Drinking and OCD

My OCD is awful when it comes to intrusive thoughts, and I also have BPD. I’ve never acted on the intrusions in harmful ways before—I’ve always found ways to manage them that are healthy and safe. But I got quite drunk during a psychiatric episode (I wasn’t fully aware I was in one at the time), and I acted on an intrusive thought in a way that wasn’t healthy or very safe. That’s the best way I can put it. I’m so ashamed and overwhelmed with guilt. I didn’t physically harm anyone or anything, but what I did was enough that it’s been eating me alive and has severely heightened my mental state. I’ve tried using my usual coping skills, I reached out to 988 and other crisis lines, I even texted AI chats. But I’m too scared to tell my regular therapist or psychiatrist. I’m currently on a leave of absence from work because I was already in a crisis state, and now I just don’t know what to do. I tried looking for articles or videos from people who’ve acted on intrusive thoughts, but everything says things like “people with OCD never act on them” or “intrusive thoughts are harmless,” and while those can be reassuring in general, I did act on one. Not being able to find any resources or support for this makes me feel even worse. That’s a big reason why I downloaded this app.

this weekend, i went out with some friends who were staying with me from out of town and i drank too much. because of my job and mental health i very proactively limit how much i drink but i got caught up in the fun of the moment and drank past my limit. this morning, i woke up to a message from my boss about a tragedy that happened in my community this past weekend. my mind is rapidly trying to draw connections between me drinking too much and this tragedy. my ocd is trying to convince me that i caused it while i was drinking and that i just don't remember it. anyone else experience things like this? i'm trying not to seek reassurance but it's getting difficult!

Hi all! I wanted to share something that’s been bothering me for a while, and maybe some of you can relate. I’ve had my driver’s license for 2 years now… but I don’t drive. I’m honestly really scared of getting behind the wheel — I’m afraid I’ll mess up, panic, or cause an accident. Sometimes I feel embarrassed because it seems like everyone around me drives without a second thought. Are there any of you who have the same fear or have gone through this and managed to overcome it? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice. Thank you so much in advance!