Worried

I'm scared that I don't have SO-OCD, I need to give an example first, let's take, straight female, fears being a lesbian, she, of course get's false atraction, very distressing and not enjoyable at all, she of course it's scare she's atracted to women now, but what she is scared about the most, really, is not being atracted to men. So that's OCD, but here is me. I'm more scare of being atracted to men, that of not being atracted to women, honestly I don't even care, I don't care if I never feel anything for a woman again, I just don't wanna fall for a dude. Also my false atraction feels good, not even anxious, not sure what to make of that

Alice1837

Date posted: 1y

Not sure I can relate entirely but I do get the crippling fear of falling for a man. I've read that many people with sexual orientation ocd didn't care who they were attracted to, they only wanted to feel certain but I do. I'm terrified of being attracted to men. Is that what you meant?

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

Yeah, that's exacly what I mean (Maybe I exagerated a little on my post cause I was not feeling good, also I like to exagerate so even if it's the worst scenario I still want to get reassure it's OCD) But yeah, I do care, I feel like the others don't care, that they just want to know for sure, cause I read their post, but mine sometimes doesn't feel like a doubt, it comes like a fact that I dont' want, so obviously I do care

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

Well if it doesnt cause you any anxiety, how is it ocd? Not saying it isnt ocd, but are you saying you dont have any anxiety at all?

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

I mean, yeah I do had it, but after I had the feeling, not before, and not during, there's like this split second were I didn't had anxiety

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

@Nicolas:) With me i had soocd and have since recovered. When it first hit me, the anxiety was absolutely overwhelming. Panic attacks. Lost my job because of it. Now i just dont care at all. I just look at it like, yeah i could enjoy sex with men or women. Depends if i find you attractive or not lol. I really dont care. I actually had to figure it out on my own. I was too afraid to talk to a ocd therapist about it. I guess its kinda like ocd contamination for example. Not washing your hands after touching a public sink. Yeah i might get sick but i really dont care.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

@Nicolas:) I think one of the problems with soocd is that usually people who have this have previous or additional ocd subtypes. They were born with ocd. Like myself. And many ocd people like myself get bad anxiety when something isnt a certain way. We need things to be a certain way. With soocd, the suffered cant accept the idea of not being 100 percent heterosexual or 100 percent homosexual. And its easier to get hit with it nowadays because of all the internet pornography and stuff on televison, etc. So we get triggered easily. If you just tell yourself yeah i could enjoy sex with different people, men or women, white or black, etc etc, the anxiety will fade over time.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

@Ifiknewthen But you should still do the exposure and response prevention process.

Ifiknewthen

Date posted: 1y

And your attraction to women will go back to normal once you no longer give a shit about being attracted to men. Because your anxiety will decrease.

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 1y

I don't even think that was the point, I don't remenber what I wrote honestly, but I just got trigger cause this has been my only theme, never had other obssesions, I had other thoughs, of zoophilia, pedofilia, incest, taboo sexual acts, some nasty accidents to relatives of mine, but I never obsses over them, so they can't be OCD

Anonymousesti

Date posted: 24w

SOOCD

I feel like evryone is saying yeah the worst part is not knowing what my actual sexuality is however for me its like not that but more about being another sexuality and not being able to be with my bf because "my body and my truth are stronger then my will to stay with my bf". I also have the fear of SOOCD ending up being true or for example and more specifically liking it and never going back to men... I dont know if anyone relates to that, let me know!

Sexual Orientation OCD

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 20w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 20w

feeling helpless

As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.

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