ROCD and cheating

I wanted to push off writing this, but last night I wanted to escape by drinking when I literally couldn’t because I was in a random offskirt area in Osaka. I was feeling awful about me making out with that guy in Korea. And I catch myself doing behaviors relating to ocd. Getting reassurance from my partner without realizing it. Reassurance because he doesn’t know what I did. He trusts me and I fucking was playing. I had the urge to want to tell him. I feel like I can’t I’ve forward without telling him. But at the same time should I? I want to work with him and not fuck it up again. But I don’t want this secret to make me fall into old behaviors bc I really feel like I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone and just not tell them. I don’t get why I let my impulsiveness get the best of me. For awareness, I think it was the edge and the high from it, I didn’t think of the consequences, but now left with them. I think my ocd was obsessive that I find people attractive, and I like the attention I receive fr those I am attracted to. I find it reassuring to know that I can have the one I think is attractive. It builds my self esteem. In other ways, I must find other ways that build my self esteem. I love my partner I wish I never cheated in the first place. I was always scared that someone would do that to me, and I have projected that onto several people yet here I am doing exactly my fears. I just want to know how to live with rocd and have a healthier relationship with it

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I would say talk to a therapist about your ocd. Also, if you had an urge to kiss the guy in Korea, it is a compulsion. If that is the case, it is your OCD. If you did not have an urge to kiss the guy in order to avoid or get rid of anxiety, then it is not your OCD and you should tell him. I know it is hard navigating OCD at first and it is really overwhelming but you got this. Get a OCD therapist if you can ASAP and start Watching "OCD and Anxiety" on youtube. It is really scary but it is in your hands alone if you want to get better or not.

fcknsav

Date posted: 1y

I think you should tell your partner I think their trust will definitely need to be earned back but at the same time it was an ocd compulsion and I think you should explain that as well I get it would be hard because explaining ocd to people to don’t have it is so hard but I think your guilt would go away and telling him would definitely be the right thing to do

Anonnnnnm

Date posted: 22w

Please help (ROCD)!

I have been battling ocd for over a year now and it likes to switch themes. Currently, it’s attacking my relationship with my girlfriend who I’ve been with since I was in high school over 10 years ago. It first began as an intense feeling that I have to leave or break up with her over dumb little things. Then it changed into a lot of guilt for having any thought about another girl. And the worse is feeling this intense guilt for past things I’ve done in the past while in this relationship. We were so young and I was teenager, but I often found myself watching porn, fantasizing about real other people in my life, and getting off to other girls that I may have known. When I was younger I didn’t think it was bad and that it was just a normal teen boy thing, but 10 years later I have so much guilt about it. And yes I’m with the same girl now. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I know I love this girl and I’m ready to propose to her soon. Anyway, these past mistakes I did when I was younger make me feel like a cheater and I can’t stop ruminating about it. I feel like I have to admit every detail and person I’ve ever had a bad thought about. I feel like if I propose to her and don’t tell her everything, that I’m a lair and didn’t give her the full picture. And the other day one of the girls I thought was hot when I was younger, came up in convo and I just went downhill. Now she knows I deal with OCD and she is very supportive, I’ve told her before that I did some bad things, but never all the details. And that’s all my brain keeps telling me to do. I have so much tightness in my chest and just want to be able to breathe again. But everyone says to not admit or it’ll reinforce the cycle, I’m just not sure how everyone else does that. And at the same time, maybe I am a cheater and just simply a bad person. Idk! I never cheated physically or anything like that, but my past mistakes feel like I did. But again I may just be a bad person! Please if anyone has advice or is dealing with similar things, I’d appreciate the help!

Relationship OCD

.Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

ROCD/False Memory

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

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ROCD and cheating

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