confused help

not really a tw but this mentions a lot of sexual stuff so i woke up in the middle of the night last night and had a weird thought or dream abt sex. not even sure if it was me with another person or two different people. and i’m not sure if i dreamt it or just imagined it when i was falling asleep. however i do remember not feeling worried like i usually do when i have those thoughts/dreams. and now it’s the next day and i don’t really feeling anxious abt it. i have being doing a ton of erp recently and i think it’s been working?? bc this morning and yesterday morning i’ve woken up feeling completely fine. usually intrusive thoughts immediately flood my mind as soon as i wake up. anyways back to what happened: now that im awake i still don’t really feel anxious abt it which makes me feel like i should feel guilt bc does that mean i cheated on my bf? like i said im pretty sure it consisted of two different people and i wasn’t involved at all in the thought/dream but i remember vividly telling myself to stop thinking about it but continuing to think/dream about it. that’s what really made me feel guilty. however now that im awake, when i think abt sex the only person that comes to my mind is my bf and nobody else. idk if im explaining that good. i just feel like i should be guilty for something bc maybe that is considered cheating and if im not guilty then it means i wanted to do it. i don’t ever want to cheat on my bf. he is genuinely the only person i ever want to be with intimately and thinking abt other ppl doing that makes me question if i enjoy it. (basically watching p0rn). i know in reality i do not enjoy it. but maybe it’s a natural reaction to getting those sort of visuals in ur mind??? idk

matchalover123

Date posted: 1y

i’d also like to mention: when i get thoughts like this wondering abt if im cheating on my bf or not, or just any intrusive thought i’ve been telling myself “what good is this thought doing me? is it solving anything” and if it’s not then it goes away. it’s just this one that worries me bc i think i did partially enjoy thought/dream i had and that feels like cheating even though i would never ever get with anybody else other than him

13rianna

Date posted: 1y

@matchalover123 In my opinion porn is not cheating. If you wanted to you could even watch porn with your partner (that’s just my pov though and want you to understand it’s not necessarily a bad thing even from the jump). I know you said you’re not anxious but by your post I am sensing that you actually are. And that is okay. Anxiety is trying to protect us even though it’s so uncomfortable. You doing erp and feeling better is a step in the right direction. Think of your intrusive thoughts as OCD trying to test you. I find giving my thoughts sarcasm the best way to flow and move past them. For example respond to your thoughts with “haha yup ya got me i was watching porn” (even if you weren’t you’re telling your brain that everything is okay and to release the protective hold). Once you do that your anxiety and thoughts should lessen.

MissExistential

Date posted: 48w

OCD is sneaky. It sounds like it jumped to something else after you treated the original theme. I would say, if your boyfriend is aware you watch porn, it’s not cheating. If he’s not aware, make him aware. And yes, it’s a natural reaction to getting those visuals. Perhaps don’t watch porn, and only read erotica, so you can imagine you and your boyfriend when you’re reading it. I don’t mean that as an avoidance thing, but rather, because it’s in alignment with your value of him being the only one you want to think about

🧡🍁🎃

Date posted: 21w

Question of curiosity

TMI!! Hey everyone, I was coming on here to ask if anyone has experienced this before! Im in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend so in this post I wanted to ask this question because this is how it felt to me! I remembered earlier today I was watching this movie, etc. and there was this spicy scene in it (iykyk) and it got me feeling some sort of way. This has happened before especially if I’ve played a game or watched a show with some content like this. I felt really in the mood and started to imagine my boyfriend and I doing those things together and I sort of decided to (yanno, the m word) hopefully everyone understands because I just don’t like saying the word😭, but I found that every time I do that, that’s when my ocd is at its worst/peak. Every time my mind has tried to convince me I’ve cheated, when I self pleasure. I get in the mood if I think of my boyfriend and I doing those things I see in movies, shows etc, and that’s when I’ll do it, But literally I realized after I’ve done that at times my ocd is at its worst because my mind will attack me constantly asking “Is this cheating? Does this make me a horrible girlfriend?” If I self pleasure, I also want to add that I mentioned it to my boyfriend at one time and he told me it wasn’t at all and that everything is okay, but constantly I feel guilty for it and extremely horrible. Just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this?

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

HELP PLS I NEED ADVICE

Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞

Marrkk22

Date posted: 10w

Real event cheating

So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character

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