has anyone else got these thoughts i’m scared

i posted this before but i’m freaking out rn has anyone else ever gotten intrusive thoughts telling you that right and wrong doesn’t exist and stuff? like, i get thoughts saying “murder isn’t wrong” “SA isn’t wrong” and i feel the need to prove it wrong so i ruminate and i do a bunch of compulsions because my worst fear is becoming amoral.. on top of that, i get thoughts telling me i shouldn’t fear losing my morals bc “they don’t even exist and it’s stupid” which hurts me even MORE. i posted here last night, i suffered because of a philosophy video i watched that triggered me so bad, saying morals aren’t objective and.. even typing that sucks for me because i get nervous. i don’t want to believe these things. my mind tells me these things and THEN i get terrible harm thoughts about animals, my family, friends. it then tells me that those thoughts aren’t wrong and doin those things aren’t wrong. i’ve been in pain for months and it gets better but as soon as it does it gets worse. i’ve been hiding the true nature of my obsessions but i cant anymore because i feaR these thoughts.. i even didn’t tell my therapist because i’m embarrassed.. nobody else seems to have these thoughts and when they do, it’s a bad outcome. i don’t know what to do

ptoriole82

Date posted: 41w ago

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with this. This is a good example of things that many of us deal with, where something that might be a 'fun philosophical argument' for many people becomes a nightmare for those of us with OCD. I've had similar thoughts in the past, and while that has not been a presentation of my OCD in quite some time, it was definitely distressing. The irony of it is that, like so much of OCD, the fact that it disturbs you so much shows that you have a strong moral compass. If you didn't, it wouldn't upset you. As someone who works in the mental health field, I can promise you that many other people have these very same obsessive thoughts and fears, and I can also say that not one of them has ever gone on to become amoral or to go on to hurt someone. OCD will probably try to convince you that you may end up being the only one, but that's a tired old trick OCD has tried on many people, with a successful prediction rate of 0%, which it then says is proof that it's successful. You can try to fight it and convince yourself it's a liar (reassurance seeking, checking, etc.), which is what we want to do, or you can work to treat it like the noisy annoying guy at a party--just because he's loud doesn't mean he's right, so we can let him say his garbage while choosing to turn our attention to something else. It's not easy work, but it can very much help. There are actually a few books that deal directly with this type of OCD, including "overcoming harm OCD" by Jon Hershfield. I very much encourage you to talk to your therapist about it as well--OCD feeds on silence and shame, and your therapist will understand that this is OCD. You've got this!

freshpanda

Date posted: 41w ago

@ptoriole82 thank you for this comment 🙏 i’m just worried that even after i get over this, my values and morals will not be in tact. like im scared ill be a changed person and i wont be able to believe my values anymore.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 41w ago

My ocd tries to tell me the same thing, that my horrible and upsetting intrusive thoughts are okay and not immoral but I know they are not okay and are against my morals and that i’m not okay with it or I wouldn’t be so upset. The fact that you are so upset means you know morals exist and you have proper morals. Ocd latches on to your fears and the people you care about most. Ocd tries to make you believe you are the opposite of moral. Take a deep breath and just know this is all ocd messing with you.

catlover402

Date posted: 41w ago

I’m currently going through the exact same thing with the same thought process but for me , try to have deep security in yourself and who you are. The fact you’re feeling nervous is because it’s against your morals and you fear doing such things , don’t identify yourself with what the intrusive thoughts say and take a step back. Know you are always in control and it’s a side effect of the OCD. Don’t give them any value or meaning , I reccomend a youtube channel called OCD and anxiety. It helps a lot.

BeeCee87

Date posted: 16w ago

Intrusive thoughts Help.

I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.

nae nae

Date posted: 14w ago

I'm sorry. Just need to vent. :(

This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 12w ago

Intrusive thoughts during self pleasuring :/

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

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has anyone else got these thoughts i’m scared

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