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@fallenfroot Thank you !! I appreciate that. It sucks so bad

what also helped me was realizing that my fear came from a lot of missinformation about people with these mental illnesses. in media we see a lot of them portrait as violent/dangerous people but thats not true! being schizophrenic wouldn't be the end for you and it for sure wouldnt be the worst thing ever. it is treatable and we just have a very bad image of it

@fallenfroot That’s true. I guess I just my fear is more so having it and not being diagnosed and then it getting worse. It’s just pretty textbook to me that a thought like that would have to mean schizophrenia because no regular person would think someone poisoned their drink. If that makes sense lol

@gracexocd but you do realize it is an irrational fear, i think having this kind of self awareness is whats different. i know that in the moment it feals so urgent and anxiety enducing but its "just" the intrusive thought and the ocd giving meaning to it. if i had the thought it and its causing me anxiety it must be real. sorry if that was reassurence 😅

@fallenfroot You’re right. No its not reassurance. Thanks for your help. This sh*t gets so rough man. Especially when being fine for a while and then relapsing

@Lilly2442! Hey, im doing Okay. Some days are better than others. And this is still a theme I struggle with however I do feel im getting better at controlling the anxiety it provokes so that’s good!