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Yous will get better. And im sure your boyfriend loves you very much and everything you're going through doesn't change a thing abt how you feel for him or abt how he feels for you. Just keep fighting the good fight and try to go with your thoughts and feelings and the anxiety and then let them pass.

I get this completely. My mind likes to constantly tell me that I like girls and that alone makes feel not right and not like me most days i can just handle the thought and move on but today i had a breaking point and cried 4 times because it wouldn't stop and it made me feel like i was the one doing it all along

I am feeling this way rn too