Bad Feeling

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

Does anyone ever feel like you know you have OCD, but at the same time you think it might actually be you connecting to a higher consciousness or vibration that is trying to control your decisions so that the outcome does not turn out bad kind of like the butterfly effect. It drives me crazy because I know I’m conscious that it’s OCD but at the same time I overthink and feel like it might be a higher power trying to warn me that I’m not doing something right, like example; if I flip the trash can lid a couple more times it’s going to pervert something bad from happening and that why I’m sensing I’m not doing it right, because if I spent a little more time there and if I would have left earlier the outcome would’ve been different. Or say I just fight through it and choose to ignore it, but then I’ll carry that negativity/worry of not feeling like I did it right and will project it out into existence because the thought won’t leave my head and in a way your seeking it out into existence since you keep thinking about it, kind of like an affirmation?

I struggle to understand when a thought is an intuition or intrusive, especially with relationship OCD. My problem is I have a great intuition. There have been many times when I thought something that made me anxious, and said to myself “it’s only OCD”, but then that thought turned out to be true. But there have also been times when it turned out it was just OCD.