AnonCat227

Date posted: 1y

Praying to Exist

One of my biggest struggles with OCD is the necessity to pray. Not because I feel drawn to the Holy Spirit to pray not because I feel close to God to pray, but to make sure I don’t go to hell or to not have to deal with the thoughts throughout the day that I have to pray in order to exist I before I can listen to music. I have to pray before I can eat. I have to pray before I can sleep. I have to pray before I can even really exist on this earth even as soon as I wake up during the day, I have to pray, a constant being forced to pray instead of being devoted to prayer.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

So, in these cases, praying is a compulsion. The real purpose of prayer (to connect with God in a meaningful way) has been hijacked by OCD. God doesn’t want you to have to pray like that. He would rather you had one tiny, short prayer every day than all these compulsive prayers. God doesn’t want you miserable like this. He wants you to be free.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

So the best thing to do here is to LABEL what is going on. I am going to make my best guesses, and you can correct me if needed. The thoughts that say that you need to pray before you can do “[fill in the blank with eating or sleeping, etc.]” are defined as the OBSESSIONS. These are completely false. They are not not true and not biblical. They are giving you false premises on which to run your life. The act of praying as a way of keeping you safe is defined as the COMPULSION. Compulsions are safety-seeking behaviors we often do to avoid the disaster or danger that our obsessions tell us is certainly coming. When you go through ERP therapy, there are several things you learn about handling the obsessions and compulsions. I’ll go over them below…

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

For you, this means that if the OCD says you MUST pray, don’t try to fight that thought off. That thought can swirl around in your head if it wants. If you have intrusive, repetitive thoughts (maybe bad thoughts about God or other bad thoughts), don’t try to fight those off. Let them just run their course in your head. When the fear comes that “you have to pray or something bad will happen [fill in the blank with the bad thing],” then you need to resist the compulsion. You need to stop praying at those times, despite the fact that the fear will rise up even higher. (That’s okay.) If you are worried that God will be offended if you stop praying, don’t be concerned about that. God doesn’t want you bound up and stuck in the OCD cage of compulsive prayers. God actually wants you to TAKE THE STEPS OF FAITH that go against your OCD and lead to freedom. You see, when I was serving my OCD, I thought I was serving God. But when I learned that I was actually obeying God by going AGAINST my OCD, things got a lot better.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

I used to have blasphemous thoughts against God running in my head constantly. And I thought I had to mentally “fix” each one of them. And I thought that by obeying “rules” in my day (like not eating chocolate or popcorn), I could somehow avoid the blasphemy. I had to learn to let the blasphemous thoughts RUN AROUND IN MY HEAD without trying to fix them. That was scary at first. It was an ACT OF FAITH to let them run freely. But when I did that, I opened the door for them to go away. Over time, I also got free from the “rules” I had created. I had about 150 of them per day, and they were constantly changing. My OCD would say, “If you don’t go to the park today, you will be safe from blasphemy. If you don’t part your hair on the side today, you will be safe from blasphemy.” And so on and so on and so on. Like I said, I had about 150 of these “rules” every day. Remember, we are doing COMPULSIONS when we follow the rules. The compulsions are supposed to keep us “safe.” But they don’t keep us safe. They are a lie. And we have to stop doing compulsions. The good news is that God WANTS us to stop doing the compulsions. The OCD has tricked us into thinking we are serving God by following the compulsions. Nothing could be further from the truth. The OCD compulsions just make us trapped and miserable. God actually wants us to learn the deeper steps of faith of GOING AGAINST your compulsions. A therapist trained in ERP should help you navigate a lot of this and lead you through the ERP therapy process. Feel free to write more if you want to:):)I am happy to talk more.:):) I am here if you want to talk or have questions.

Youarenotyou...

Date posted: 1y

@Tea and Honey Everything you said is so good !!!

Youarenotyou...

Date posted: 1y

@Tea and Honey Ru a Christian who has become aware of Religious OCD? For me I am and it’s been challenging g

Youarenotyou...

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Like her comment above says, I’m the same way. I want intimacy with the Holy spirit in prayer but not compulsively

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yes, I am a Christian who has been recovering from religious OCD for a long time. Yes, it’s such a challenge!! I have some good resources for you. I don’t know if you have heard of them or not? 1.),Jaime Eckert (sp?) on scrupulosity.com. She has a BLOG that addresses so much about religious OCD. She also runs a group therapy support group that I was in for years. It was wonderful! And I thought it was very affordable for weekly (or biweekly)meetings at $60 a month. 2.). Mark DeJesus on YouTube (and he has some books too). He talks a lot about suffering from OCD and the need to understand the love and grace of God better. (Because when we have OCD, we mostly can’t understand how love and grace work at all.)

