- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years w the love of my life and every time things are especially good this happens to me! Your brain just might be so used to chaos that you create it yourself. They’re just intrusive thoughts; if they weren’t, they wouldn’t upset you so much!
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years, since we were teenagers, and he’s the love of my life and best friend. However, I struggle with thinking it’s “not enough.” Like no matter what, I always want something “more” and feel like I can’t ever just be satisfied. Especially when things are really good and we’re really happy. It’s like my brain wants to make a mess of the goodness. I can totally relate. It’s just intrusive thoughts and would happen with anyone you’re with. I’m sorry we’re all dealing with this ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand what you’re going through! Whenever I’m alone with my boyfriend I feel super calm and everything but then a few hours later or the next day I’ll be like “You don’t actually like him.” or “You shouldn’t have done that.” It’s exhausting
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi ashez. How are things going? Do you have any kids?
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi! Sorry for the late reply. Things are going good. My husband and I have a really amazing relationship with good communication so he always knows where my head is at, which helps keep me grounded. We don’t have any children, which I think is what often contributes to my “not enough” thoughts. Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother, but health wise, it never worked out for us. We talked about other ways to have children, but eventually decided we like our life the way it is and don’t want to have children. Unfortunately, even though I know for sure that I’m perfectly happy not having children, sometimes I have this thought pop into my head that I won’t be happy later in life if I don’t have them or that secretly I do want them. I start to obsess over it and that’s where the trouble comes in. I’m learning to accept the “what if.” What if I am unhappy later because we never had children...that’s ok. Hope that made sense! I’ve just had a 13 hour work day so my communication skills are not great right now ? How are you doing?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m doing ok as well. My brain is on constant alert for all these things. Do I love her? Did I ever love her? Was there ever any reason? I always had doubts even while dating but I dismissed them and got married anyways. Once I committed and got engaged, the thoughts shut down completely for a few years. I mean I’ve had ocd all my life in other ways and forms so I guess I’m not surprised with this but this theme has by far been the hardest for me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
- Date posted
- 21w
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m struggling so much and I really need to let this out. Everything I think and feel about my boyfriend and my relationship feels so real. It doesn’t feel like “just thoughts.” It feels like clarity. Like something in me finally accepted the truth I’ve been trying to deny for a long time. I keep thinking things like: • “I don’t like him.” • “I don’t love him.” • “I never did, I just thought I did.” • “I’m only here because I wanted a relationship and he’s a good person.” These thoughts don’t feel intrusive — they feel like truths. And that terrifies me. We’ve been together for a long time and he truly loves me. He supports me. He’s kind. But I keep feeling distant. Like I don’t connect to him. Sometimes I even feel disgust or anxiety when I’m near him, and I hate admitting that because he doesn’t deserve this. I don’t feel warmth when I look at him or think about us. I can’t even imagine a future together — and that used to be all I dreamed about. What hurts even more is that I used to feel more grounded, I used to have hope. Now I feel like everything has collapsed and nothing makes sense. I’m constantly analyzing if I love him or not. I don’t know if it’s ROCD or if I’m just forcing a relationship I don’t want deep down. Sometimes, I tell myself: “I must love him, because I’m suffering so much.” But other times I think: “Maybe I’m just a good person who doesn’t want to hurt someone, and that’s why I stay.” I feel like I’m drowning in guilt, confusion, and fear. I can’t talk to my mom about this anymore because she’s overwhelmed. I don’t know who to talk to without making it worse. Even when I try to be calm, the thoughts are there, or this numbness is there. I don’t know how to sit with these thoughts anymore. They don’t feel like thoughts — they feel like my reality. Please, if anyone relates, I would appreciate hearing from you. This is the darkest I’ve felt. Thank you for reading.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond