When I was 14, I experimented with a friend because he lied and said that it wasnt a homosexual act (when it clearly was) he tried to get me to do it several times and I eventually caved... after 30 seconds of it I went in the rest room and gagged and had a panic attack... my hocd is saying im in denial because of these events...
omg no what your friend did was wrong! i’m so sorry about that. ocd latches on to anything. if you need anyone to talk to please speak to me, also watch Nathan Peterson and Chrissie Hodges on youtube for ocd advice. You can feel better 💖
@panda hope 💖✝️ I guess he was abused
@aspureasgreen i don’t want to assume anything but what his friend did wasn’t okay
@panda hope 💖✝️ Thank you for the kind words panda. Im trying to make sure that my pocd and hocd dont affect me as much... but ive been spiraling these past few weeks...
@panda hope 💖✝️ I havent spoken to him since the incident... and I forgot it happened until my hocd first started 4 years ago...
@Givenup you seem like a good person, and i get it because im spiraling now myself, im hoping you can feel good soon, dont give up 🙏
@panda hope 💖✝️ When I was a child (13 years old) I did things im not proud of... and as an adult, I will never do... my POCD still loves to make me think im a P because of my childhood mistakes... i dont know if i deserve to be forgiven, but I try everyday...
@panda hope 💖✝️ Hope I havent upset you...
@Givenup No sorry, i was doing some work you didn’t upset me :) And we all make mistakes, i did things when i was a kid too but i doesn’t define you now
If he forced you it's ABUSE and it's not your fault. It has nothing to do with your sexuality, but you need to process what happened with therapy. I hope you can heal.
@Camille67 He didnt force me... he lied to me about the act not being homosexual... and I had a panic attack after 30 seconds of the experimentation...
@Camille67 I hope I havent upset you or anything like that...
@Givenup Lying to obtain a sexual act is still abuse. You also said he insisted many times, so he also pressed you into doing It.
@Givenup You didn't upset me at all! I Just want you to realize that what happened it's not your fault and It has nothing to do with your sexuality, your friend did something terrible.
@Camille67 Thank you... When I was a child (13 years old) I did things im not proud of... and as an adult, I will never do... my POCD still loves to make me think im a P because of my childhood mistakes... i dont know if i deserve to be forgiven, but I try everyday...
@Camille67 I hope I havent upset you...
That's coercion. I'm really sorry that happened to you. It's not your fault. You were pressured.
@Anonymous ✨🪬 I said no at first because it was a homosexual act he wanted me to do, but after he said it wasnt a homosexual act several times, I eventually caved...
@Givenup If you say no the first time, it's a no. ☹️
@Anonymous ✨🪬 This was several times over the course of weeks... but still... thank you for the kind words...
@Anonymous ✨🪬 Whoever you are, you are a good person. Never forget that.
@Givenup That's sounds really bad. Again, your alright. It's over. That must've felt wrong and you knew you didn't want it so that person should've left you alone. I can't fully say I'm a good person since I've done tons of things, but I try to do the right thing. 🙏👍 Hope you find the help your looking for!💙
@Anonymous ✨🪬 Ive done bad things too... especially as a 13 year old... you arent alone...
@Givenup I know, but it's hard to forgive yourself. You aren't alone either btw! 🫶
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
I think these are the worst real events ive ever done... and Im so triggered because the last thing I want is to be a a P or a MAP... im triggered because I dont want the people ive become friends with on NOCD to block me because they think im a P or a MAP... thats the last thing I want... When I was 18, i unknowingly consumed l*licon a couple times... I didnt know what the term was at the time... I thought that since it was on a public site, and it had millions of views, that i thought it was safe to consume... when I did my research when I was 19 onto what exactly the term was... I was horrified and mortified... I puked and gagged and felt numb for days... it's been 5 years since then... im 23... and the last thing I want is to ever be exposed to this kind of content ever again... let alone consume it... I should've been more knowledgeable and it's my fault... my pocd and real events ocd call me a P and a MAP when these are the LAST things i want to be... I know what I did was wrong and I regret it immensely till this day... and im so overwhelmed...
i'm positive i was attracted to women before this got a thought when i was high thought really really deeply into and changed my life now im 24/7 scared im gay ive always been attracted to girls but early in my sexual life where im at ive always got with girls and seemed a little disapointed after would love help and to hear past experiences
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