- Username
- Crystalv18
- Date posted
- 17w ago
Rocd
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
I have this constant feeling of needing 100 percent certainty in my relationship of being wanted physically and sexually by him. Plus also reassurance of if he still loves me.. it’s a loop!!!
i understad what you mean completely. it’s like every relationship ends because he can’t continuously reassure me. we’ll both get better, i’ve heard about erp as well, so maybe that could help us both 😵💫
Practice erp, it’s the best way to break the loop and sit with the uncertainty.
I understand completely how you feel. My biggest advice that I’ve found is “what does the OTHER PERSON gain by me asking for reassurance?” Because by asking for reassurance, you’re basically saying over and over that you do not trust your partner… which makes them actually not trust you. If the other person doesn’t gain anything valuable from you asking for reassurance, then you shouldn’t ask it. I’ve been watching Chrissie Hodges on YouTube and she talks about it a few times, it’s really helpful. And I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but I’ve learned it to be true
Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.
I always wonder “what if I’m not attracted to my partner” “what if I still have feelings for other people” “what if I cheated on my partner” “what if my partner cheats on me” “what If my partner annoys me and I don’t actually want to be with him” and I’ll do this so much over and over that I get so worked up I’ll criticize him, over analyze him, feel as though I don’t like him. But then an hour later after I find relief ( from telling him, looking things up, talking to my sisters about it) I’ll be in love with him but I won’t fully feel it because I’ll just be thinking about how I just felt before and how bad it was or anticipate it again for the future. So I’m constantly ruining it for myself, and it hurts so bad because he’s so perfect for me and so kind to me and everything about our relationship is right but my mind tries to convince me of other things and it feels so real.
Can anyone share their experiences of relationship OCD & what they did to overcome it? I feel myself constantly wanting certainty & I don’t know how to gain it or be comfortable with uncertainty. I love my partner so much and I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t shake these thoughts
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