I just read someone who had hocd and he realize he was bi, and the worst is he said he was straight for 19 years, right now I feel I identify, and I feel like I'm about to have an "honest conversation" with myself
Hey ! Everything is going to be ok! Its scary I know. Maybe you can talk to a therapist if you can afford? I don't really know about this theme , so I can't give you a good advice, just that can make everything feel very real . You are not alone .I also recommend you to watch Chrissie Hodges.
I'll try, but after what that guy said, I just feel that I'm like him
Well , I realised at 14... and yeah you can realise later.. But you can have ocd . If its triggering for you I think its ocd. Anyway a therapist can tell the best . Also I hope this is isnt triggering for you .
No don't worry about it, 14 seems just fine ig, idk, I just want to go back to how things were before, I'm just so tired, but then I start thinking that maybe I'm tired cause I resist or smth like that
I think is the best to talk to a therapist . Meanwhile , try doing something you like. Listen to music , read , idk anything you like . I am sorry that I cant give you a good advice. Take care and remember you are not alone
Thank you, don't worry about it, it's just that I don't want this, but I'm scared that if I go to terapy I'll realize that it's all true
@Nicolas:) I get it.This happens to me too but I have other themes
@Mitu_001 Would you tell me what themes? If you don't mind?
Maybe these can help
Thank you so much, and I just want to clarify, I have nothing againts the comunity, if you ever need my help in a fight I'm gonna be there, but that's just not how I wanna live
Thank you very much too!
I used to have a friend. He was my best friend. When we were together,we would do the usual thing two guys who were really into each other would do. Talk about girls and money all the time. I admired the guy. When we first met we would "hunt",meaning we liked to hook up with girls and take their contact.As a nervous wreck,this helped me alot in getting better at my game.I was a bit insecure but hid it well because i was jealous of the dude secretly( He was a bigger dude than me)I only started taking cannabis recently and there was something my guy did that really took a toll on my mind. Before he did it,my overactive imagination would think too deeply on if i could trust him or not because there was something i had to pay for which he was going to be the one i sent the money too. My instincts ran wild on if i could trust him whenever i snuffed the green crop. Then i was very new to it and always had a wild superstitious mind about weed being a cosmic gift( Newbie stuff ) although,i still think it's still. I might be going out of context but he stole from me and and the smoke caused me to really overcomplicate the whole situation in my head. Maybe i was overthinking it,maybe i was not,but i ended up telling myself "I am gay."
I never had any sexual fantasies about my guy though when we were together.He became my best friend and all that really muttered in my head back then was just really admiring the dude. Sometimes i feel like my OCD takes my back to that moment i made that thought as fuel create even more triggers,making me even think i was "in love" with the guy. I checked time and time again and i just really admired my guy.
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Yeah I know, but that's the only thing I think about, and even when I'm not arguing I "feel" bi
Harm ocd , pocd ...
Also I am gay and I think I have intrusive thoughts about men :)
It disgust me like I dont want to have them .. Idk if it is like hocd..
Maybe, but it's not obssesive so that's good
Like it's just triggering for me, cause most people I know knew their sexuality on an early age, and as far as I know, when I was 10-12 I only ever had crushes on girls, just like gay people had crushes on the same sex or like bi people felt for both idk, but when I hear a story of people finding out later in life, like this guy, specially cause he said he had OCD, it just makes me think that's just what's happening to me
I feel the same! Ocd is very hard and I also feel very tired because of it .
Yeah I know it's exhausting, I mean, even people on denial get a break, Ig my only "reassurance" is that guy fear just being gay, so tecnically his fear didnt came truth, cause he's not, but I do fear being bi
I feel the same way. I try to tell myself that maybe i am bi,but something in me does not agree. It sounds fake when i think about it because it makes my feel as though i can only be of just one sexuality as a man and that is were my confusion comes in. I don't know if men attract me but i only really get excited with women when my head is cool. Mine got so bad once that i could not get within the same radius with a dude and i think that was because i was daring myself not to feel anxious only to feel even more anxious. I was always okay with the LGBT community but now i can barely look anyone from there in the eye or get close to them.
Idk man, in my case I feel like it's trully me, allthough I do remenber a time were I said I was bi and felt false
Is hard... You can doubt very much , but if you said it felt false...
Yeah it felt false then but it feels real now, that's kind of the issue
I know don't worry ! It's a fear ! I am sorry and dont ever feel guilty because of this, ok? You deserve peace
And you are not a bad person
Thank you, I just don't even remenber when I developed the fear, but I do know I never had fantazies of being with guys, and 0 sexual atraction either
@Nicolas:) It means you are not in denial! If you feel better I always was attracted do women but I haven't realised . I thought that everyone was thinking that lol :)
@Mitu_001 to*
@Mitu_001 I see, well I really don't recall having feelings for men, before My intrusive thoughs but the feelings I did had after felt so real and sometimes I wasnt even anxious
@Nicolas:) Maybe because you get used to them
@Mitu_001 Sorry for not responding anymore I fell asleep
@Mitu_001 Don't worry, You are good, You are a really nice person
@Nicolas:) Thanks! How are you feeling?
