- Date posted
- 1y
Rumination, dissociation, and paranoia
My ocd has progressively gotten worse throughout my life. When I was about 10 years old I started to have these intrusive thoughts that would tell me I was awkward and embarrassing to be around so I would ruminate about every social interaction I had and hyperfixate on how other people reacted to me that would give proof for the intrusive thoughts that I was these things. So I started to isolate myself in my room for most of my life and dissociate because of how strong these thoughts are and the unimaginable shame they make me feel until I developed harm ocd. I'm 18 now and I dissociate every time I go outside because I feel like people are staring at me or want to hurt me in some way. I still feel like people think I'm awkward or retarded (hate using that word but that's how the intrusive thoughts make me feel) Does anyone else experience this or know what might help me get through it? It would help to know I'm not alone at least. Thank you for reading ❤️