- Date posted
- 52w
Deliberating anxiety
I've grown very impulsive and anxious this summer, doing things very out of my nature and unlike me. It's scary. I recently started seeing this man since my previous partner. He's amazing, he treats me lovingly, he helps me calm down, he's pretty handsome and he is an incredibly level headed person. I feel like I love him (logically) but I have spiralled for weeks about what love truly is and whether or not I'm feeling it, having not much nervous butterflies and being overly excited to do sexual things. We've been going out and engaging in some of those things and it's amazing, he's good at it..but I can't shake the feeling that that's all I care about. We've tried to stop doing that kind of stuff so early on but we're both as impulsive as eachother so it just keeps happening. I feel like I should feel more to know that I love him. I feel like I shouldn't even have to question what love it. It's such a scary feeling. I haven't had to make this kind of decision about a relationship in over 3 years, as the last time I was "asked out" was that long ago, and then I stayed with my ex partner for 3 years. So this is very new for me, I was 13 too so it was kind of a "yeah sure" situation. Now I feel like it's so complicated and crazy. This man I'm seeing is telling me that I comfort him and I help him and he does the exact same thing to me, is this love? I'm not sure but I'm feeling sick over it. I'm going to push myself to see him today to get some comfort and closure because we got in a difficult situation last night (TMI and I don't want to mention it) and it gave me horrendous anxiety, so we're going to just have a hug and a sit down and make sure we're both okay. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice or just relatable stories to this? Thank you x