- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years w the love of my life and every time things are especially good this happens to me! Your brain just might be so used to chaos that you create it yourself. They’re just intrusive thoughts; if they weren’t, they wouldn’t upset you so much!
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, since we were teenagers, and he’s the love of my life and best friend. However, I struggle with thinking it’s “not enough.” Like no matter what, I always want something “more” and feel like I can’t ever just be satisfied. Especially when things are really good and we’re really happy. It’s like my brain wants to make a mess of the goodness. I can totally relate. It’s just intrusive thoughts and would happen with anyone you’re with. I’m sorry we’re all dealing with this ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand what you’re going through! Whenever I’m alone with my boyfriend I feel super calm and everything but then a few hours later or the next day I’ll be like “You don’t actually like him.” or “You shouldn’t have done that.” It’s exhausting
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi ashez. How are things going? Do you have any kids?
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi! Sorry for the late reply. Things are going good. My husband and I have a really amazing relationship with good communication so he always knows where my head is at, which helps keep me grounded. We don’t have any children, which I think is what often contributes to my “not enough” thoughts. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother, but health wise, it never worked out for us. We talked about other ways to have children, but eventually decided we like our life the way it is and don’t want to have children. Unfortunately, even though I know for sure that I’m perfectly happy not having children, sometimes I have this thought pop into my head that I won’t be happy later in life if I don’t have them or that secretly I do want them. I start to obsess over it and that’s where the trouble comes in. I’m learning to accept the “what if.” What if I am unhappy later because we never had children...that’s ok. Hope that made sense! I’ve just had a 13 hour work day so my communication skills are not great right now ? How are you doing?
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m doing ok as well. My brain is on constant alert for all these things. Do I love her? Did I ever love her? Was there ever any reason? I always had doubts even while dating but I dismissed them and got married anyways. Once I committed and got engaged, the thoughts shut down completely for a few years. I mean I’ve had ocd all my life in other ways and forms so I guess I’m not surprised with this but this theme has by far been the hardest for me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 22w
Is anyone here going throughbSOOCD while being in a relationship? If yes, do you feel like “something is missing” even tho everything is great? My OCD keeps on telling me “you’re settling” or “yeah you’re happy with what you have but its nothing compared to what you would be feeling if you were with a girl, but you’re with your bf for society!” Im soo tired!! When I look at him I find him so attractive and handsome but i dont know if im attracted to him or if he’s just attractive!! And while growing up I was never “pulled by guys” but I thought that everyone was this way! I also used to look at girls because I found them Beautiful but I thought that everyone used to look at them this way! I think what truly bothering me is “comphet” and the “lesbian masterdoc”. Like I feel like I can relate to some points! Yes I used to choosw my crushes growing up but it felt like everyone used to do the same thing! As for my current bf, we started out as friend and then it turned into something else but now im scared I just agreed to being his gf because “that’s what I had to do” and im scared that he’s my “beard”. I particularly got triggered yesterday because my friends were talking about their celebrities crush and I couldnt think about anyone without forcing it! Instead I could easily think about kristen stewart or someone with the same vibe. All of this + my feelings must mean something no??? I just want to feel “in love” my bf is perfect!
- Date posted
- 19w
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
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