Post partum ocd

@LetLOVEin Thank you for replying! I have a 9 year old as well and I did suffer from anxiety after her birth but it’s nothing like this. Do your harm themes show as outside things hurting your kids or you doing it? Mine are always me doing it and that’s why it’s devastating to me. I feel like a monster that my brain can even think these thoughts. I would never ever want to harm my kids my brain is always like “well what if you do?”

@Anonymous My kids are 4 and 5. My harm thoughts are always me doing it. I feel the exact same as you do. I can’t accept the fact that I’m even having these thoughts about my children which is why I’m still struggling with it. 🤦‍♀️

@LetLOVEin It’s hard enough being a mom without dealing with this stuff on top of it all 🥺 how do you manage to cope? I was doing really well but I’m getting my period so I think that’s what is messing with me

@Anonymous I agree. Mine just suddenly came on after being triggered by several news articles and a TON of stress. I’m honestly just trying to tackle it head on. I have horrible days like today and then others are better. I’ve also made some really good friends on this app that I talk to all the time.

@LetLOVEin Mine is also triggered by news articles and stress. It also really affects me that I went to school with a girl who ended up taking the life of her child. That’s always in the back of my head and I think “what if i do something horrible like that?” Even though I know I would never! I wish I had friends talk to that understand this. I don’t have anyone

@Anonymous I completely understand! I’m in the same boat with you right now. I’m happy to text you if you would like. I’m usually always here to talk. I dealt with it alone for a while and it almost ended in me being admitted.

@LetLOVEin Thank you, I appreciate that! Do you ever feel scared to be alone with your kids?

@emmemmess Yes, I actually took them to my dad’s house for like 3 weeks. I didn’t drive alone with them for a month until I was forced to.

@LetLOVEin I’m sorry you had to go to those lengths because you felt that way ): we are both stronger then we know and stronger then we give ourselves credit for! Even when we feel like our world is caving in on us

@LetLOVEin Heyy I’m having a really hard few days with my anxiety/ocd. Are you available to talk? 😕

@emmemmess Of course!

@LetLOVEin My anxiety is just awful. It keeps waking me up every morning around 4am and I can’t fall back asleep. I feel shakey, nauseous, sweaty, and my chest will be burning. These feelings have lasted through out the entire day since Sunday 😫 I feel like I’m losing it. I felt this before a few months ago but it went away and I’m scared that it’s back again. Makes all the OCD symptoms worse as well. I keep having thoughts like “it wasn’t a good idea for me to have another baby” and I feel like a piece of crap for feeling that way because she didn’t ask to be here. I’m just in a really bad place mentally

@emmemmess Oh my goodness! Listen we are going through the exact same thing! This is all just OCD trying to convince you of things that are not true. If the only thing you do during the day is survive that is okay. You’re not losing it, you are just handling so much right now and motherhood is a job in itself. Do you have snap chat or anything? I sometimes don’t get notifications from the app.

@LetLOVEin Yes I do, it’s megannnscalaaa

@emmemmess Okay. I added you!

@Shi47 Thank you so much for your reply. I will definitely look up that blog! I know I’m not supposed to “seek reassurance” but I am the kind of person who NEEDS to relate to others so I don’t feel alienated by this. No one in my personal life can relate to me and it makes me feel crazy

@emmemmess Exactly - same here! I totally agree and know that reassurance seeking makes OCD worse but I think there is a grey area where you do need a bit of reassurance - or at least some knowledge about what’s going on to be able to start the process of facing your fears, otherwise it’s just too much - particularly if your theme involves those nearest and dearest to you who you just feel you can’t risk by facing your fears. The blogs on the NOCD website are also amazing. OCD stories is a podcast and there are a few post partum ocd stories on there too. Therapy is really needed and will help a lot. Also speak to your doctor. You’re at a time in life where you need support - having a young baby is tough enough without ocd. It’s massively scary to disclose these thoughts to health professionals (particularly with post partum ocd) but a number of ocd charities have scripts that you can use (also Taming Olivia has a blog on how to tell your dr and others in your life). You’re absolutely not alone in this, I promise. It’s hideous and unfair and horrid but it is recoverable from, you do have a wonderful future with your child and actually I’ve found that having had ocd has made me respond to my kids’ anxieties in perhaps a better way than I would have done if I hadn’t had ocd. Take care of yourself and show compassion to the human that is suffering.

@OCDFamily Thank you so much! I am currently in therapy through NOCD and it has helped tremendously. My therapist is absolutely wonderful

@emmemmess You are modeling bravery and courage for your children!

@Iloverowdy12 I’m so sorry to hear about your loss mama😔 ❤️ our hormones can do crazy things to us. I do take sertraline and buspirone. Been on them for about 7ish weeks and I do notice a huge difference. Today was just really hard for some reason. I hope all is well with you now!

@emmemmess Yes all well now took awhile to get here but I did it! Now we wanna try again just a little traumatized now with that experience 😓

Oh so sorry