- Date posted
- 45w ago
Help advice welcome
I don’t even think this is OCD I’m just looking for advice on this: I fancy females but the thought of sex with them makes me anxious, nervous, guilty and sick why is that, also I’m a male.
I don’t even think this is OCD I’m just looking for advice on this: I fancy females but the thought of sex with them makes me anxious, nervous, guilty and sick why is that, also I’m a male.
What kind of advice are you looking for? Advice on whether this anxiety is OCD-related? Or advice on understanding your sexuality?
@fruitbat42069 Both plz
@ Anonymous So, i think a good litmus test for understanding if it’s OCD or not is how thoughts make you feel. It sounds like it could be OCD because feeling anxious, nervous, guilty, and sick are all very common feelings about thoughts that we have obsessions about. Then, if it’s a recurring or “intrusive thought” that you don’t want to be there. If the thoughts you feel go against your character, and therefore make you feel awful and upset, that’s a good indication that it could be OCD.
Yeah I understand thankyou, I don’t think it’s OCD related I just think it’s the thought of sex and the male being the provider in sex kinda is what I’m nervous for I guess? But is that me questioning my sexuality I don’t know
@ Anonymous No, that sounds more like performance anxiety. Which is super normal. It’s stressful to feel like you have to have a good sexual experience. You don’t have to. Sex for the first time with anyone is always different and could be not that great. And that’s ok!
@fruitbat42069 Okay thanks perhaps that’ll put my mind at ease a little thankyou
As for understanding your sexuality, it can be really difficult to understand and can take time and different experiences and reflection to really feel confident about. I’ve heard many times tho and agree with the fact that sexuality can be fluid and change a little bit over time for different folks and through different experiences. If you’ve never had sex before, it could just be that you’re afraid of the act of sex because of it’s taboo in culture or the risks it has or many other reasons. People all have different relationships with sex, and that’s ok. You don’t have to shame or push yourself into liking anything that you don’t want, but it’s also okay to explore and try new things, so long as you’re consenting and so is the other person.
@fruitbat42069 Yes thankyou for the comment that has helped perhaps it’s become even more difficult with my problems that are occurring for the last 2 years, but thankyou for this.
@ Anonymous Of course. I’m glad my comments could help you out a little. Good luck 🫡
@fruitbat42069 Thankyou
Sexuality is fluid. I think @fruitbat42069 said it perfectly.
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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