I really don’t like it when OCD ruins excitement. Excitement is usually a rare feeling for me , but it feels like I’m walking on ice, trying not to let ocd “ruin” my excitement. 🙃
I relate to you, you arnt alone. Emotions are meant to be felt and life is full of all different ones, right? Something that has helped me is that when I feel super bad about a “possibility” or “intrusive thoughts” I challenge myself to give the same amount of attention to a thought that is positive and happy. You deserve to feel excited for a moment even if that means ocd will take it away. I hope you can find balance ❤️
Maybe you will have one maybe you won't. Thinking and focusing on the feeling is what makes it more powerful and persistent. I know it's hard but try not to care because the reality is that even if you do have one it doesn't matter! It's just a lil thought and then it can go away with practice. I went to a concert last night and was terrified of having ocd thoughts. TADA I had OCD thoughs.... But I felt maybe yes maybe no and let it go just as it came and a lil later I was back to enjoying the music! I had so much fun last night it was amazing! What helped me the most is accepting that I will have more OCD thoughs forever just like literally every other human haha. They just don't have to matter we make them matter.
The things that used to make me happy? The things that used to make me sad? I don't know how to connect with those anymore. I used to be happy just looking at the sunset and nature, I loved being present in the moment but now being present in the moment is scary because now I'm faced with my thoughts and new potential ones so I'd rather distract myself. I love kballads and I used to listen to them and just cry and be happy because they sound so beautiful but now I can't embrace these things that feel like beauty because I feel like the exact opposite. The only things I can enjoy are K-drama's! But I can't watch things with kids in it. So yah that's tricky! And the things that make me sad?! Well I used to be sad and terrified about loosing my loved ones but now it's a different kind of sad. I used to be sad because of miss them and all that but now I'm scared of facing now messed up my emotions have become. I'm scared of loosing someone I love and then not being able to feel sad because I'm just numb, or even worse...if it becomes something I'm okay with or what if OCD convinces me that I'm happy about it because honestly it would be weird moving around the world with such emotions. So not only has OCD made it hard for me to enjoy the good things but also hard for me to feel sad about the sad things or just to put it short...to experience emotions normally.
I hate how ocd targets everything I love to do. Walking, excercising, gym… I used to love those things. It was my therapy. It were the things I could escape my thinking. Now those are the things i get stuck in my head. Why? It makes me sad. Sorry not so positive today.
With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.
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