Cammy123

Date posted: 1y

@Tea and Honey Recently I’ve been dealing with such awful blasphemous intrusive thoughts! It’s gotten to the point where my mind thinks/believes I could have said them out loud and they terrify me because I would NEVER say them but I get so scared what if I did and am always praying to God & Jesus that IF I said those blasphemous intrusive thoughts out loud to please forgive me because I would never want to think or say them. Sometimes I get so scared God will leave me because what IF I said them! Sometimes I get scared to even talk out loud because of these thoughts! How can I move forward? What has helped you? Im always trying to prove to myself & God I don’t want these thoughts.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

@Cammy123 lol 😂 I just got done with an episode just right now. I thought what if I said something blasphemous loud? And then I spent 20 minutes thinking about whether I did or not , lol I don’t know if what has helped me would help you or not. Sometimes what works for one person doesn’t work for another person at all. I would recommend Jaime Eckert (sp?) at scrupulosity.com for questions like this. She understands this very well , and she can explain from a biblical point of view why we are safe (even when we don’t think we are). She struggles with OCD herself, so she’s very familiar with all the questions:):)

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

@Cammy123 One thing that is good to know is that any accidents are not blasphemous, even if you thought you said something out loud. The same applied to me, and also with a physical thing I was worried about with regard to blaspheming. Even if I did that by accident, it’s not blasphemy

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

@Cammy123 lol, my brain keeps going over and over back to an hour so, and saying , “Did you say something outloud? Did you say something outloud? Well, maybe you are going to die now.” This causes a lot of anxiety. But in the end, OCD is an exercise in FAITH and TRUST. We have to learn how to trust that God keeps us safe every day. Despite the fact that we are weak and confused and struggling. OCD will cause you to deepen your faith in God and his unchangeable truths. This had the exercise I have to do every time I have these “episodes” where I feel like I probably lost my salvation (due to blasphemy). You would think that after all these years that I would have learned better by now. ButI struggle every time. It’s like this: I have an episode and feel like maybe I am lost. I have to remind myself of God’s immutable, UNCHANGING truth which says that God’s promise to keep my salvation remains firm. You have to believe in God’s promises despite what your feelings and your brain might tell you. (Because your feelings and brain are only going to tell you about inevitable doom and destruction.) This is not a comfortable process. It’s painful. I wish I had different struggles than the one I have. I am constantly revisiting the idea of my salvation. I am often worried I lost it—and then I have to remind myself of God’s UNCHANGING truths. It’s hard. But the more we practice, the easier it gets. Faith is a muscle, just like anything else. The more you exercise that muscle (in the gym of OCD doubt and fear), the stronger you will get. It’s like child we know who had cancer. We told him that he would be STRONGER afterward. God will make you a stronger Christian as you grow through all these struggles. And you will get there!!! God will get you beyond the place where you are suffering right now. Let this sink in: Your suffering is deep. It really is. OCD is the second most excruciatingly painful mental disorder in the world. I know. I have lived it. Your suffering is real and deep. But God can get you to a place that is better. Keep searching out His ways. Keep getting help for yourself, whether through online resources or therapy or friends (or all of them). Some people may not be helpful or can make things worse if they don’t understand what you are going through. If that happens, that’s okay, just get back up, dust off, and keep moving. Let God be in control of your journey. The experts understand OCD inside and out now. It’s not like it was in the old days, when people suffered in silence, because no one really knew what OCD was. There are lots of really good resources online. One great book is “Can Christianity Cure Obsessive Compulsive Disorder “ by Dr. Ian Osborn (spelling?). In this book, he talks about a “therapy of Trust.” He talks about rolling all the responsibility of our OCD onto God. The author describes many famous Christians in history who had OCD, and their journeys were similar in very key ways. They were all so broken down that all they could land upon was a trust in God. OCD will bring you that conclusion. It is faith WITHOUT sight, because everything that you see and feel tells us that we are going to die. But we are learning to walk by faith, not by sight.

Youarenotyou...

