- Date posted
- 29w ago
Rocd
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
i understad what you mean completely. it’s like every relationship ends because he can’t continuously reassure me. we’ll both get better, i’ve heard about erp as well, so maybe that could help us both 😵💫
Practice erp, it’s the best way to break the loop and sit with the uncertainty.
I understand completely how you feel. My biggest advice that I’ve found is “what does the OTHER PERSON gain by me asking for reassurance?” Because by asking for reassurance, you’re basically saying over and over that you do not trust your partner… which makes them actually not trust you. If the other person doesn’t gain anything valuable from you asking for reassurance, then you shouldn’t ask it. I’ve been watching Chrissie Hodges on YouTube and she talks about it a few times, it’s really helpful. And I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but I’ve learned it to be true
hey, my boyfriend recently came to me and opened up to me about him thinking he has ROCD. i am trying my absolute hardest to understand it all, and came to the realization that i might have it too. we have been dating for almost 2 years now and we’ve been on such a good streak lately if that’s what you want to call it. the bad times aren’t truthfully bad at all. but i get so anxious when he goes out to the bars without me every weekend. and then he gets anxious because of how i respond too it. so basically im just asking for some tips i guess, because i truthfully do think he is the one and could spend the rest of my life with him. but there has got to be an easy way to get past this.
Really struggling lately with ROCD. But also unsure if it’s OCD or relationship dissatisfaction. There is good days then bad. Largely depending on how I’m doing on an individual level. It’s as if small things and some big things are so intolerant at this point. At this point I’m so torn between throwing everything away and sticking it out with someone I do love and cherish. Is it trauma response, anxiety, OCD, dissatisfaction. Ugh! Anyone struggle currently with this or have in the past?
1. Thoughts about Not Loving My Boyfriend: • “What if I don’t love him?” • “I feel like I’ve lost my feelings for him.” • “I don’t feel love the way I used to.” 2. Fear of Changing or Being Different: • “What if I’ve changed and this is the real me now?” • “What if I’ve grown out of the relationship?” 3. Doubt About Attraction: • “I’m not attracted to him anymore.” • “I feel numb when I look at him.” 4. Thoughts of Disconnection and Irritation: • “I feel irritated when he shows affection.” • “I feel bored or disconnected when we talk.” • “Why do I feel like I can’t stand him sometimes?” 5. Fear of Denial: • “What if I’m in denial and I’m just pretending to love him?” • “What if all these thoughts are true?” 6. Fear of Being a Bad Person: • “I’m a terrible person for feeling this way.” • “I’m ruining my relationship and hurting him.” 7. General Anxiety About the Future: • “What if I’ll fall for someone else in the future?” • “What if I’ll never feel love again?” 8. Intrusive Thoughts from the Past: • “I had violent thoughts about my dad.” • “I worried I was a pedophile after seeing a video.” Feelings Associated with These Thoughts: 1. Numbness and Emotional Disconnection: • Feeling emotionally flat or unable to access love or joy. 2. Guilt and Shame: • Feeling like a bad person or partner. 3. Hopelessness and Despair: • Feeling like things will never get better. • Believing i am stuck this way forever. 4. Irritation and Frustration: • Getting annoyed when my boyfriend shows affection. 5. Fear and Panic: • Experiencing overwhelming anxiety when questioning my feelings. 6. Sadness and Confusion: • Crying frequently, feeling lost, or not understanding why i feel this way. Compulsions I Engage In: 1. Reassurance Seeking: • Constantly asking others if everything is okay or if your feelings are normal. 2. Researching and Googling: • Searching for answers about ROCD, anxiety, and relationships online. • Checking forums like the NOCD app for reassurance. 3. Mental Checking and Analysis: • Constantly checking if i feel love, attraction, or connection. • Analyzing every interaction and emotion to see if they’re “right.” 4. Confessing: • Telling your boyfriend or others about your thoughts to relieve guilt or doubt. 5. Avoidance: • Pulling back from conversations or interactions with my boyfriend due to anxiety. 6. Comparing: • Comparing your current feelings to how you used to feel at the beginning of the relationship. 7. Self-Criticism: • Judging yourself harshly and believing i am a terrible person. FEELING SO REAL I’m struggling with ROCD and it’s consuming me. My intrusive thoughts make me feel like I don’t love my boyfriend, that I’ve changed, or that I’m a terrible person. These thoughts make me feel numb, disconnected, and hopeless. My compulsions include constant reassurance-seeking, analyzing my feelings, researching online, and confessing my fears. It’s exhausting, and I’m desperate to feel like myself again. Does anyone relate to this? How do you cope?
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