MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

Harm OCD vs Depression

Ive been in treatment for OCD off and on for 2 or 3 years now. Ive been finding myself in a “flare up” after moving and changing jobs. My biggest thorn/theme has been harm, specifically suicide. Just from having gone through this before, I know the line between what’s ocd and what’s truly being suicidal can be blurry. I’ve had people tell me that the intrusive thoughts of death can be OCD or it can be depression. Forever I’ve operated with the belief it’s OCD with sprinkles of depression (who wouldn’t be dealing with this) I guess my worry is that if this is what being suicidal is, I need help, bad. I can tell myself it’s OCD all day, but being it’s the doubting disorder, I ask “what if I’m lying and want to die?” I want this certainty that I’m not truly suicidal and it’s just these unwanted thought. Is it even possible to have that certainty? How can do tell the difference between the two?

Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

I was reading something recently and apparently we all want to die a little. It's the biggest form of certainty seeking for humans. The suffering ends etc. We all suffer in at least one form or another. That's part of life and how we grow. We wouldn't grow outside of comfort zones of childhood without it. Accept it as a part of life. We will always have issues and that's OK. Deal with your stressors the best you can, even a little bit at a time. Find out who you want to be and figure out how to attain that. Not for others, but for yourself. Work your way back from your goal. It is also very possible to have both. I was depressed and had harm ocd in my teen years. The depression carried on for 5 years after the theme passed until I got cbt

kaio16

Date posted: 40w ago

how are you doing now?

Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

@kaio16 Me?

kaio16

Date posted: 40w ago

@Wolfram - yeah

Wolfram

Date posted: 40w ago

@Wolfram Ocd doesn't bother me any more. No depression for years either.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

I have been struggling with this as well. I have always had harm OCD and I’m doing a lot better with that one but I relapsed recently because I got depressed and then I developed the suicidal OCD were you are afraid you want to hurt yourself. How I know it’s OCD is because it’s hurting someone because for me I know that that means it’s OCD if it has a harm theme. Also if it’s hurting someone I don’t want to hurt which would be myself that also means is OCD. I also feel huge Need to get rid of the uncertainty and do compulsion switch means is OCD. Ocd really sucks it’s like because you’re developed a higher depression, You’re worried that that makes you suicidal. Keep working on treating your OCD and you should slowly get better like I am from doing that. I’m sorry you’re also going through this stay strong.

MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

@Brooke cookie I appreciate that. And yeah I’ve been through something like this before, just with every “relapse” you tend to forget or not trust you’ve been through this before. I wonder “wait is it true desire this time? Is this the time I do it?” I read somewhere that having ocd is working through it, forgetting you have it, just to have it come back

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

@MattWalters OCD can make you feel like you’re trapped in a cycle . You kinda have treat your ocd correctly getting to a point where it doesn’t bother you anymore is really hard takes a lot of work. I’ve done that with other things of OCD but this one seems to be really hard for me to get over. It’s really hard but I highly recommend trying to learn how to treat your OCD better because otherwise, it’s really is like you’re just stuck in this big loop. OCD is really tricky and it finds ways to pull you back in. Almost like this bully that lives in your head and it really wants your attention. I’m trying to learn new ways to handle OCD so it quits pulling me back in. ocd is really frustrating , I hope you start to feel some relief soon.

confused writer

Date posted: 40w ago

I’m in the same place and I think I have a little bit of both. I’m in therapy so I have a therapist who sees my once or twice a week, makes me feel safer. I feel like I need help badly, so I know how u r feeling. Do you see a therapist?

MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

@confused writer Not lately, just because I’ve moved and there’s the whole coverage and licensing in states thing. But I am in the process of getting lined up with another one

kaio16

Date posted: 40w ago

if it makes you doubt, its ocd

marcygirl23

Date posted: 28w ago

How are you now? Really struggling with my suicidal ocd

carol.xxx

Date posted: 25w ago

HARM OCD please reply ♥️🤞🏼

I am really struggling with harm ocd. ( The fear of hurting others) My ocd is very tough to combat at the minute. I feel like i’m having intrusive thoughts every minute of every single day. Except from when Im distracted. I feel guilty and foul for the thoughts. I have this strong intrusive feeling that feels impulsive, as if i’m about to act on a thought. It almost feels like I want to. But I really don’t and i’m so scared this isn’t normal. I keep thinking. “What if this isn’t OCD” “What if i did that” and it’s really worrying me as it feels relentless and as if I’m about to do it. In my head chest wrists. I feel tired of this. I don’t know much about compulsions etc but i find myself - Asking my bf if he gets intrusive thoughts like me. Asking him if he actually does and asking repeatedly. - I ask him over and over again and check if he definitely does. - I will literally try to fight the thoughts by kind of saying “ as if i’m not that type of person” Then saying everything will be okay to myself. Please can someone tell me if this is normal. Yes I may be looking for reassurance but i need to know if it is, Im scared, i’m crying. Please tell me if you’ve had this feeling of as if you’re about to do it!

Harm OCD

Callista Moore

Date posted: 13w ago

What is this?

This might be asking for reassurance but I’m at a point I’m not sure if this is ocd and who better to ask than you guys. Also want to mention I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with ocd and I’ve tried to seek therapy through NOCD but had a bad experience so I’m just looking for an opinion I’ll take with a grain of salt. I’ve been through bouts of pocd that I got through but now it’s morphed into something that feels so different. It’s like harm ocd and pocd together and it revolves around my daughter. Before this happened I was a loving mother who valued my kid more than anything. Now this is happening and it feels so sinister. I’m getting urges to do something bad and I get these feelings like I want to do that and it’s like my brain gets foggy and my values slip away and I feel like I could do it. But then I get a moment of clarity and I’m like wait a minute I’ve never hurt anyone in my life nor have I ever thought about it and this is my child what is happening. But then I get that foggy brain again and it’s like I can’t see her as my child. I try to sit with it and it’s like I get this adrenaline rush and feel like I have to do it. But I know I don’t want to do that, but then it’s like trying to make me want to want to. I’m not sure if I’m just lacking insight and clarity because I’m overwhelmed with the groinals, urges, thoughts and feelings but I just keep obsessing over the fact that death is my only way out. I don’t understand what happened to me. It feels like this demonic oppression and I don’t know how to get through this one or if this is still something I can get through because it might not be ocd. I try to go with the thoughts and feelings and say yeah maybe, maybe not, or yeah I’m going to do that but it seems to fuel the feelings. I feel like I’m teetering between the person I was and this evil awful person who has no regard for others. I don’t want to be around my daughter and I’m just angry all the time. The fear and anxiety used to be something I relied on and I feel none of that now. I used to be able to say “well no matter what I feel or think I can control my actions” and now it feels like I cannot control my actions but I’ve never hurt anyone before. Someone please give it to me straight and tell me if you think this might not be ocd.

Holl1

Date posted: 5w ago

Can ocd mimic depression

Can OCD mimic depression? With this theme I’m always wondering if I have OCD or depression. It first started out as harm OCD and now this. Today I told myself if I did have depression then it’s treatable and I would work on it. Then I started to feel depressed and emotional and like had an urge to google the difference. When I did this I just broke down because I felt like I related to them, it made me worse. However when I look up OCD symptoms it makes me feel better. So now I’m unsure. Almost like OCD wants me to believe it’s depression

Suicidal OCD

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Harm OCD vs Depression

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