Crushing on same sex character?

So I thought I was doing better at managing my SO OCD, but THEN I feel like I’m finding something new to worry about and focus on. Recently, I’ve found a fictional character of the same sex to be very attractive and I think “Wow! She’s so pretty AND cool!” Funny because I had these thoughts about this character over a year ago and I never thought anything about it. I Was confident in my sexuality, and just thought she was aesthetically pleasing. Going to now and I felt this “pull” towards her honestly. I definitely overthought and was like “what if you like this girl?” “What does it mean?” “Well she’s fictional so it doesn’t matter right?” “Are you Bi because you have a crush on a woman?” Basically, I felt like I had a crush on this character and I’m overthinking if it’s just an aesthetic crush or something else. Now I overthink about scenarios with her and if I’d actually like her to kiss me and would I be into that? I’ll admit I definitely sort of fell into the google/validation rabbit hole. I have this fear on what if I’m actually Bi or secretly into women all of a sudden. I don’t want to be attracted to women or do anything sexual with them. I’ve always been pretty comfortable in knowing I’m straight. However, this month has really made me feel like I’m not completely straight and I have to sort of “come out” about it.

Jake T

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Classic ocd haha. Good news is I think this is a simple thing. Do not be afraid of feelings. I questioned if I was gay for 4 years because of OCD but turns out in bi TADA! It really does not matter that's the beauty of sexuality and love it has no rules or things you have to follow. Know that you can be anything don't try to identify perfectly in a bucket instead be you and what makes you happy. If that means you find a woman attractive then find a woman attractive! It doesnt mean you have to go have sex with them on the spot. Second trust your actions have you done anything to physically show your attraction to women? This helps me a lot to determine what I want.

Jake T

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 That's my point. You may or you may not. There is nothing wrong with either. When you accept that you will be you which is way better than worrying about what sexuality you are. At the end of the day you are you and buckets are just words.

Jake T

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 Just like thoughs are just thoughts you may be straight. The point is there is no way to know. You have to do what just makes you happy. My girlfriend who is straight as a arrow and doesn't have OCD was looking at girls up and down the whole time at the concert we went to last night, because she felt there butts looked nice haha! Being confident in your sexuality isn't saying your straight or gay or bi it's being comfortable with you.

Jake T

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 Why? There is nothing wrong with it. Especially in today's society you can be you. If you don't like women and only want to be with men then do that. My point with all of this is take a step back. Look at do these thoughts really matter or am I making them matter cause I'm scared.

Jake T

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 Don't apologize at all this is the process :) I felt straight for 19 years and OCD thought I was gay 4 years and then after I let go of the fear found that I like both and thats what I do now. But I am in a committed happy long term relationship with my girlfriend who is straight and accepts me as I am. I plan to have kids with her and very long future. Your sexuality is not something to be afraid of it's you it's the same as seeing a the color blue and saying I like that. Then seeing the color red and going oh no do I like the color red??? Maybe you do or maybe you don't the point is not to be afraid of it.

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 - Man, that was really triggering, I'm just so done for today

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

What things did you do physically that show your atraction to man?

LovingLaura

Date posted: 1y

@banana142 I became TRIGGERED. My theme is being bisexual and I’m at the point in my life where I’m like “Well, heck, maybe I am.” Even though I did identify as bisexual first.

LovingLaura

Date posted: 1y

@Nicolas:) 😂 Lol! That was me like!🫠

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

@LovingLaura - I'm still trigger, I'm starting to feel like the false atraction I have now, it's really not anxiety induce, like I didn't have them before outside the intrusive thoughs I had from when I was 13, like for example, from 5 to 13 I liked girls withouth questioning, never had a crush on a dude or anything, then when I was 13 I had an intrusive thoughs "What if Im gay" and then "Maybe you like that guy" and a face show up of a guy who seem odd to me and the more anxious I got the more "atraction" I felt, but then I just imagine naked dudes and was like, okay I don't like, then I imagine that same guy naked, and I was like, and definetly not into that, so after that I felt relieve, and the rest of the year I didn't had another though, I even spoke with that guy normally withouth feeling like I was crushing or anything, he still seem odd tho, but he was metrosexual, he told me later and explain to me what that was and then I stopped thinking he was weird. After that during my 14's I didn't had any trigger that I can remenber and I didn't felt atraction to any dude, at 15 I had two triggers, there were two dudes that came close to my face and I though I would lose control and kissed them and I was unconfortable, but then again, after the moment past I talk to them normaly and just didn't felt any "crush" or anything like that, then at 16 I had one more trigger cause I though a guy looked like an actor, but then I started to feel like I was into the guy who looked like an actor, and then I calmed down cause checking whatsapp I saw a pic of a friend of mine and I was like, damn she's hot, and I was like, yeah, what ever was with that dude, it's not the same thing, after that pandemic hit, no particular triggers I can't remenber, except one night I was thinking about this stuff, out of the blue, and I though I had "something" hidden inside me cause all the past stuff I just said so I decided to "come out" and I was like, okay I'm bi, but 20min later I just got the intrusive thoughs again saying I was gay, and stuff, and a year after that I was using a hot girl as reassurance I wasn't gay, but then I though, you could be bi though, and the I started fearing that, for a while after that, I even got to the point were I was sure I wasn't bi either, but my brain said I had to be somewhat gay, cause I couldn' believe that during all of those 4 years that false atraction was false, and trust me, I felt it every day like to 25 different dudes, in my class, on tv shows, at this point I barely watch anything cause there are triggers everywhere, anyway I wasn't confortable with "somewhat" gay either, but eventually I came back here fearing I'm bi, I don't even remenber what particular though set of this obssesion again

Pogoshow

Date posted: 15w

SOOCD

I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments

polish_germa...

Date posted: 15w

I’m scared I might be more sexually attracted to women and more romantically to men

Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.

wynolove

Date posted: 13w

Help me ?!? (Cocsa)

I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!

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Crushing on same sex character?

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