Agoraphobia

I had a significant severe agoraphobia relapse a month ago and have been on leave from work since. I have been staying with my family and have not gone home alone. I feel so defeated that at all my progress is gone. It’s been so hard to do ERP and back to being terrified and overly sensitized of everything. I’ve been so down and emotionally and physically drained. Anyone have any supportive comments or experience to share? Not much is talked about regarding agoraphobia here. (I do agoraphobia and OCD treatment at NOCD and this is not reflection of the treatment.)

Ready to work

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Let's face it, OCD sucks. I also ended up quitting working. What worked for me was that I told myself that I would take baby steps (again) since I was uncomfortable anyway (again) I would make myself do something different every day. This may sound silly but I do things like brush my teeth with my left hand instead of my right or put my right shoe on first instead of my left It made me focus on something. Little by little I went out the front door, the next time I would walk to the street, then a couple of houses, etc. I was terrified the whole time but it got easier and easier. Yesterday I walked about 5 miles 🎉 Also, do you practice self compassion? Self compassion does not come naturally to me but I try to work on it. When we feel defeated, we can really be hard on ourselves. I got The Self Compassion Workbook for OCD and it's been helping me. I hope this helps. You can do this. 💪🏻

HeartMama

Date posted: 45w ago

While I don't fully upstanding the feelings and thoughts that are involved in agoraphobia, I think that one similarity is that they can both make your world feel smaller and make you feel very isolated. I can speak of relapse in symptoms, I had my ocd symptoms fairly uncmder control for many years and they spiraled out of control after my son was born, you will find your way back out again, but it may take sitting with a lot of discomfort. I think you are in good hands with NOCD, and I hope that you find some peace through the ERP, know that your progress is not all gone, you have the tools, you just may need to repeat the process again to find your freedom. My thoughts are with you!

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

@HeartMama Thank you 😊

HeartMama

Date posted: 45w ago

@Cat21 I wish you so much happiness for your future❤️ setbacks are hard and frustrating. I was listening to my inspiration Playlist and was thinking about your post and early in my process with nocd I found a Sara Bareilles song that just made me feel like someone got me and what I was feeling, her music has been super inspiring on my journey, but Soneone to love me really gets me deep down and so does Orpheus, not sure of they woukd resonate with you, but they really helped me put things in perspective. It sounds like you have support around you that is there to love you. Music is really healing for me, o I thought I'd share.❤️

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

@HeartMama Aw thank you so much. I do have an amazing support group, I’m very very lucky. It’s just overwhelming and scary that only I can fix me and do the hard work 😢 Music is so important to me too, and it’s sad that I can’t even really enjoy it right now. But I will definitely check out those songs! I like her. Thank you again.

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Thanks for the book rec! I haven’t heard of that one. Yeah, self compassion is super hard for me to but I’ve been trying. I can’t quit because I have a mortgage, I’m allowing myself at least a year (but hopefully less) to get back to a functioning level. My relapse last year I took two weeks off and was able to go back to work. I want to do it right or better this time. I’m still feel determined although sometimes I feel hopeless. I am getting better at tolerating the uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. That’s amazing about the walk you did!! I can’t even be alone or go far. It’s gonna be a long road but with lots of ups and downs, but I’m hoping I will finally accept the discomfort. Thanks for sharing 🫶🏼

Ready to work

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

I understand the hopeless feeling. But I think you said the right word "accept" I have the hardest time with accepting that I have to deal with this my whole life BUT the sooner that I accept that I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, I'll be able to recover quicker. We just need to practice practice practice even when we are mentally drained. And celebrate every small win 🥳❤️

Cat21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

@Ready to work Definitely. I made a list of things I wanted to discuss with my therapist this week and I listed all the exposures (incidental and planned) that I did recently and how they went, and what safety behaviors/compulsions, etc were done and it really put into perspective how much I’ve done these last couple weeks. last week was a really tough week for me emotionally and mentally. I was really feeling so down and like I’ve done so poorly, but I haven’t given myself the credit I deserve for doing so much. I’m nowhere near where I was before the relapse, but considering the situation, I should be more compassionate and patient with myself.

Brian :)

Date posted: 22w ago

My theme almost feels real

Does anyone know of any rehabilitation centers for mental health? My ocd has gotten bad today to the point where I feel like leaving :( and desperately get help . Ever since I began medication months ago I been feeling fine but all sudden I feel like my episodes are rapidly coming back. I’m more responsive to them. I find myself ruminating more and engaging in compulsions. I feel embarrassed that my family would have to know if I considered making that choice of leaving . It’s never gotten to this breaking point , or at least I don’t think. I’ve been through this a billion times and each time it feels like it’s the worst and it’s gonna be the one that will permanently take over me and my full control. I’m from Elkhart, Indiana. Or if there’s anyone here that can talk to me I’d appreciate it I feel so alone right now and I’m more vulnerable because I’m home alone and I don’t have many friends. I’m scared that I’m gonna lose touch with myself. I don’t wanna lost my values or stop feeling my normal self. It feels real and scary. I want it to stop.

Evieb123

Date posted: 21w ago

urgent help needed

Hi everyone, I’m reaching out here because I know this community understands the daily battles of living with OCD. Recently, I hit a really dark place and tried to take my own life. It’s been hard to admit, but I’m still here, and I’m trying to find a way forward. OCD feels relentless sometimes—the intrusive thoughts, the constant doubt, the cycles that never seem to end. It became so overwhelming that I didn’t see a way out. I know I need help, and I’m working on reaching out to professionals, but I also wanted to connect here. To those who’ve been in a similar place: What helped you keep going? How do you manage the darkest moments when OCD takes over? I feel like I’m holding on by a thread, but I’m holding on. Any advice, words of encouragement, or personal experiences would mean so much to me right now. Thank you for reading this, and for being part of a space where we can be honest about our struggles.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 21w ago

Mama struggling with a bad flare up pls help

I’m going through a really bad flare up. I developed ocd many years ago when I had my first child. Postpartum ocd. I suffer from harm and pocd. At first I had mostly mental and some physical compulsions but the physical faded away pretty early on and i’ve just done mental compulsions since. My ocd was in remission for alot of years and if the ocd would pop up now and again, I was easily able to shrug it off and not engage. A few years ago I went through a stressful time in my life and the ocd came back to stay. At first it was bad but then it got better and has been pretty mild until now. It’s been really bad this week and the physical compulsions are even back. I never thought it would ever get this bad again. My ocd is making me doubt who I am and how I feel. I know it’s all ocd and not real or true but the ocd makes it feel so real that I can’t easily dismiss or disprove it. The more I try to disprove it the more real the ocd makes it feel. I’m really struggling and don’t know how to get back on track. I don’t have access to a therapist because there are no ocd specialists near me and my insurance doesn’t cover online therapy. That’s why i’m reaching out here. Has anyone been through a rough relapse? How can I get through and past this??

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