’m not sure if that’s in my head or it’s actually there but because the AC sound loud I can’t recognize the other sounds im hearing. And I get so anxious when I try to sleep because everything is so quiet and it’s just me and the AC on. So I feel like everything is loud. And I don’t know if the unclear sounds are in my head or real. And yesterday when I tried to sleep a police car went by and the siren of it was loud too. I focused on the sound. And questioned if it’s real or not. Then I started hearing the siren non stop for 3 minutes probably. Even though I’m sure the police car went by. So I was scared and terrified that I was hallucinating. And now I’m just scared that what if I’m not hyper aware ocd. What if I’m schizophrenic. What if I’m going crazy. I’m so scared. And I’m worrying that this will happen again if I go to sleep tonight. Someone help me please and give me advice!

I really think I've developed schizophrenia at the age of 56 after 20 years of harm OCD. I'm so worried and the more I think of it, the worse it gets. I'm so scared. Can anyone relate? I need to get the courage to see a psychiatrist.