I'm nobody's favorite

There are quite a few Bible verses that make me feel this way -- too many to bring up. It's very depressing to me, because I feel like I can't find the type of love I want. I just sort of get the leftovers of Israel's salvation, like what Jesus says to the Canaanite woman. In the past, I had resigned myself to not being anyone's favorite, and I came to terms with it and wasn't too terribly bothered. God was my rock at that point, and if God liked me, I didn't care how others saw me so much. But now that I have reason to believe that God has people He considers more special than me, I don't feel like I have anything left

@Anonymous God will always consider you as special, try and make yourself feel as close as possible to God!!

@Preena Well, yeah, but I'm talking about equally special. A person's friend is special to them, but not as much as their own child is. I just feel very discouraged from trying to be so close to God, especially when others are closer.

@Anonymous Okay but God does not operate this way!god wouldn't count some people as more special than others because everyone is with God and God will always reward people who try to be closer to him because they want to be. I don't think you should compare with others because it's a personal thing- God is WITHIN everyone. The way your describing God makes God feel human when it is not the case!! I hope this helped :)

@Preena I'm not trying to argue that you're wrong. I'm just repeating what I'm hearing from the Bible and from the Christians that I know. And what I've been hearing isn't easy for me.

@Anonymous I'm really sorry your going through this, it sounds really difficult! I think at the end of the day, connecting with God is a personal experience. Everyone has differing views because Christianity is such a broad topic and even if some people say God views others as more special to you it doesn't exactly have to be true! But I think you have to realise this by trying to keep building a relationship with God. I hope this helped :)

@Preena Building a relationship with God is really hard for me; I honestly just don't feel like it if God really prefers others and considers them special.

@Anonymous I understand what you mean :( I just really don't think that God does prefer others or view them as more special to you. I think he views everyone equally

@Preena Mkay. I'm just not feeling well about this whole situation. 1 Cor 12 actually lists the hierarchy of the body parts of Christ, and Revelation says the apostles and tribes of Israel will have their names engraved around New Jerusalem forever. It's still very depressing to me, even with verses like John 3:16 and the verses that say there are no longer Jew and Gentile. It's just too depressing knowing that there is a hierarchy and special honors. I just wish I was special like these people are. And then it feels hypocritical when people tell me I'm wrong because they don't seem interested in my words; and they rarely admit the places in which I'm right, which are the exact same things that our pastors have been teaching for hundreds of years. I hope I don't sound like I'm coming on too strong or accusing anyone

@Anonymous It's okay, I understand where you are coming from. I understand this is something which is upsetting you :( and I'm really sorry it's preventing you from connecting with God. Personally I'm Hindu, but I still feel where you are coming from. I know it's hard to accept but I think God has a different kind of connection with people, and not just the kind of hierarchal order. It's better to focus on how everyone is special and how God views everyone as special. I think God is omnipotent and there isn't a limited amount of consideration or love for people- just because he is close to them does not mean that he cannot be equally close, or closer to you. I don't think your name has to be listed in the bible to think that God views you as special but it's something that you can feel. I would think of those people in the Bible as examples of how to act instead of people who have connections with god you cannot have. Comparing would just make you miserable when there is immense scripture to show that just because he views them as special he doesn't view others as not special he probably views and loves them equally special. I really hope this helped:) I wish the best for you, I know you can find a connection with God

@Preena Thanks. I appreciate your responses. I unfortunately can't say that my views are any different now than they were before, but I do really appreciate your responses. :) Sometimes I just feel like venting. I've been upset about this for the longest time, and I suppose I'm in it for the long haul.

@Anonymous That's okay!! Sometimes i feel like venting too. I guess all we can do is have faith even if we don't quite know the nature of God or existence. :)

@Preena Yeah. One thing I am pretty sure of is that if I knew the full truth, there would be a few things I wouldn't be happy with with my life and with who I am

@Anonymous I don't think anyone would be. I feel like very few of us are perfect and sometimes we can't even achieve the truth but if we just be good people and try and learn as much as possible that's the most important thing

@Preena Yeah, you're probably right. Still, I just don't feel okay having some things be the way they are. I mean, ALL of my life and ALL of my existence, I'll have to live with these things that I can't change which cause me so much grief

@Anonymous That's okay, sometimes just being aware and striving for good is right :) the world is too complex to do things 100% correctly

@Preena Well, I wasn't referring to any of my actions. I was referring to my ancestry and my blood and things of that nature that I can't change. Sure, people will say that that doesn't matter, but they will also say that it DOES matter just as often. It just depends on what is convenient to say at the time, what is happier for the discussion topic 😒