How do I forgive myself? Last night I spent 3 hours searching online how Jesus is true or not. I finally gave in to compulsion big time, and even then I feel I need to do more. Cause I stopped searching cause I felt so tired. How can I go back to before? I felt I lost my progress that I have been working on for the past 2 1/2 years. I’m in despair right now.
One thing that helped me stop researching faith was to choose a side & live my values that way. The question was “Is God real?” To “Do I want God to be real?” The answer for me is yes! So with faith, I’m choosing to be Christian even though pieces of me still wonder if He’s real.
You know thats tough being in that position but we know that history is real and there are real accounts for Jesus being here on earth and resurrecting, we have the opportunity to now live in Faith and that is were we grow to not needing sight to lead us but just faith. For me i know he’s real because I’ve seen him in so many aspects of my life where i put things in his hands and he takes care of them. It continues to happen even when i feel i fail him. Thats the beauty of it i guess his love is a gift we cant earn and there no way we can win our way to heaven. That’s something i struggle with perfecting myself so i can get to heaven and but who’s perfect lol All we can do is grow closer to him and slowly see the benefits.
I feel that but also reading this I realize each day is a new day. We can start again and have a good day in any new moment. The past is not real. It's a thought and we only have the current moment we are in. Not sure if that helps you or not.
@anniegreb I would love to start over again. But because I did ‘compulse’ and not finished with the theme about Jesus, I feel very unfair to Him. Compare to the other themes I had where I feel I did something enough. The reason I went back to Jesus obsession is because I had ROCD (my son) and I compulse and i felt relieved. I felt my compulsion was enough and that lead me to this spiruality thing. Now I am having the urge to think about it more cause that’s what I did for the other theme
Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling lately with something I never have before- doubting my Christian Faith. I’ve struggled with religious OCD for a while now so I guess it makes sense that this would eventually happen, but it’s still super difficult. I spent the past couple of days constantly google searching evidence for God, Jesus being God, why the Bible is true, etc., but every time I find something that makes me feel better, I keep looking and find someone who doesn’t believe in God arguing against the point that was made. I talked with my therapist today and I’m working on cutting down the compulsive googling, however I’m struggling with the thoughts still being stuck in my head that say I don’t actually believe in God and that it’s just something I’m telling myself. I’m mostly scared that if I don’t keep on reminding myself why I believe in God, I will eventually stop believing. If anyone is currently struggling with this or has overcome it and has any advice or stories of hope, I would greatly appreciate it.
I’ve wrote about this before but I’m doing so bad right now. I struggle with Pure O with a religious theme. Not so much scrupulosity, as much as just what feels like blasphemous thoughts against what I have believed to be true. Genuine questioning of faith is normal and actually I think it should be encouraged! But I feel like I’ve gone past that. I can’t remember the last time I went through a whole day without ruminating and googling information about my beliefs. It’s the first thing I start thinking about and it distracts me from everything that I try to do. I just want 100% assurance in what I believe but I can’t find that. Im searching for something that can’t be found. That doesn’t stop me from ruminating and devoting all of my energy to something that won’t be found. Any suggestions or help from Christian’s would be helpful
I am new to this. I recently was reading the Bible and then had a horrible blasphemous thought and it was vile and intrusive. It hasn’t gone away and now I’m questioning whether I will go to heaven or not if God will forgive me. I cried and cried and I kept repeating numbers in my head or stating different colors in my head. I asked God to help me but the thoughts won’t go away like it’s cutting me and I keep seeing the scar. I didn’t do good at work because I keep getting sweaty from guilt I tired to be more productive than usual so I wouldn’t think but then would stutter over my words bc the thoughts wouldn’t let me breathe. Then at home I tried to drown myself in alcohol only to end in a fight with my husband. And none of this is in chronological order because I feel dumb just writing all this. The most important thing is I know I Love God , Jesus and the Holy Spirt. I just want to feel better and not feel like a complete monster 😔😢
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