- Date posted
- 38w ago
Have you ever
Tried to say "ok im just gonna accept that i'm gay" and you felt calm, like It was true and then It freaked you out wven more cause It felt real???
Tried to say "ok im just gonna accept that i'm gay" and you felt calm, like It was true and then It freaked you out wven more cause It felt real???
Yup! Used to do that one a lot. That’s a testing compulsion. It’s not going to make anything clearer. It’s just going to confuse you more and send you down a compulsion spiral of rumination and mental checking and further testing.
I'm so tired mentally, I can't stop thinking about It and when I try to distract myself I feel like something Is wrong cause i'm not thinking about It and i'm not solving It... My therapist says I have GAD with some ocd tendencies cause I don't have compulsions, my compulsions are only mental and so it's not ocd completely for her. Where I live pure-o is not considered ocd😔 so It makes me think that I'm actually gay cause my therapist says it's not completely ocd
@Marharet Mental compulsions are compulsions. It’s the same as ocd with physical compulsions. Your therapist is obviously not a specialist in it. You need to be doing ERP and if your therapist doesn’t know how to do that with you, you should try finding an online course or workbook. There are many therapists who provide online courses or even teletherapy who will understand “pure o” and know how to help you. I had this happen with a therapist too before I found a specialist. As soon as I saw the specialist she assured me it’s all ocd and what I was experiencing was perfectly normal for that diagnosis.
@pureolife Unfortunately in Italy it's not common to treat ocd unless it's with physical compulsions, I Changed so many therapists😔 mental health here Is veeeeery behind compared to other countries, it's still a taboo too!
@Marharet Try “OCD and Anxiety Online” or “CBT School” — both available online and taught by ocd specialists
@Marharet Ciao, sono italiana anch'io! Anch'io ho avuto molta difficoltà a trovare degli psicologi specializzati per il doc, ti capisco :'). Al momento io ho trovato uno psicologo a Torino, Centro Galileo Ferraris se vuoi guardare (l'ho trovato grazie alla fondazione internazionale del doc, IOCDF). Puoi fare terapia online anche da altre parti d'Italia! Altrimenti dovrebbero esserci dei centri specializzati a Firenze e se non sbaglio a Roma
@g🦋 Grazie mille!! Io sono di napoli, ma cercherò di trovare qualcosa online allora❤️❤️
@Marharet Figurati!💕
Oh yeah, manyyy times and it did not lead me anywhere because guess what? It’s a compulsion! It feeds OCD like it’s your personal pet. I suggest to you to look at this from the POV of a theme you don’t have and could hardly bother you. When I was struggling with SOCD like you, I started reading about people with POCD, and thought “wow, they even feel sensations even though they are not genuine”. OCD is able to make you feel calm when you state the opposite of what you want to do, it’s your mind, it can literally do anything. And no, that is not the answer to your question. I hope this helped! Wish you all the very best and if you need any advice on SOCD, feel free to ask!
as the title says. i am trying, i really am but i cant help but think that i have been gay this whole time. it feels like i can never be happy again unless i come out. i cant do it anymore. everyday is hard. there are not easy days. i just want to love my partner and i cant. i look at him and i get this wave of anxiety and guilt. why can i just be me again? i miss the days there this was just a past thing. i feel alone and i feel stuck like this forever. my heart hurts all the time. i am trying to sit with uncertainty but i cant because it feels certain and that i know i am gay but i dont want to be. its really really sad. i hate my life and i need it to end. bye.
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
I don’t want to look for reassurance but I seriously need help. I got diagnosed with OCD in January of 2024. My first theme was religious OCD. I feared that I would commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Maybe about five months later I walked in to my dad’s room where he was watching a movie, and two girls did some stuff if you know what I mean. Later that day I started to panic that I was that way. At the beginning of my hocd I did many compulsions and a lot of rumination. I had bad anxiety and knew that I did not want a relationship with a woman. I had always known myself to be straight. I’ve liked men since preschool. From having a crushes and celebrity crushes and only wanting and fantasizing about men. But fast forward to now with my hocd, I have no anxiety and I’m feel like I’m in denial. Which I know is common but I believe I truly want and like this. Even though before I would have had a panic attack and said ew. When I think about dating a girl I feel as though it’s normal and I have no anxiety about not having anxiety. I’m a very big Christian and I don’t really want to be this way. I mean if I am I’ll deal with it I guess but I’ve never felt this way before. I used to always watch movies and be like I hope I find a man like that but now i do that with both genders I feel like. I felt numb but now it feels normal and that I truly want and enjoy it and that I’m okay with it. Am I in denial or is it hocd still? Can anyone relate? It just feels so real like it’s not hocd anymore and I feel like I don’t care and I just want to know yk. UGH I don’t know how to explain it.
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