Do your parents have OCD too? My mother definitely has it, and some themes I got from her. It’s brutal to have soocd since childhood, I never had those years when I could just live and love... Every crush, every feeling, sensation, glance and thought were always either for or against this theme. I don’t have this good times to go back to, all my relationships were a bit positioned by this doubt. I can’t help but blame my mom who was herself obsessing about her and my sexuality and knew no better than actually telling me all that crazy stuff...

Anyone else raised by a parent who has undiagnosed OCPD? I just discovered what the diagnosis is, and I am certain I had a caregiver as a child with it. It greatly shaped my OCD and why I have OCD in the first place. I’d love to hear your story and relationship to that person as a child and adult.

I have been diagnosed with OCD by a therapist on NOCD for about 4 years now. I went through therapy here and I was officially diagnosed. My mom knows about the diagnosis because I’ve pretty much told her all my struggles and unfortunately confessed a lot of what I was dealing with in the past. She was not understanding at first and told me there was no way I could have OCD that I don’t “clean and organize” like people she has worked with before or been around. I told her that I wanted to go through therapy at the time and she said no and really said some mean and hateful things. Eventually though she did start becoming understanding but not in the way you would think. My mom isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. So talking to her about everything was really hard to go through. Well getting into what’s bothering me….in the past I have thought maybe there was a possibility that I could have autism. I’ve seen people on TikTok talk about it and what they have experienced and it was similar to me but I pushed it aside and never talked about it with anyone. I do struggle with “misophonia” and my mom is also aware of that even though she doesn’t believe in it either and that I’m just “misdiagnosing” myself. Well today she randomly says “There’s a video I watched earlier that I think you should see. I think you have autism. I don’t think you have OCD. You were misdiagnosed and it’s your trauma that is making you think you have OCD.” And it really hit me the wrong way and was quite triggering. The things that I have put in my head and all the hate towards myself before I was diagnosed came back because I was starting to second guess myself. I told her you can have OCD and autism at the same time. There’s no way for me to know unless I’m diagnosed and she said you don’t need to be diagnosed you kind of just know or something like that. But it really put it in my head that I’m making the OCD symptoms up and what if I really was diagnosed and it confirms that I’m a “bad” person. Sometimes I wish I never told my mom anything. She has never really shown care or understanding towards how I have been feeling for years. Who knows, maybe I do have autism but I know for a fact I have OCD. I just hate she put it in my head that theres a possibility I’m an imposter and I’m really what my mind tells me I am. If anyone relates to this please reach out. I’m not really asking for reassurance I just don’t know if I should listen to my mom. Yes I’m an adult. I’m 26 and still live at home. Now that she thinks I have autism, is she going to use it against me too? This sucks so much 💔

I was wondering if this also happened to anyone. I grew up very open-minded and allowed myself to question my sexuality when I was younger. I explored feelings for both genders and attraction to them from afar, because I didn't have any friends or experiences to guide me through them. When I started dating, I was open to both but slowly and surely naturally phased out women. It always felt performative, like pretending to be upset they didn't respond, choosing who to be attracted to, and while present with them, wanting to back away or feeling a level of discomfort. When my SO-OCD started, these experiences made it very difficult to navigate the anxieties and intrusive thoughts. My thoughts often circled back to the idea that if I wasn't attracted to women, I wouldn't have tried to in the first place. This type of thought is like a Catch-22. On one hand, I am surveying my past actions or memories for any signs of true attraction or trying to pick at moments where I could prove that I was actually uncomfortable. On the other hand, the thought of being uncomfortable with a moment is tainted in my brain because of the idea that I could just be in denial. Any emotion I've ever had gets scrutinized in hindsight, making it feel like any way in which I feel is wrong. SO-OCD has been particularly difficult because of the fact that I've never been pejorative towards being queer or the LGBTQ+ community. It goes against my own values whether or not I am actually queer or actually straight. I remember growing up in an environment (whether school, family, or friends) that was always lined with prejudice towards any type of outsider - OCD makes me feel ashamed for my own want to understand any group or background different from my own. Essentially, I wanted to know if that's also something that plagues others with SO-OCD. For me, no matter what side of the fence I fall on my OCD rewrites it as bad: Either I'm in denial and lying to everyone even though they already secretly know, or I'm a homophobe. Sometimes they even mix. It doesn't make any sense.