MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

Harm OCD vs Depression

Ive been in treatment for OCD off and on for 2 or 3 years now. Ive been finding myself in a “flare up” after moving and changing jobs. My biggest thorn/theme has been harm, specifically suicide. Just from having gone through this before, I know the line between what’s ocd and what’s truly being suicidal can be blurry. I’ve had people tell me that the intrusive thoughts of death can be OCD or it can be depression. Forever I’ve operated with the belief it’s OCD with sprinkles of depression (who wouldn’t be dealing with this) I guess my worry is that if this is what being suicidal is, I need help, bad. I can tell myself it’s OCD all day, but being it’s the doubting disorder, I ask “what if I’m lying and want to die?” I want this certainty that I’m not truly suicidal and it’s just these unwanted thought. Is it even possible to have that certainty? How can do tell the difference between the two?

Wolfram

Date posted: 43w ago

I was reading something recently and apparently we all want to die a little. It's the biggest form of certainty seeking for humans. The suffering ends etc. We all suffer in at least one form or another. That's part of life and how we grow. We wouldn't grow outside of comfort zones of childhood without it. Accept it as a part of life. We will always have issues and that's OK. Deal with your stressors the best you can, even a little bit at a time. Find out who you want to be and figure out how to attain that. Not for others, but for yourself. Work your way back from your goal. It is also very possible to have both. I was depressed and had harm ocd in my teen years. The depression carried on for 5 years after the theme passed until I got cbt

kaio16

Date posted: 43w ago

how are you doing now?

Wolfram

Date posted: 43w ago

@kaio16 Me?

kaio16

Date posted: 43w ago

@Wolfram - yeah

Wolfram

Date posted: 43w ago

@Wolfram Ocd doesn't bother me any more. No depression for years either.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

I have been struggling with this as well. I have always had harm OCD and I’m doing a lot better with that one but I relapsed recently because I got depressed and then I developed the suicidal OCD were you are afraid you want to hurt yourself. How I know it’s OCD is because it’s hurting someone because for me I know that that means it’s OCD if it has a harm theme. Also if it’s hurting someone I don’t want to hurt which would be myself that also means is OCD. I also feel huge Need to get rid of the uncertainty and do compulsion switch means is OCD. Ocd really sucks it’s like because you’re developed a higher depression, You’re worried that that makes you suicidal. Keep working on treating your OCD and you should slowly get better like I am from doing that. I’m sorry you’re also going through this stay strong.

MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@Brooke cookie I appreciate that. And yeah I’ve been through something like this before, just with every “relapse” you tend to forget or not trust you’ve been through this before. I wonder “wait is it true desire this time? Is this the time I do it?” I read somewhere that having ocd is working through it, forgetting you have it, just to have it come back

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@MattWalters OCD can make you feel like you’re trapped in a cycle . You kinda have treat your ocd correctly getting to a point where it doesn’t bother you anymore is really hard takes a lot of work. I’ve done that with other things of OCD but this one seems to be really hard for me to get over. It’s really hard but I highly recommend trying to learn how to treat your OCD better because otherwise, it’s really is like you’re just stuck in this big loop. OCD is really tricky and it finds ways to pull you back in. Almost like this bully that lives in your head and it really wants your attention. I’m trying to learn new ways to handle OCD so it quits pulling me back in. ocd is really frustrating , I hope you start to feel some relief soon.

confused writer

Date posted: 43w ago

I’m in the same place and I think I have a little bit of both. I’m in therapy so I have a therapist who sees my once or twice a week, makes me feel safer. I feel like I need help badly, so I know how u r feeling. Do you see a therapist?

MattWalters

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@confused writer Not lately, just because I’ve moved and there’s the whole coverage and licensing in states thing. But I am in the process of getting lined up with another one

kaio16

Date posted: 43w ago

if it makes you doubt, its ocd

marcygirl23

Date posted: 32w ago

How are you now? Really struggling with my suicidal ocd

cows12465

Date posted: 19w ago

please help me

can someone with this theme help me i’m so scared and i can’t stop having panic attacks is this OCD??? So i always have struggled most with sucicidal ocd and harm ocd. i never really had any other themes. but recently ive struggled with SOOCD. My whole life i have never EVER been into girls ever and i could never even think of ever being with a girl in my entire life. i’m having extreme amounts of anxiety and i have compulsions to make sure i look at a girl and don’t feel anything towards them or anything. My mind is literally going “what if your just in denial” or “what if you’ve just been hiding it all these years” When i know i haven’t. i have all of the symptoms of SOOCD and i still know that im not gay,but these thoughts are extremely distressing and have been the worse to deal with. I’m constantly panicking and doing compulsions to get these thoughts to leave and they won’t. i’m scared and these thoughts are making my mind scared. What if i’m going against my morals and i’m lying to myself like and i just went through a tough breakup too so that is shooting these thoughts and anxiety. Please help omg!!!

Holl1

Date posted: 9w ago

Can ocd mimic depression

Can OCD mimic depression? With this theme I’m always wondering if I have OCD or depression. It first started out as harm OCD and now this. Today I told myself if I did have depression then it’s treatable and I would work on it. Then I started to feel depressed and emotional and like had an urge to google the difference. When I did this I just broke down because I felt like I related to them, it made me worse. However when I look up OCD symptoms it makes me feel better. So now I’m unsure. Almost like OCD wants me to believe it’s depression

Suicidal OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w ago

Newbie and mama searching for help

Hey all, This is so strange to share this, and I have been judged by others and misdiagnosed many times. About a year ago I worked with an OCD therapist and it was really triggering. For me my thoughts are mainly about suicidal ocd and harm ocd centered around my children of all things. Fear that I could or would want to hurt them, then feeling so horrible that I believe I’m suicidal then I go back and forth on that. After reading a few of your posts, it makes me truly have a bit of hope that I can overcome this.

Suicidal OCD

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