Recently been obsessed with the concept of free will. Are we really in control or was everything predetermined? if everything was predetermined then why am I me, why couldn’t I had been someone else who didn’t have all the problems I have.
Maybe you are you because you’re supposed to be the you right now. I think about this often, as well. “Why me? Why do I have to be a human with all these internal problems?! Why specifically with OCD?? What if I’d be better as someone else? Life could be easier, I bet.” And each time I think that, I think, “Well…if that’s the case, I can’t go back now. I’m already this far in. I’ll do what I can, I suppose.” Along with that, who’s to say a different you won’t experience worse than you got now? Regardless, if life is predetermined or free will or heck even both, your main focus is to just…Live. Make good decisions, do things you love, appreciate those who love you, experience, learn, grow, etc. Live. OCD wants answers but it will never be satisfied with answers. It wants you to constantly look for the answer. That’s its fuel. Sit with that uncertainty cause…who actually really knows? Who cares? Live and enjoy.
@EverActiveMind That was really well said thank you. ❤️
People having been asking theses question since the beginning of time
Does anyone have harm OCD related to recent events? Like events that just happened or happened not long ago? I feel like my OCD is trying to find something bad/immoral I could have done in nearly every situation that I am experiencing, for example “Did you just do that?”. And I constantly want to check, ask people for reassurance, try to find a logic answer by going it though in my head,… It’s many different themes but all related to doing sth bad/immoral (e.g., touching someone inappropriately, pushing someone in front of a vehicle, putting something in a drink/food). Does anyone have the same? Or the other thing that I experienced recently is that I did something (a rather unimportant action, not harming anyone) and I go over and over it and ask myself “why did you do that? What does that say about you? Are you actually a weird person?” It feels like I draw “false conclusions” from a real event… I don’t know if that’s OCD though or not. Just wondering if anyone has experienced the same. Good luck to you all! We’re not alone in this! 😊
Lately, I have been able to manage my OCD thoughts kind of. They’re still there but I kind of push them away? I know that pushing them away doesn’t help but it’s been my only way to survive. I get scared often about things like clothes or my voice or how I present myself. I get scared that I want to dress differently or act differently and it scares me. I know for a fact I don’t want boobs or anything like that, but my mind constantly is like “What if?” and it kills me. It has ruined everything for me. Sometimes I can’t even look in the mirror because I get scared that I won’t like what I see. I’ve also been afraid because I find myself relating to many female characters, or I want to act like them. Like Pearl from Steven Universe. I want to be graceful and elegant like her, but I don’t want to be a girl you know? My mind constantly pushes these thoughts of what if and images. Because I am not like most guys. Which I know is okay. It just freaks me out. It makes me question every aspect of my being. I know who I am, but I know that the only way to move forward is to accept that maybe I don’t.. It’s just a lot.
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
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