OCD is so frustrating.

The fear of delusions and schizophrenia are back and hit out of no where. Had a simple thought in my head of what is someone poisoned my drink that I got for lunch today. And boom full blown panic attack. Why the hell does this happen????? Like why do I genuinely think I’m a schizophrenic and am going to lose my mind and go full blown crazy. Why did I have a thought that someone would even poison my drink. I genuinely am so sick and tired of this!!!!!!!!! I’m not asking for reassurance but how can such a legit thought be just ocd.

fallenfroot

Date posted: 1y

i truly get what youre going through, schizophrenia/psychosis are also a big ocd topic that i go through a lot... you start to notice everything weird about you with such a hyperfocus that it really feels like you could go crazy. you should go and look up "chrissie hodges" and also "taylor brittany tube" on youtube, they have great videos on psychosis-ocd/dementophobia

gracexocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@fallenfroot Thank you !! I appreciate that. It sucks so bad

fallenfroot

Date posted: 1y

what also helped me was realizing that my fear came from a lot of missinformation about people with these mental illnesses. in media we see a lot of them portrait as violent/dangerous people but thats not true! being schizophrenic wouldn't be the end for you and it for sure wouldnt be the worst thing ever. it is treatable and we just have a very bad image of it

gracexocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@fallenfroot That’s true. I guess I just my fear is more so having it and not being diagnosed and then it getting worse. It’s just pretty textbook to me that a thought like that would have to mean schizophrenia because no regular person would think someone poisoned their drink. If that makes sense lol

fallenfroot

Date posted: 1y

@gracexocd but you do realize it is an irrational fear, i think having this kind of self awareness is whats different. i know that in the moment it feals so urgent and anxiety enducing but its "just" the intrusive thought and the ocd giving meaning to it. if i had the thought it and its causing me anxiety it must be real. sorry if that was reassurence 😅

gracexocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@fallenfroot You’re right. No its not reassurance. Thanks for your help. This sh*t gets so rough man. Especially when being fine for a while and then relapsing

Lilly2442!

Date posted: 44w

How are you doing now ??

gracexocd

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w

@Lilly2442! Hey, im doing Okay. Some days are better than others. And this is still a theme I struggle with however I do feel im getting better at controlling the anxiety it provokes so that’s good!

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

yaya_zz

Date posted: 22w

OCD flaring up

My ocd has been flaring up lately I’ve noticed some things that I don’t know if it’s ocd or something else whenever I seen someone like drugged or sick or just not “normal” I feel like or get scared that’s gonna end up being me? Does that make sense or then after a few minutes I feel like I’m them I don’t know exactly how to explain it I feel like I’m gonna start acting crazy or like I act weird or like them ? Idk exactly how to explain it and I have such a drop in my stomach thinking of it because it makes me feel insane, I haven’t had such an ocd episode so it’s getting hard again and making me feel insane specially because I don’t know how to explain this that I feel, I feel so scared rn can someone please comment on this?

LizM99

Date posted: 14w

Is this something OCD does?

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

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OCD is so frustrating.

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