- Date posted
- 4w ago
Can someone help
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
I hear and understand this. I suffer this the same. From what I know, ROCD makes us question everything in our relationships/marriages of “do I really love them”, “are they the one”, “what if I don’t love them”, “how do I know I love them”, “what should it feel like” etc etc. I don’t know how to combat it too much except to say our thoughts are not our actions. Other inputs would be great to hear.
What is causing you to spiral? What are you trying to solve right now?
@MichelleV All day yesterday my brain convinced me that if rather have another guys attention and that if I’m out w my man is be all dressed up and tryna impress other guy and not my man. And I hate it and it feels so real like it feels like I’m evil and deceitful. Then my brain was like convincing me that i should just break up w him and figure this out but no I never wanna break up with my man. And I get so confused is this real do I rlly want other guys. But I don’t want to want other guys bc i just wanna be myself again. The one who was fully obsessed w my man. And tho Ik that i can’t help but be confused bc everything feels so real😓I hate this. And I feel like i should know that like if I’m so upset by this it isn’t true, but then my brain convinces me that’s not true. It’s gotten to the point where I’m so good for like a day or two and then other days I’m so terrible and I feel like I’m an aweful gf. I don’t want this but my brain says I do and that i’m confused but i just wanna be happy and the me who was obsessed w my man was happiest😓I’m so lost and i hate it. One day i’m ok the next i feel like I’m a terrible person. Plus my man is my best friend and i wanna marry him, so how can everything else be true? Yk?😓i hate myself
@Anonymous Like It’s so upsetting bc even rn i refrigered it out qnd was like NO HES my best friend qnd i wouldn’t just give him up for the new/ “excitingness” or q new guy😓like no that’s make me so upset. Then i got a little better and my brain was like “but when ur with him ur gonna feel like a liar when u say you love him bc you’ve been you picturing urself in these situation happy😓 but i never wanna be in those bc it’ll make me sad😓and i feel like i lie to him and myself when i try and fix this but ik he’s the one like wuts wrong w me😓the huge pit in my stomach is so bad too.😓
Then now my brains like “you not even worthy of him bc you don’t even know if u rlly want him or other pls attention😓but i just wanna be me again the one who’s sure. And like I’m tryna re place everything else w images of my man and i and like me watching him at the musical and stuff but then my minds like “your not worthy of him you can’t admire him if you were this lost and confused”😓i hate myself for this i’m so lost but i just wanna go back to where i was only focused on him and no one else😓i don’t want to want others 😓
And When I Say that it feels like a lie now but I Just wqnna be me again
can someone with this theme help me i’m so scared and i can’t stop having panic attacks is this OCD??? So i always have struggled most with sucicidal ocd and harm ocd. i never really had any other themes. but recently ive struggled with SOOCD. My whole life i have never EVER been into girls ever and i could never even think of ever being with a girl in my entire life. i’m having extreme amounts of anxiety and i have compulsions to make sure i look at a girl and don’t feel anything towards them or anything. My mind is literally going “what if your just in denial” or “what if you’ve just been hiding it all these years” When i know i haven’t. i have all of the symptoms of SOOCD and i still know that im not gay,but these thoughts are extremely distressing and have been the worse to deal with. I’m constantly panicking and doing compulsions to get these thoughts to leave and they won’t. i’m scared and these thoughts are making my mind scared. What if i’m going against my morals and i’m lying to myself like and i just went through a tough breakup too so that is shooting these thoughts and anxiety. Please help omg!!!
im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
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