Looking for shared experiences overcoming harm/suicidal thoughts and pure OCD.

so you can go i have the intrusive thought i am going to fill the blank and recorded and listen to it over and over and over, at the beggining is scary but then after a while you will be getting bored from hearing it....

@Anonymous So for the suicidal theme for example , just say like “I’m having the thought of shooting/killing myself” ?

@Anonymous 25# yes i had intrusive though of putting a gun in my mouth and shot, the more extreme you the more ERP will work.

@Anonymous And you just recorded yourself saying that like on your phone and just kept listening to it ? Sorry I just wana make sure I do this right

@Endlessly Pondering Hi how are you ? Currently my theme and wondering if you overcame this ?

@Who_knows? Hi! Doing so much better. Therapy and meds help a ton. You got this’

@Endlessly Pondering How long did it last for you ? I’m scared of meds , I just don’t wanna have a bad reaction to them . Can I ask if you were ever scared of being depressed ?

@Who_knows? Like a year 🤦🏻‍♂️ Totally understand the hesitancy for meds. Absolutely, at one point The thoughts got so bad They did send me into a depression. I could barely eat or move. Working with a psychiatrist and therapist helps tremendously. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, that is their job jobs to help you.

@Endlessly Pondering What was tour experience with this theme ? Like thoughts wise ? When you went into depression did the thoughts attack ? I feel like when I’m sad the thoughts attack and make me “confused” or make me question and it makes me even sadder and panic

@Who_knows? Constant thoughts about suicide. I want to die, I don’t want to live, what happens when I die, etc. it was brutal and debilitating. There were days I couldn’t move or eat. But it’s very treatable by professionals. What are your thoughts?

@Endlessly Pondering Same !! It’s not so much to suicide it’s more so depression now and then the suicidal ocd latches to that

@Who_knows? What are your compulsions?

@Endlessly Pondering Mental compulsions telling myself I would never , and telling my husband what if it happens , or coming on this app seeing everyone’s stories and asking what thoughts they have . 🫠🫠

@Who_knows? Literally the same lol. It’s going to be so hard, but what happens when you don’t do your compulsions?

@Endlessly Pondering Freak out and am in my head so much arguing with myself and asking everyone do you think I’m depressed (some say yes) then I got hot flashes with anxiety and my stomach drops . Then I come back on this website to see stories of my same subtype 🫠🫠

@Anonymous Trust me I get it. It’s been a journey and sometimes it feels like there’s no way out. The exposures are brutal. I’ve had to watch videos, sit in a closet with a weapon, write out the word suicide over and over. Truthfully my main trigger are just the thoughts themselves and that starts up the whole rumination cycle. I was just asking any other thing people recommended for this theme because it’s been stuck for me for a while.

Dont worry about if it triggers me, more exposure for me, i just got diagnose about a year ago of my OCD becoming a dad trigger my OCD genes, i am learning so much about my thought patterns and all that OCD bullshit, i am learning to no be afraid to have fear, we just need to retrain our brain, it will get better stick with it. You got this.

@Anonymous I’ve been praying for a breakthrough!

@Anonymous 25# That’s exactly me too! Just the thoughts are my triggers. When asked by my therapist what triggered me, I was like just the thoughts! It sucks

@Anonymous 25# it will come just stick with it

yes i repeat over and over and i over exagerated too. Like after i am dead is going to be so much blood around and all that stuff

@Anonymous Did it work?