existential ocd help pls i feel crazeeee

trigger warning so nobody accidentally picks up this ocd type and tw for weed usage. i think this is ocd at least. i am diagnosed but it could be something else. im 15 and it all started after i got too high off of weed one night and had a panic attack when i was 14. it felt like my whole reality was shattering. i felt like i wasn’t real and that the world around me was fake. ever since ive been struggling with self image and wondering if im insane and if the world around me and the people around me are real. or if im even real. i wonder about people and the evolution behind it. what are we?? we created this civilization and its just odd to me for some reason, how everything became to be. i look around and wonder who i am, if im insane, i look at myself in the mirror somedays and wonder if i fit inside my body. if personality is just a construct or something else. it spirals into thoughts like am i even real?? am i a real person?? is the world around me real or a simulation or god knows what. it used to cause me major distress but ive learned to manage it because what else am i supposed to do. the worries come and go. it usually happens when i worry if im gonna die (ex if i stay up too late and arent tired i wonder if im gonna have a heart attack) and that spirals my anxiety. i feel like im in a constant state of disassociation or existential worries. i keep trying to find proof that im sane and everything is real but it just makes me worry more. im not good at letting stuff go, but i think thats what i have to do. i wonder if anyone else struggles with this or if im just crazy and alone. i think my ultimate fear is losing control of myself, if my brain spirals off to far and i cant reel it back in. sort of like a point of no return.

fcknsav

Date posted: 1y

Weed started this for me I never had existential ocd before it I used to smoke a lot like a lot and everything was fine until it would make me dissociate and not feel real and I questioned everything around me and my thoughts would spiral and for whatever reason itd give me rlly bad body dysmorphia too and then it just started giving me panic attacks and I had to stop smoking all together it made me feel crazy like i literally felt like I was just thinking to much about everything or it would make me super anxious

TwistedLogic

Date posted: 1y

Yes that's existential OCD and I started having that when I was 12. What helped me was reading Descartes. He said if you can ask these questions, it proves that you exist.

imsonocd

Date posted: 23w

Any tips on Existential OCD?

I’m really struggling with this theme because it can make me feel “fake” and it creates doubts that the world around me isn’t real or it’s a simulation? I’m really trying to expose myself but even the possibility makes me incredibly afraid. It even plays into my suicidal ocd as well and makes me afraid that my life would be miserable if this was true. I know how ocd works and I know not to fully believe that. But at the same time, I am trapped in doubt and fear. How could I possibly accept this? Will I ever see the world or life the same again? (Don’t answer that I realize that’s reassurance). Idk this theme is so ass.

AnnFon

Date posted: 18w

Existential/Anxiety OCD

This is my first post, so I apologize if the formatting is weird. I experience existential ocd I always struggled as a kid but learned more and more how to manage with school and such forcing me to learn how, now I experience a lot of overwhelming intrusions from when I wake up to when I go to bed (simply because I live and work in the same place it gets cabin feverish) but now more often going out maybe it’s just paranoia, I walk into a place and each person comes with a story immediately, every piece of trash on the floor, every piece of produce, each isle is a brand new way I could get into a life altering situation. I’ve managed well enough but sometimes I just completely lose my original objective and just leave or I’ll wanna leave my house but everything that goes with it and that could happen pops up and I just won’t go. It’s started to become avoidant behavior. Any help or similar stories? I just feel like I’m going crazy but my thoughts are so scattered and immediate it’s hard to break the habit and not spin a story. Thank yall!

user23456789

Date posted: 13w

Existential OCD

Hey guys so I’m new here and just recently started struggling with some health ocd and thinking I had a brain tumor but it’s taken a turn for the worse and become this existential ocd where I’m questioning quite literally everything in my life, the purpose of being here and stuff. I just started meds yesterday, which is scary for me cause I’ve never been on them before. I keep having thoughts like, why does everything feel like a blur, what’s the meaning of this and I wake up every day with just existential dread. I’ve been having very vivid dreams that make dreaming and reality confusing I also am scared cause I’m dealing with some DP/DR as well. I just wish my life could go back to a few months ago before I knew all of this was possible. I guess I’m just writing this too get it off my chest and see if any of you all have gone through something similar and made it out okay?

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existential ocd help pls i feel crazeeee

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