- Date posted
- 39w ago
Bad Feeling
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
I don’t know if this will help, but I’ve been doing some IFS (Internal Family Systems) work with my therapist. And even before we got into it, this one concept really helped me and maybe you can apply it. Basically in IFS, you have all these various parts and then a core Self. And when you are in Self, you feel: calm confident curious clear courageous content creative consistent connected compassionate When I have an “inner knowing,” I’m in a clear, calm state of mind. I might be scared about following through on what I need to do, but I’m not in a fearful state. If it’s “ocd lies,” I’m anxious, afraid, unsettled, unwell. I’m not myself. It does get tricky though because I’ve been super anxious and upset about a topic and it seems like it’s just OCD, but then a therapist asked me a clarifying question and I thought, “Oh. That sounds like truth.” And it felt like clarity. So for me, sometimes the knowing was almost imbedded in the rumination and fear, but someone else’s words helped me clear away all the noise. Yeah, my knowing is not noisy. It’s a clear tone. Who knows if any of that will work for you, but it’s been an interesting exercise to think about. Hope you find some clarity.
Just sit with it, you can never really know I think that if you don’t want to be with someone for a certain period of time (at your discretion) it means something is off. I felt like I wanted to be alone sometimes in a relationship and was worried that meant I didn’t like my girlfriend, but I still wanted to see her in at least a day so I knew I wanted to be with her no matter what my mind said.
You don’t. That’s the trouble with ROCD.
@UncertainOtter104 I think we can learn. I mean, that’s the hope, isn’t it?
@JediMJ I’m not saying there isn’t hope. I’m encouraging the uncertainty.
It’s OCD
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
Hey I feel like I just have this evil like whirring feeling of anxiety and like “something bad is gonna happen” and feeling you’re going to do things against God or like you already have I guess?
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond