- Date posted
- 1y
Bad Feeling
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
I don’t know if this will help, but I’ve been doing some IFS (Internal Family Systems) work with my therapist. And even before we got into it, this one concept really helped me and maybe you can apply it. Basically in IFS, you have all these various parts and then a core Self. And when you are in Self, you feel: calm confident curious clear courageous content creative consistent connected compassionate When I have an “inner knowing,” I’m in a clear, calm state of mind. I might be scared about following through on what I need to do, but I’m not in a fearful state. If it’s “ocd lies,” I’m anxious, afraid, unsettled, unwell. I’m not myself. It does get tricky though because I’ve been super anxious and upset about a topic and it seems like it’s just OCD, but then a therapist asked me a clarifying question and I thought, “Oh. That sounds like truth.” And it felt like clarity. So for me, sometimes the knowing was almost imbedded in the rumination and fear, but someone else’s words helped me clear away all the noise. Yeah, my knowing is not noisy. It’s a clear tone. Who knows if any of that will work for you, but it’s been an interesting exercise to think about. Hope you find some clarity.
Just sit with it, you can never really know I think that if you don’t want to be with someone for a certain period of time (at your discretion) it means something is off. I felt like I wanted to be alone sometimes in a relationship and was worried that meant I didn’t like my girlfriend, but I still wanted to see her in at least a day so I knew I wanted to be with her no matter what my mind said.
You don’t. That’s the trouble with ROCD.
@UncertainOtter104 I think we can learn. I mean, that’s the hope, isn’t it?
@JediMJ I’m not saying there isn’t hope. I’m encouraging the uncertainty.
It’s OCD
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
I am scared the relationship i am in is karmic and i am just scared like its for lessons as it matches with everything that is said..how do i know that it will work and the feeling of it not working with every fight weakening us more than strengthen cause we were never meant to be and should have called it off a while ago after the first few good times cause then we got attached and are dragging it? and i feel it just cant be like intuition wise and if intuition what else can be questioned cause if so and i know breakup not meant to be very different want different things cant change and dragging as i said above and if i know and feel it is not going to work no matter how much we try after fight cause we just are incompatible fundamentally then it is so and idk what we are doing as i feel numb and dissociated and sooner or later will break-up cause not meant to be and is just stretching cause of habit…and none of this is ocd but actually coming up from actual relationship problems so it cant be ocd but the wrong relationship…
Does anyone ever feel like you know you have OCD, but at the same time you think it might actually be you connecting to a higher consciousness or vibration that is trying to control your decisions so that the outcome does not turn out bad kind of like the butterfly effect. It drives me crazy because I know I’m conscious that it’s OCD but at the same time I overthink and feel like it might be a higher power trying to warn me that I’m not doing something right, like example; if I flip the trash can lid a couple more times it’s going to pervert something bad from happening and that why I’m sensing I’m not doing it right, because if I spent a little more time there and if I would have left earlier the outcome would’ve been different. Or say I just fight through it and choose to ignore it, but then I’ll carry that negativity/worry of not feeling like I did it right and will project it out into existence because the thought won’t leave my head and in a way your seeking it out into existence since you keep thinking about it, kind of like an affirmation?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond