OCD cruise edition

i have really bad contamination ocd and i can honestly get through my days without panic attacks but it always requires that i have hand sanitizer, wet wipes and access to wash my hands and be able to shower afterwards. i’m feeling like there’s no hope because i can get through the days okay and i try not to let other people know about it because i deal with it all privately but i’m afraid i’ll never be able to stop with all of the cleaning throughout the day. does anyone have tips to stop cleaning their hands or anywhere that may have gotten “dirty” or anything like that? thank you (:

Hello everyone, I'm new here and have severe contamination ocd that has been happening the past four years since I was 20. I'm 24 now and it seems to be getting worse. I don't want to be around kids because I know they're germy little gremlins and carry the main thing I fear that caused my ocd to worsen. I shower whenever anything above my chest has been touched (neck, face, hair). I wash my clothes after one wear because they feel contaminated after the use. I refuse to let people touch my bed or clean clothes. If I hear that anyone in my family is sick I freak out intensely and have to stay away from them. I also shower if I've been in public and people were coughing near me. If I don't feel like showering and that my above triggers aren't contaminated I just wash my arms up to the elbow and go to sleep because I sleep in short sleeve shirts and my arms touch everything all day. I refuse to touch my face, neck or hair after touching my phone or anything else. I bring a travel blanket with me but have to wash it after every use. I use my shoe to open doors and press the cross walk button. If I can't use my shoe I use my pinkie and immediately handsanitize sometimes twice just to have my hands feel clean. I have to use a utensil to eat when in a restaurant and would ask to change it if I see it touch anything. I work at a place that requires me to use a phone so I have to shower and wash my ear. I hold my breath when walking past people. I can't sit back in the car or on the couch because it'll contaminate my neck and hair. I also have to do a double wash with my hands to feel clean. I used to do it for 20 seconds but I do the hand wash for 20 the 1st time then 30 for the second. I can't wear purses with straps that touch my shoulders, same with back packs. And I use so much soap and lotion that don't help keep my hands moisturized. And if I get triggered by anything I sit there in a quiet rage and ramble in my head because I know saying anything out loud will have me look crazy. There are times though that I get angry and close to tears when it feels like I've been contaminated and when my family makes fun of me for things I feel I have no control over especially the intrusive thoughts, emotions, anger, fear, and tiredness I feel on a daily basis. I'm scared of doing exposure therapy because I know they'll have me touch something contaminated and have me touch my face and not wash it how does that help it'll just make me angry.

I have severe contamination ocd. I even try to avoid touching people bcz i tgink they might not be clean and if i touch something i feel like i need to take shower and wash my clothes and all other stuff. And almost everytime i am just thinking how to avoid touching contaminated thing and what of i come in contact with those things. How will be i be able to repeat the cleaning process all over its soooo hard. If i try exposure it makes my depression even worse so i just do compulsions again. Is everyone else suffering from contamination ocd? I feel like a need a break from my own thoughts and want my brain to calm.