biggest struggle

so i’m not diagnosed with ocd (as i’ve said a lot of times) but everyone i’ve talked to on this app agrees that i most likely have it. and i strongly 100% agree with contamination ocd. however i’m scared about whether that’s true for my harm thoughts. so i recently discovered pure o because i don’t typically do physical compulsions as much as mental compulsions with my harm thoughts. and i ruminate, have intense anxiety, check my feelings, the whole 10. but one thing that i don’t know if it’s normal is when people say they’re “unwanted” or you really don’t WANT to do them, i literally feel like i do. and when the urges get strong, i don’t know what’s holding me back because while i’ve never ever acted on it, it genuinely feels like i want to. my brain has literally convinced me that i have anxiety because i can’t do it instead of because i’m scared i will do it. is this a normal thing?

flowerpetals

Date posted: 1y

also when people say “this isn’t actually you”, i never feel better or feel reassured. like it feels like that’s not the answer i was looking for. please tell me this isn’t an uncommon experience??

justsomone1

Date posted: 1y

@flowerpetals Babe . The best thing I’ve heard on this app is you’re intrusive thoughts is what you don’t want. They’re not you no matter how much your mind trys to convince you they are , you wouldn’t be looking for a diagnosis, on this app , if they actually where truly your thoughts. I struggle with this a lot.

flowerpetals

Date posted: 1y

@justsomone1 i literally was on tiktok listening to people’s symptoms and seeing what related to myself. i have researched the last couple of days. i review my memories so many times. everything points to ocd but then i have those thoughts and my world is crumbling. i was at the store earlier with my siblings and my brain was saying “strangle your brother” and the urge was so strong. i did not do it and have never, but i consistently wonder why because it feels like i want to

justsomone1

Date posted: 1y

@flowerpetals I’ve actually had so many thoughts similar to this , even worse , and it’s really sad and very very scary . but you’re not alone babe. and it’s ocd , it’s not you. they’re unwanted scary thoughts , if had thoughts in bed with my bf to “ strangle him” or “ suffocate” him and they’ve sent me into panic attacks. You’re not alone

flowerpetals

Date posted: 1y

@justsomone1 i appreciate hearing this, thank you 🫶🏻

justsomone1

Date posted: 1y

So completely normal , everyone with ocd struggles with this ❤️

Todd James

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I get you, are you worried that this could mean you have a problem that isn't OCD? That thought in it's self can be OCD. Anxiety about not being anxious about harm thoughts. Is that what it is?

flowerpetals

Date posted: 1y

@Todd James i was so terribly panicked the whole day, i was getting nauseous. it just feels so real and like i literally want it. i feel like i’m different

Todd James

Date posted: 1y

@flowerpetals Yes, OCD always feels real and it most often is coupled with the question "but what if?" Sounds to me like your having a double OCD of 1. Intrusive harmful thought. 2. What if I actually want to. 3. Panic. Im not a OCD specialist but what I have learnt is to not fight against OCD but to agree with it like it's some annoying kid. You can start by labelling every "what if" thought as OCD. What OCD can't survive around is you wanting what your afraid of. It's tricky at first but it works For example - I want to have these thoughts and I want to be unsure what they mean. https://youtu.be/aefWxEMNlnQ?si=t2w1B5Dfh9FwEqvp

Hexxi

Date posted: 22w

Harm ocd urges?

Harm ocd urges Does anyone else have such strong harm ocd urges regarding your obsession that it literally feels like you’re holding back from doing it? I understand that harm ocd does indeed include urges, but can they rlly feel THAT real? Like at any time I could just “decide” to do it?

Catlove9

Date posted: 22w

What do you say to OCD when you have harm urges?

I am struggling right now with intrusive harm urges. They feel real and it feels like I am going to act any second. It feels like I have to hold myself back, which is a scary thoughts. I am trying so hard not to compulse, but does anyone have tips on what they do in these situations?

flowerpetals

Date posted: 21w

frustrating

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.

Harm OCD

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