@Mitu_001 A little bit of the same, I oppened ny eyes ane I just felt bi
@Nicolas:) Oh .. This happens to me too.. like when I open my eyes I just get intrusive thoughts :,)
I do not have this type of OCD but usually when you’re afraid of something with ocd that means you very much don’t want that something.  OCD is not necessarily your true feelings.  Whatever you want to be sexually straight or what not is what you’ll continue being as Ocd doesn’t change you. What sex your personally attractive to is a personal decision that you make not your OCD. OCD will not make you change your sex attraction ,just like OCD for me does not make me more violent because I have harm OCD, It just makes me afraid of that subject. I highly recommend instead of worrying about your OCD is real or not ,treating your OCD like OCD and figuring out what is the best way to treat your OCD so that you can get back to what is important to you with your life and not have OCD keep bothering you. I’ve struggled with this myself, but I really do believe the best thing to do is not treat your OCD like it’s real. I just treat it like a fear disorder and get it taken care of,It is not part of who you are as a person. Please stay strong and work on treating your OCD.
Yeah but it's confusing, cause sometimes I feel reassure, some other times I feel is real, and lately I been feeling like I would be okay with it
@Nicolas:) For OCD it’s normal to feel anxious if it’s real, and to have feelings of worried that you’d be OK with it.  If you were really OK with it . you would not have made a post about it so it’s clearly causing you some kind of anxiety.  I’m sorry that it causes you anxiety. I hope you’re able to find some relief soon.
How does your harm OCD feel to you. I still don't understand it and that i would say is just how any OCD would seem to those who do not have it. I am still very attracted to women. Even more,i think,because i compulsively tried to always look at women anytime i became triggered to reassure myself of my sexuality. And i think talking about this is really therapeutic for me because i have had no one to talk to on what has been going on in my head.
@Anonymous I’m doing a lot better with hurm ocd but harm ocd makes you worried that you’re secretly turning into a psychopath and that you actually want to hurt people when you do not. What you’re talking about is sexuality OCD where you’re afraid that your sexuality is changing or will change. Well, they’re both not the same obsession. They both are obsessions based on fear were then you go, and do compulsions. For example, every time you get triggered by your OCD, and immediately go look at a woman to prove to yourself that you’re not changing your sexuality that is  a self reassurance compulsion.  I highly recommend looking up how to treat OCD and learning about exposure response with OCD, and how not to do compulsions. Treating OCD is really hard and takes a long time but oh my gosh I cannot explain to you the relieve you feel ,when you’re OCD symptoms Significantly decrease. I hope this was helpful and I hope you’re able to get relief soon. OCD is truly terrible and stressful.
@Brooke cookie Self reassurance compulsion. Thank you for educating me on what it was. I have been doing the opposite lately. I have no way to afford an ERP therapy at the moment but i will do so.
@Anonymous I understand I highly recommend looking it up on YouTube. There are a lot of psychiatrist that give pretty decent advice on there for OCD. The guy that I like the best is his channels name is OCD and anxiety.  He’s an OCD specialist therapist and I feel like his videos are pretty and lightning and very helpful.
@Brooke cookie Thank you. I got alot more education from talking with you alone. I hope you have been doing the necessary treatments over yours. Living with anything that distresses the mind like OCD that prevents one from functioning properly is not sweet. I hope you get well and i will do my own to get better. Time and time again,our anxiety and thoughts cools off making us rethink those thoughts,confirming that this is an actual problem and not a joke. Thank you for listening to me.
@Brooke cookie You seem to be well aware of the condition. I have been curious as to how to reduce a self reasurance compulsion like mine
@Jethro. Mental compulsions are pretty hard actually but for me, I’m try to sit with the uncertainty and when I do accidentally do self insurance, I try to undo self insurance by saying maybe maybe not and just let myself except that I’m having the thought sometimes I can succeed sometimes I can’t lately. I’ve been doing pretty good with it. I hope that was helpful. You kind of are trying to get to a point where you don’t react to the thought at all but it’s kind of hard to do and take some time so be patient with yourself and just keep trying to work on it.
I am sorry if i shared too much information,but as a person who has been having this thoughts for some time while having no idea what it was and only trying to use videos of manifesting your thoughts into reality as an excape,i am glad i can be able to talk about it in a way were i can be less ashamed.
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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