- Date posted
- 1y
Rocd
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
i understad what you mean completely. it’s like every relationship ends because he can’t continuously reassure me. we’ll both get better, i’ve heard about erp as well, so maybe that could help us both 😵💫
Practice erp, it’s the best way to break the loop and sit with the uncertainty.
I understand completely how you feel. My biggest advice that I’ve found is “what does the OTHER PERSON gain by me asking for reassurance?” Because by asking for reassurance, you’re basically saying over and over that you do not trust your partner… which makes them actually not trust you. If the other person doesn’t gain anything valuable from you asking for reassurance, then you shouldn’t ask it. I’ve been watching Chrissie Hodges on YouTube and she talks about it a few times, it’s really helpful. And I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but I’ve learned it to be true
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
Is it normal to analyze every thought & feeling you have? For example. If I had a feeling like I wanted to flirt or if I felt like I wasn’t sad when my partner left for the night ETC. I over analyze these and they lead me to thinking I’m a bad partner or it’s not the right relationship. This scares me so bad Is this basically ROCD in a nutshell? It feels so overwhelming when thinking about all the different feelings and thoughts I’ve had over time
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