[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 45w
Starryeyes08Starryeyes08
- Date posted
- 45w
I’m here with you in this struggle. I always worry if I’m a bad person and over analyze every interaction with people. Thinking so deeply about my own thoughts about it also makes me feel so vain/narcissistic. It makes me think “Wow, I think about myself so much. I must be so self absorbed.” and this further exacerbates the feeling that I’m a bad person. Even though I know I’m being irrational.
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
Me too girl, I’m so scared that I’ve isolated myself!! You’re not alone, but please don’t consume yourself. I know your story, so please don’t be so harsh again you were so young and you were a sponge to people around you, it was one mistake you learned. And I doubt she remembers it.
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
You’re just like all of us, questioning. What I don’t see about pocd is also mistakes that lead to be worsened, and this brings comfort knowing someone here also made mistakes but I doubt it harmed anyone love 🌸give yourself grace
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
@rosepetaltears I need to take therapy, I hope it helps and I understand your pain all too well, even at your age I was the same. I haven’t gotten help, but you’re brave for coming here and allowing yourself to heal, keep up the good work 🌸
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
@rosepetaltears No, I’ve been through a lot in my life even starting as a new adult. I was a pre-teen once, it was difficult and I too had parental issues. I try to focus on the real world, and I can tell you that the effect you thought you did , wasn’t really half as bad as a normal person, or even think about as much as us. You’re okay, and I promise you that. I hope you the best and that you mend relationships with your mother, I get what that’s like even with both divorced parents too. It’s going to be okay, and never be afraid to ask for help. I get the discomfort of asking for it because people stigmatize our issues. You have hope, you’re a good person.
[Deleted][Deleted]
- Date posted
- 45w
Comment deleted by user
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
@rosepetaltears I feel this way too, heavy on wanting my mom because I’m scared too
KumiakumiaKumiakumia
- Date posted
- 45w
@rosepetaltears I understand, and talking to everyone is awful bc I think “they don’t know what I did” even tho, nobody sees you that way. But I understand that pressure to well, I’ve said before. You were a younger child and still are, that might not help. Trust, and give yourself grace because you didn’t know better.
lizaaalizaaa
- Date posted
- 45w
I understand,mostly for the "am I a bad person" part,to be specific I talked to my mom about my intrusive thoughts but she didn't take it seriously,I don't talk about it anymore cuz it's not worthy
piawripiawri
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel like having ocd is liek ur entire life is a game of the floor is lava except instead of lava it’s the gaping pits of hell, so I get it
Related posts
ㅤ
- Date posted
- 25w
False Memory Crisis
I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.
Lulu~
- Date posted
- 10w
False memories + real events (TW: POCD)
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
1231234
- Date posted
- 28d
Tips for someone starting out with Therapy?
I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words
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