- Date posted
- 1y
Hello
Are there any demisexuals on here that struggle with SO-OCD (I'm a straight woman, or so I think I am). It's a struggle to know what's OCD and what isn't
Are there any demisexuals on here that struggle with SO-OCD (I'm a straight woman, or so I think I am). It's a struggle to know what's OCD and what isn't
Hi! Im not demisexual but iam greysexual and gay woman. I struggle with so-ocd with thinking that iam reallt straight and not really gay. (So the opposite of you funny enoughš) i struggle with the same things.
I get it! Similar to above, gay and essentially demisexual with SO-OCD, in my case the fear of being straight or bisexual.
Me šāāļø. At least I have never been boy crazy, I have always developed feelings for men after getting to know the me (my husband included). It totally fed my SO-OCD because I went deep into questioning whether I forced myself to like men. Of course prior to this, I never questioned my attraction and just assumed as an intellectual and accomplished woman, I just wanted those same qualities in a partner. Hope that helps!
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
I wouldnāt really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go āwhat if I like her but as a man?ā like my thoughts say Iām a straight man instead of a straight woman. And itās really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say āno no no no noā multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but itās hard to not do it because itās so triggering. Now I donāt mind if I like women, however Iām really scared that Iām actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I donāt want to be a man. Like Iāll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I donāt want to be a man at all and I donāt want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but Iām still so scared. Iāll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so itās definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? š„²
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that Iām struggling with right now. Iāve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones Iāve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. Thatās probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because Iāve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Donāt worry I didnāt ādiscoverā this through ocd, Iāve always known and itās been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is āwhat if you are actually a lesbian and donāt know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him onā The thing is, I donāt have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didnāt feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. Iāve always seeked men more actively than women and didnāt feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that Iām in this beautiful relationship Iām terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that Iām actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. Iām not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so Iād be so grateful to know Iām not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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