- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate so much. I jus wanna go back to the old me without the fear of being gay or bisexual and getting all these feelings and desires . I had a really bad panic attack yesterday You just gotta stay strong I believe it will get better for you and aswell for me stay strong??
- Date posted
- 5y
This is the HOCD playing games with your mind. Try not to give it fuel to keep the fire burning. And believe you will beat it.
- Date posted
- 5y
i guess how do i know it’s the HOCD and not me? that’s what i’m getting so confused on.
- Date posted
- 5y
@helloworld287 The best thing you can do is accept the possibility that you may never know. Try to expose yourself to the idea that you aren't straight and you'll just have to live your life and deal with it, without trying to check your responses or reassure yourself. Whatever the case is, we all have to accept the gray and uncertain areas of life.
- Date posted
- 5y
Try exercise, a healthier diet, and more water, a healthy body equals a healthy mind. there are lots of apps for mindfulness too.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im in a relapse as well! I beat it before and now its come back. I try to tell myself that if this were true i wouldnt have lived with complete assurance of who i was for years between these 2 episodes. I had a traumatic event happen that set me off again.
- Date posted
- 5y
same! mine was set off from a text my friend sent about a pride parade and i remember in that moment it felt like my heart sank to my stomach and boom 3.5 months later my ocd has been stronger than ever... how are you dealing with it and what did you do before to over come it?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much! You too! When it comes to ocd the best action is to do absolutly nothing. Its the less is more phenomenon.
- Date posted
- 5y
ok that’s what i’m trying to do now and i hope w all my life it works. i’m beyond anxious over it even tho i was seeing improvement some weeks
- Date posted
- 5y
You had it previously and you're just after relapsing . The HOCD wants you to believe it's not HOCD and just you. This is wrong. OCD plays tricks on your mind to believe something that is completely untrue than you panic which leads to More anxiety. The brain is a funny machine. I wish none of it was in the world some days it can be unbearable. But very "beatable".
- Date posted
- 5y
i know you’re right it’s just so hard for my brain to rationalize that rn. like if this was me it would not have gone away before. i guess do you have any recommendations for how to deal with these anxious moments so i can learn to trust myself more and not the OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
I do therapy with a lot of emdr. I had trauma from my childhood i needed to address. But mostly i had to accept the thoughts and body sensations without reacting and just letting them be there. It eventually goes away after you do not respond or even acknowledged its there. I lost my pregnancy at 5 months pregnant and went into health ocd then dropped down into hocd unfortunantly.
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m so sorry. i wish you many blessings and a happy life. that this ocd goes away and is instead replaced with a beautiful life filled with happiness
- Date posted
- 5y
I did have to increase my meds a little bit too. Just for the short term hopefully.
- Date posted
- 5y
same! it’s nice to hear someone else that has similar symptoms. makes me feel less alone
- Date posted
- 5y
Agreed!
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel so relieved, I thought I was the only one! I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do. The idea of liking a gurl makes me so fucking anxious. I’m never relaxed. But I’ve decided to try even harder since I’m so sick of it. We have to be strong!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 18w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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