real event ocd but it feels not normal

I don't feel like my real event ocd is actually normal. people don't just make mistakes or do stuff like that as a child. and I feel guilty and shameful because it's awful. how is that ocd and not just terrible and criminal. and the fact that I can't remember if I actually did something just as bad or something similar when I got older is insane. like why would I have done it again if I'm not a bad person? it feels like i might actually remember it and there's no way of knowing. it's gross and disgusting and criminal!!! how would I ever tell a therapist about those actions and expect them to not be weired out, concerned, and inclined to tell me same things that I'm thinking which is that I shouldn't be alive or I belong locked up for what I did. having ocd doesn't excuse my past mistakes, child or not. especially when I'm unsure if something happened again when I was an older teen and would have known better. and how do I live on and the people in my life don't know these mistakes. they wouldn't want to know me if they knew what I did so am I lying to them by omitting the awful things about myself??

Username: rosepetaltearsrosepetaltears

Date posted: 16w ago

I’ve heard a lot of people do these things again, and honestly you’re not a bad person. Don’t think black and white and have this mindset. They won’t lock you up and honestly, I think it’s best if you do talk to someone about it. Bottling up all this regret and this fear and what ifs isn’t healthy and sometimes we DO need someone to talk to. Reassurance makes it worse, trust me I know. You do deserve to live and your therapist won’t judge you. Every child is unique and some do concerning stuff. Based on what you said, I’m not gonna say “you were just a child” because that won’t help but I’ll put the facts. There is explanation to concerning behavior for children and even teens! Like: bad influence, being exposed to explicit stuff as child, hearing things said to you and repeating the said/seen behavior, and just not seeing it as harmful or bad! And in most cases, the lack of education of this topic since it’s seen as “shameful” kids don’t know it’s bad, so if you don’t know, you won’t know! And you’re saying that when you were a teen you did know, and that’s ok! There is other explanations of behavior like this in teens. And in teen years, it’s really going thru all that stuff and sm sexual jokes and sm sexual stuff is being talked to around us and being just in the environment we’re in. You DESERVE to move on. You DESERVE happiness and you DESERVE to live. We won’t know every little detail in our life, and that’s okay. Focus on the present. I know it’s hard, and I know you’ll feel weird being calm, but recover takes a while. If you mess up, get back up. You can do it.

Username: rosepetaltearsrosepetaltears

Date posted: 16w ago

@rosepetaltears Someone will love you, you won’t be alone, someone will always be there.

Username: rosepetaltearsrosepetaltears

Date posted: 16w ago

@rosepetaltears And I really should start thinking the same. And I know OCD will not allow you to think this way and say “this doesn’t apply to me, my situation is to unique” trust me, there is someone out there with a similar situation. You are NOT a bad person and if you do a “bad” or a bad thing, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Many people have different definitions of a bad person. Mine is “someone who doesn’t want to change and won’t change there bad ways and doesn’t feel shame nor regret for past or present mistakes.” But a good person to me is who changes their negative mindset and changes their wrong doings. We can’t change the past, but we can do better in the future .

Username: Flowerchild39Flowerchild39

Date posted: 12w ago

@rosepetaltears I’ve been dealing with real events ocd recently and your feedback was very helpful to me thank you, I really needed to hear this

Username: rosepetaltearsrosepetaltears

Date posted: 12w ago

@Flowerchild39 🩷🩷

Username: Agent KAgent K

Date posted: 10w ago

@rosepetaltears I know this is just ocd making me type this, but your response to the post really helped me. Because I'm in a similar state. Does it apply to me aswell? Because I kinda feel like the exception too.

Username: rosepetaltearsrosepetaltears

Date posted: 10w ago

@Agent K ofc it does!

Username: fuzzy_caterpillarfuzzy_caterp...

Date posted: 16w ago

well for one, you are absolutely not alone. this subject is simply not talked about enough. real event ocd can be anything from something you perceived you maybe did, or something you know that you actually did that was wrong. real event can center around anything, no matter how bad it may seem. I recommend you search up @peacewithocd on instagram, they have some great posts on real event ocd that have really helped me. the only thing you can do moving foward is accept it and that it was wrong, move on and not repeat it. you cannot change the past, but you can make good decisions for the future. I wish the best for you

Username: stxrmadsstxrmads

Date posted: 12w ago

thank you so much

Username: chamomilegirl

Date posted: 4y ago

I have Real event ocd about things I did as a kid at 12/13. It’s killing me because it really happened but I feel like a different person now completely. my actions disgust me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to be alive. I constantly have flashbacks about the events and it sends me into a state of panic, I feel as if my younger self has traumatized my older self. i’m so scared that things I did make this true, i really am a bad person, even though i’m an adult now and would never never ever do that again. I’m so scared. All I want is to be a good person but I keep remembering gross things I did and now I feel like the biggest fraud to friends and family and everything good in my life.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Ocdislame

Date posted: 2y ago

Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.

Username: SL1K

Date posted: 1y ago

i cant act normal like nothings happened.

i’m only 15 i cant. i cant. i don’t even know if it’s real event ocd. it feels like massive weights on me. i cant live just acting like everything’s normal. like i haven’t made mistakes. if people knew the mistakes i’ve made because i didn’t know they were wrong everyone would hate me. i don’t deserve my relationship. i don’t deserve my friendships. i don’t deserve anything. i just want to cry and hold friends and my partner but i’d feel guilty because i feel like the worst person i know. i don’t know how i can just “act normal” and “leave stuff in the past” and “not confess” “move forward and focus in present “ :(

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real event ocd but it feels not normal

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