- Date posted
- 6w ago
Can someone help
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
I hear and understand this. I suffer this the same. From what I know, ROCD makes us question everything in our relationships/marriages of “do I really love them”, “are they the one”, “what if I don’t love them”, “how do I know I love them”, “what should it feel like” etc etc. I don’t know how to combat it too much except to say our thoughts are not our actions. Other inputs would be great to hear.
What is causing you to spiral? What are you trying to solve right now?
@MichelleV All day yesterday my brain convinced me that if rather have another guys attention and that if I’m out w my man is be all dressed up and tryna impress other guy and not my man. And I hate it and it feels so real like it feels like I’m evil and deceitful. Then my brain was like convincing me that i should just break up w him and figure this out but no I never wanna break up with my man. And I get so confused is this real do I rlly want other guys. But I don’t want to want other guys bc i just wanna be myself again. The one who was fully obsessed w my man. And tho Ik that i can’t help but be confused bc everything feels so real😓I hate this. And I feel like i should know that like if I’m so upset by this it isn’t true, but then my brain convinces me that’s not true. It’s gotten to the point where I’m so good for like a day or two and then other days I’m so terrible and I feel like I’m an aweful gf. I don’t want this but my brain says I do and that i’m confused but i just wanna be happy and the me who was obsessed w my man was happiest😓I’m so lost and i hate it. One day i’m ok the next i feel like I’m a terrible person. Plus my man is my best friend and i wanna marry him, so how can everything else be true? Yk?😓i hate myself
@Anonymous Like It’s so upsetting bc even rn i refrigered it out qnd was like NO HES my best friend qnd i wouldn’t just give him up for the new/ “excitingness” or q new guy😓like no that’s make me so upset. Then i got a little better and my brain was like “but when ur with him ur gonna feel like a liar when u say you love him bc you’ve been you picturing urself in these situation happy😓 but i never wanna be in those bc it’ll make me sad😓and i feel like i lie to him and myself when i try and fix this but ik he’s the one like wuts wrong w me😓the huge pit in my stomach is so bad too.😓
Then now my brains like “you not even worthy of him bc you don’t even know if u rlly want him or other pls attention😓but i just wanna be me again the one who’s sure. And like I’m tryna re place everything else w images of my man and i and like me watching him at the musical and stuff but then my minds like “your not worthy of him you can’t admire him if you were this lost and confused”😓i hate myself for this i’m so lost but i just wanna go back to where i was only focused on him and no one else😓i don’t want to want others 😓
And When I Say that it feels like a lie now but I Just wqnna be me again
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
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