Agoraphobia

I had a significant severe agoraphobia relapse a month ago and have been on leave from work since. I have been staying with my family and have not gone home alone. I feel so defeated that at all my progress is gone. It’s been so hard to do ERP and back to being terrified and overly sensitized of everything. I’ve been so down and emotionally and physically drained. Anyone have any supportive comments or experience to share? Not much is talked about regarding agoraphobia here. (I do agoraphobia and OCD treatment at NOCD and this is not reflection of the treatment.)

Ready to work

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

Let's face it, OCD sucks. I also ended up quitting working. What worked for me was that I told myself that I would take baby steps (again) since I was uncomfortable anyway (again) I would make myself do something different every day. This may sound silly but I do things like brush my teeth with my left hand instead of my right or put my right shoe on first instead of my left It made me focus on something. Little by little I went out the front door, the next time I would walk to the street, then a couple of houses, etc. I was terrified the whole time but it got easier and easier. Yesterday I walked about 5 miles 🎉 Also, do you practice self compassion? Self compassion does not come naturally to me but I try to work on it. When we feel defeated, we can really be hard on ourselves. I got The Self Compassion Workbook for OCD and it's been helping me. I hope this helps. You can do this. 💪🏻

HeartMama

Date posted: 43w ago

While I don't fully upstanding the feelings and thoughts that are involved in agoraphobia, I think that one similarity is that they can both make your world feel smaller and make you feel very isolated. I can speak of relapse in symptoms, I had my ocd symptoms fairly uncmder control for many years and they spiraled out of control after my son was born, you will find your way back out again, but it may take sitting with a lot of discomfort. I think you are in good hands with NOCD, and I hope that you find some peace through the ERP, know that your progress is not all gone, you have the tools, you just may need to repeat the process again to find your freedom. My thoughts are with you!

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@HeartMama Thank you 😊

HeartMama

Date posted: 43w ago

@Cat21 I wish you so much happiness for your future❤️ setbacks are hard and frustrating. I was listening to my inspiration Playlist and was thinking about your post and early in my process with nocd I found a Sara Bareilles song that just made me feel like someone got me and what I was feeling, her music has been super inspiring on my journey, but Soneone to love me really gets me deep down and so does Orpheus, not sure of they woukd resonate with you, but they really helped me put things in perspective. It sounds like you have support around you that is there to love you. Music is really healing for me, o I thought I'd share.❤️

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@HeartMama Aw thank you so much. I do have an amazing support group, I’m very very lucky. It’s just overwhelming and scary that only I can fix me and do the hard work 😢 Music is so important to me too, and it’s sad that I can’t even really enjoy it right now. But I will definitely check out those songs! I like her. Thank you again.

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

Thanks for the book rec! I haven’t heard of that one. Yeah, self compassion is super hard for me to but I’ve been trying. I can’t quit because I have a mortgage, I’m allowing myself at least a year (but hopefully less) to get back to a functioning level. My relapse last year I took two weeks off and was able to go back to work. I want to do it right or better this time. I’m still feel determined although sometimes I feel hopeless. I am getting better at tolerating the uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. That’s amazing about the walk you did!! I can’t even be alone or go far. It’s gonna be a long road but with lots of ups and downs, but I’m hoping I will finally accept the discomfort. Thanks for sharing 🫶🏼

Ready to work

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

I understand the hopeless feeling. But I think you said the right word "accept" I have the hardest time with accepting that I have to deal with this my whole life BUT the sooner that I accept that I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, I'll be able to recover quicker. We just need to practice practice practice even when we are mentally drained. And celebrate every small win 🥳❤️

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

@Ready to work Definitely. I made a list of things I wanted to discuss with my therapist this week and I listed all the exposures (incidental and planned) that I did recently and how they went, and what safety behaviors/compulsions, etc were done and it really put into perspective how much I’ve done these last couple weeks. last week was a really tough week for me emotionally and mentally. I was really feeling so down and like I’ve done so poorly, but I haven’t given myself the credit I deserve for doing so much. I’m nowhere near where I was before the relapse, but considering the situation, I should be more compassionate and patient with myself.

JawnyD

Date posted: 9w ago

Advice please

6 months ago I had a severe panic attack and it’s changed my life. Scared of 99% of foods, can’t take meds out of fear, been hospitalized a few times cause of blood sugar drops and other health scares due to poor eating. I’m constantly scanning my body finding any little thing that’s uncomfortable and then fixate and panic over the smallest things. Whether be a smell I’m unfamiliar with, a weird sensation in my arm literally anything freaks me out….. who has had success with exposure or has dealt with similar issues. I feel like I’m unintentionally slowly killing myself but I’m too scared for meds and therapy doesn’t seem to make much of a dent right now. Please share some success stories I need hope.

Sosa2loud

Date posted: 9w ago

Kind of Spiraling

Hi guys! I’m new to the community and I’ve recently received my OCD diagnosis (tho I’ve known about it since childhood). I’ve been somewhat spiraling lately as I wait for my first ERP session (hooray!) I was just wondering if any of you guys have received ERP for existential OCD and if it was successful? My existential OCD compulsions are more so mental and have been affecting me in the sense of dream/memory flashbacks and giving me a sort of “uncanny” feeling about everything around me. Any advice is appreciated! Thank you❤️

Girlypop

Date posted: 8w ago

ERP for fear of cancelation? (Event/False Memory)

What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/

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