Sports

Idk if this is OCD per se, it feels more like perfectionism than anything. but I was wondering if anyone can relate. I’m a girl approaching the age of 20 and there are certain things I really want to be able to enjoy and pamper myself with, like getting my nails done, or getting a lash lift. But I’ve discovered that doing either brings me a lot of stress. For example, I just bought some nice press on nails last week and I put them on last night (which took me soooo long) and I’ve been so stressed about them since. I keep worrying that they’re going to fall off right away and I keep checking them and pushing on them to see, so much so that I worry I’m going to make them loose. I already had one looking like it was starting to lift, and instead of leaving it I pulled it off entirely cuz I’d rather start over and redo it than have it fall off, and now I’m worried my other nails are gonna fall off and that I should just pull them off now before they do. I keep pushing on one nail that feels loose to me. But it hasn’t lifted, but I’ve pushed it so much now that I want to rip it off. And another example, when I get a lash lift I worry so much because I start obsessing over the evenness of the curl on both sides. It always feels like one side is more curled than the other. Or that one side looks more fuller (more lashes) than the other and it makes me stressed. And I also obsess over those pesky lashes that just didn’t want to curl and I try pulling them out sometimes to make it look for even. It’s just little things like that which make these experiences unenjoyable for me, even tho I so badly want to enjoy them. I spent money on these nails and I want them to last and I’m so worried that I did them wrong and ruined it. I just don’t want them to fall off. But they’re caused me a lot of stress in the last 24hrs and I’ve been hyperfixating on them so much.

I got harassed in an online game (marvel rivals for anyone curious) today bc I was “playing bad.” I think they realized I’m a female player too (my username makes it obvious) so it gave them more fuel to harass me. I kinda threw the match after all the rudeness. I obsess a LOT over what my teammates think of me, whether I play well, and one negative interaction and I’m spiraling for a long time. I reported the rude players but now I’m too afraid to play again. I feel OCD makes it really hard to play online bc i’m constantly obsessing over my errors and sometimes can’t enjoy the game at all. I also obsess over winning, and it becomes addictive in a way. Anyone else relate?

I haven't been able to read about experiences similar to mine when it comes to my perfectionism OCD so I was wondering if anyone had any "uncommon" experiences.