I really don’t like it when OCD ruins excitement. Excitement is usually a rare feeling for me , but it feels like I’m walking on ice, trying not to let ocd “ruin” my excitement. 🙃
I relate to you, you arnt alone. Emotions are meant to be felt and life is full of all different ones, right? Something that has helped me is that when I feel super bad about a “possibility” or “intrusive thoughts” I challenge myself to give the same amount of attention to a thought that is positive and happy. You deserve to feel excited for a moment even if that means ocd will take it away. I hope you can find balance ❤️
Maybe you will have one maybe you won't. Thinking and focusing on the feeling is what makes it more powerful and persistent. I know it's hard but try not to care because the reality is that even if you do have one it doesn't matter! It's just a lil thought and then it can go away with practice. I went to a concert last night and was terrified of having ocd thoughts. TADA I had OCD thoughs.... But I felt maybe yes maybe no and let it go just as it came and a lil later I was back to enjoying the music! I had so much fun last night it was amazing! What helped me the most is accepting that I will have more OCD thoughs forever just like literally every other human haha. They just don't have to matter we make them matter.
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
That feeling of "incompleteness" or that something isn’t quite right can be unbearable. What’s one daily task that OCD makes harder because it never feels 'just right'?
I hate how I have to avoid everything or I can't even think or enjoy using my imagination to create stuff in my head ranging from characters, stories, ideas or playing stories or movies in my head to play around with my characters and stuff like that or things like that and I really hate how I have to avoid doing that because of the OCD and it's frustrating not being able to enjoy the stuff that I want to enjoy cuz it feels like I have to avoid everything that I want to think about or enjoy. And I recently discovered for myself after watching one of the NOCD videos on their YouTube channel that I have pure o OCD and also explains how I have a hard time thinking that makes it even harder wanting to enjoy the stuff. I want to think I want to play with my imagination and working on my characters and things like that I'm avoiding having any more of what I have left being tainted by the OCD and the fact that I don't want people I no longer associate with in of having the OCD tainting the creations I want to create in my head with my imagination and what not. It's getting really annoying and frustrating with how much I have to avoid everything that I want to think about and enjoy in my head it feels like the pent up feeling is becoming more and more and more stress ing the more I have to avoid stuff just to protect what I have left from the OCD and I don't know how to deal with this and it doesn't help. I'm trying to save watching YouTube videos and stuff like that for later when I finally get my own place when when I'm free from everything I'm trying to get away from so I can enjoy everything I've been wanting to enjoy if I've been holding out on from videos, animations and things like that to make what it is. I want to enjoy more precious and meaningful and don't want have bad experiences with everything I'm dealing with right now in life ruining those experiences
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