Date posted: 1y

@Tea and Honey Yes I know mark de Jesus !! Actually God used His ministry to open my eyes to religious OCD and scrupulosity

Cammy123

Date posted: 1y

@Tea and Honey Thank you so much to replying! Really I thought I was the only one! Especially when it comes to the “did I accidentally say these thoughts out loud?!”. One thing someone told me was that the fact that we’re scared to say it out loud shows it isn’t us! Also the fact that IF we did accidentally say it out loud (hence the word accidentally) that we clearly didn’t mean it or meant to say it! I saw a beautiful post that said God loves us NO matter what! NO matter what we say, think or do! He forgives ALL sin! I believe He forgives people who actually say these thoughts and mean them! I hear ALL the time were never too far away from God!! I truly believe if someone said the meanest and done the most horrible things and ask God to forgive them and give there life to them I believe He will forgive! Like I feel like we forget how loving, sweet and good our God & Lord Jesus is!! But the crazy thing is when you have OCD you can believe it for others and sometimes not yourself! I thought committing blasphemy was thoughts but someone said it’s rejecting God until the day you die! Like the fact that we WANT to love God! Worship Him, Praise Him and I want to be with Him! That’s why those thoughts hurts honestly! Because I don’t want Him to think I mean them or want them. Unfortunately with OCD it’ll make you think you want them, that you’re the one saying them on purpose or even thinking them on purpose. It makes me doubt myself! Makes me doubt sometimes if I’m a Christian for having these blasphemous thoughts! Makes me question if I love God because of these thoughts. This disorder has made me doubt God like I’ve never done before! This happened right after I truly gave my life to Him but honestly even tho this is such a painful thing to deal with! Seriously being in your head 24/7. Feeling so much shame and guilt for these thoughts. 24/7 anxiety! Feeling scared if He will leave me or if I’m saved? Sometimes my mind questions His existence! It’s hard but I wouldn’t change my path because even tho I deal with awful intrusive blasphemous thoughts! It being cussing, rejecting thoughts, enemy thoughts and any type of just awful thought about God or towards Him. It brings me to tears but I wouldn’t change the moment I know I gave my life to Him! It just shows it isn’t us. I’ve dealt with other themes but never really realized I had OCD until this theme! I know God is such a loving God! That He has so much grace, mercy and love for us! That He understands OCD more then I could ever understand! Heck my OCD makes me doubt I have OCD!!! This disorder is just so selfish. It really takes your eyes away from God & Jesus. It really distorts our view on God, our walk and on ourselves!

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

Hello, have you started ERP therapy? Have you heard of it? It can REALLY, really help in these situations.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 1y

1.) First, you don’t do anything about your obsessions. Not a thing. Nothing. Don’t try to fight them or fix them. This also includes your intrusive thoughts (which are the repetitive words and images that run through your mind constantly). Don’t fight the intrusive thoughts. Just let them be there. Don’t try to fight them off. That only makes them worse. Imagine your brain has a storm of bees inside of it. You just let the bees swarm and buzz around and do whatever they are going to do. But don’t try to stop them. Inside, your head is buzzing and going crazy. But on the outside, you continue to live your life just the way you want to live it. ———————————————— 2.) You don’t allow yourself to do the compulsions. In fact, you can do the very opposite of the compulsions if you want. If your OCD tells you to pray before you eat, you refuse to pray. If the OCD says to tap the light switch three times, you tap it once—just to mess with the OCD. If the OCD says not to touch the door handle because is full of germs, you put both hands on the door handle and squeeze it tight. You go against everything the OCD says to do. I’ll give some examples …

Preena

Date posted: 1y

This is exactly me!! I wake up thinking immediate that I have to pray and I can't go into a room with a picture of God without praying. I really hope you get better soon! :)

jesus.is.fre...

Date posted: 21w

OCD 'feeling real'

I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort

G C

Date posted: 11w

Religious ocd

It’s so hard to pray to God. I don’t want o put him on the back burner but I get anxiety talking to him and sitting in his presence. Then I will force myself to but then I just feel dumb since my flesh doesn’t want me to. And I pray and rush it then immediately scroll on my phone after cuz I get stressed and don’t know how to hear from him bc if I pray and just wait for Him I will get intrusive thoughts over and over and like I can’t even hear him anyway my mind is constantly going 1 million miles an hour and I have so many real life problems too on top of the ocd that makes it even harder.

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Praying to Exist

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