- Username
- efm123
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes, I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years w the love of my life and every time things are especially good this happens to me! Your brain just might be so used to chaos that you create it yourself. They’re just intrusive thoughts; if they weren’t, they wouldn’t upset you so much!
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, since we were teenagers, and he’s the love of my life and best friend. However, I struggle with thinking it’s “not enough.” Like no matter what, I always want something “more” and feel like I can’t ever just be satisfied. Especially when things are really good and we’re really happy. It’s like my brain wants to make a mess of the goodness. I can totally relate. It’s just intrusive thoughts and would happen with anyone you’re with. I’m sorry we’re all dealing with this ❤️
I understand what you’re going through! Whenever I’m alone with my boyfriend I feel super calm and everything but then a few hours later or the next day I’ll be like “You don’t actually like him.” or “You shouldn’t have done that.” It’s exhausting
Hi ashez. How are things going? Do you have any kids?
Hi! Sorry for the late reply. Things are going good. My husband and I have a really amazing relationship with good communication so he always knows where my head is at, which helps keep me grounded. We don’t have any children, which I think is what often contributes to my “not enough” thoughts. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother, but health wise, it never worked out for us. We talked about other ways to have children, but eventually decided we like our life the way it is and don’t want to have children. Unfortunately, even though I know for sure that I’m perfectly happy not having children, sometimes I have this thought pop into my head that I won’t be happy later in life if I don’t have them or that secretly I do want them. I start to obsess over it and that’s where the trouble comes in. I’m learning to accept the “what if.” What if I am unhappy later because we never had children...that’s ok. Hope that made sense! I’ve just had a 13 hour work day so my communication skills are not great right now ? How are you doing?
I’m doing ok as well. My brain is on constant alert for all these things. Do I love her? Did I ever love her? Was there ever any reason? I always had doubts even while dating but I dismissed them and got married anyways. Once I committed and got engaged, the thoughts shut down completely for a few years. I mean I’ve had ocd all my life in other ways and forms so I guess I’m not surprised with this but this theme has by far been the hardest for me.
I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and before we went on holiday all I wanted was to get engaged (or so I thought, because people kept saying when are you getting married, when will you have a baby?) and I’m happy the way we are. Then on holiday my BF joked about buying me an engagement present and I had a panic attack and two whole days of worrying, “does this mean I don’t love him anymore, is there something wrong with me”, even picturing myself not being happy on my wedding day so my imagination went wild. I know deep down I don’t ever see a life without him but I feel pressured to follow the path everybody does and I’m just not ready to get married but I’m 34 and people (society) say that’s what I should be doing. I know that I do love my BF very much, we live together and have a pet, so I’m very much committed, but since then I’ve been having urges to ‘check’ I still love him, for example if we cuddle do I feel a certain way, or having constant thoughts in the third person like “she doesn’t deserve him, she is a bad person, she is lying, she doesn’t feel anything” and the thoughts whizz around constantly. I know that this is my condition but I have a wonderful relationship and I am turning cold and distant because I feel so depressed and empty most days. ?
Why does it keep feeling better/right for me to leave my wonderful relationship? It feels more wrong and it hurts more at the thought of staying. I keep hearing in my brain I’m just with him bc I don’t want to be alone, but these thoughts and feelings are driving me crazy. I want to cocoon and be alone but of course I want to stay in this relationship. It’s like my brain doesn’t want to be convinced that I love him or want to stay with him. It’s like it only wants us to be alone so we’re no longer stressed about this stuff. I hate that’s how exhausted I am with all this shit😞any tips/help?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(
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