- Date posted
- 1y
Have you ever
Tried to say "ok im just gonna accept that i'm gay" and you felt calm, like It was true and then It freaked you out wven more cause It felt real???
Tried to say "ok im just gonna accept that i'm gay" and you felt calm, like It was true and then It freaked you out wven more cause It felt real???
Yup! Used to do that one a lot. That’s a testing compulsion. It’s not going to make anything clearer. It’s just going to confuse you more and send you down a compulsion spiral of rumination and mental checking and further testing.
I'm so tired mentally, I can't stop thinking about It and when I try to distract myself I feel like something Is wrong cause i'm not thinking about It and i'm not solving It... My therapist says I have GAD with some ocd tendencies cause I don't have compulsions, my compulsions are only mental and so it's not ocd completely for her. Where I live pure-o is not considered ocd😔 so It makes me think that I'm actually gay cause my therapist says it's not completely ocd
@Marharet Mental compulsions are compulsions. It’s the same as ocd with physical compulsions. Your therapist is obviously not a specialist in it. You need to be doing ERP and if your therapist doesn’t know how to do that with you, you should try finding an online course or workbook. There are many therapists who provide online courses or even teletherapy who will understand “pure o” and know how to help you. I had this happen with a therapist too before I found a specialist. As soon as I saw the specialist she assured me it’s all ocd and what I was experiencing was perfectly normal for that diagnosis.
@pureolife Unfortunately in Italy it's not common to treat ocd unless it's with physical compulsions, I Changed so many therapists😔 mental health here Is veeeeery behind compared to other countries, it's still a taboo too!
@Marharet Try “OCD and Anxiety Online” or “CBT School” — both available online and taught by ocd specialists
@Marharet Ciao, sono italiana anch'io! Anch'io ho avuto molta difficoltà a trovare degli psicologi specializzati per il doc, ti capisco :'). Al momento io ho trovato uno psicologo a Torino, Centro Galileo Ferraris se vuoi guardare (l'ho trovato grazie alla fondazione internazionale del doc, IOCDF). Puoi fare terapia online anche da altre parti d'Italia! Altrimenti dovrebbero esserci dei centri specializzati a Firenze e se non sbaglio a Roma
@g🦋 Grazie mille!! Io sono di napoli, ma cercherò di trovare qualcosa online allora❤️❤️
@Marharet Figurati!💕
@Iwanttobreakfree🦋 Ciao! Posso chiederti come ti stai trovando al centro a Torino?
Oh yeah, manyyy times and it did not lead me anywhere because guess what? It’s a compulsion! It feeds OCD like it’s your personal pet. I suggest to you to look at this from the POV of a theme you don’t have and could hardly bother you. When I was struggling with SOCD like you, I started reading about people with POCD, and thought “wow, they even feel sensations even though they are not genuine”. OCD is able to make you feel calm when you state the opposite of what you want to do, it’s your mind, it can literally do anything. And no, that is not the answer to your question. I hope this helped! Wish you all the very best and if you need any advice on SOCD, feel free to ask!
what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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