TMI i wish that i never came across lesbian porn when i was 12. i understand that the type of porn you watch doesn’t reflect your sexuality and that straight females tend to enjoy lesbian porn but god, it’s such a trigger. it obviously does not help with my hocd and i feel like it ruined my sex drive. for the most part, i can’t get wet (ahhhhh tmi im srry) unless it’s lesbian porn. i want to have sex with a guy and i get groinal responses thinking about it but my brain is telling me that i’m forcing the thought and that i am in denial.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

Omg I watched it at a young age too ??

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

omg lol was it like a universal thing to come across lesbian porn as a pre-teen ?? ??

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

@empathmind I honestly think so! Never took that part of my life into consideration until HOCD hit me like 12 years later ??

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

@NocturnalGyal saaaaaaaame...it makes me regret it so much.

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

@NocturnalGyal do you feel a decrease in sex drive towards guys too? (if you don’t mind me asking)

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

@empathmind Oh ya I do. When it first hit, my attraction was completely lost. But it's slowly returning now. I just try not to force it. But my attraction was never lost to my boyfriend so I knew OCD was playing mind games ?

Lina

Date posted: 5y

Dude I was the same age as you when I came across it as well! I wish I never did because it feels like it is proof to my "denial" of my true sexuality.

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

ahh it’s a relief that someone can relate to this.

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

if you don’t mind me asking, do you feel like you have a decreased sex drive towards guys even tho you want to be with them?

Sahe1984

Date posted: 5y

I feel the same. But I guess enjoying lesbian porn and getting aroused by it is so so normal even for heterosexual women because all these kissing and touching softly, being gentle with each other and all this tenderness is exactly what women enjoy about sex. Let's be honest: having sex with a guy can be very different from that. So I feel like it's normal to get aroused by what women do to each other in lesbian porns - we don't get aroused by the women themselves but by the things they do. Maybe this perspective helps a bit. :)

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

Wow this actually helped so much, thank you. It makes sense because I’ve been kind of scared to have sex with a guy as I have this perceived idea that it will be rough and aggressive (due to stereotypes ya know). Like I crave the sensual, soft stuff so it makes sense that I am more drawn to lesbian porn even tho I want to be with a guy. Wow thank you so much. This makes sense.

Lina

Date posted: 5y

Yes! 100% when I try to have sexual fantasies of men I want to so bad and it is like I get aroused which sucks because I know that that is what I want. That and it feels like im disgusted by them even though I really really want to be with them. Another ocd trick to keep us stuck and miserable.

anonempath

Date posted: 5y

ughh yes. it’s so frustrating. i want to be with a guy, i can’t even picture myself with a girl. but my brain is doing all it can to convince me otherwise.

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