There's something weird about my groinals, it doesnt feel like a physicall response, I mean, I do have sensations, but that's not that part that worries me, it use to be, but what worries me most now is that feeling like I'm really enjoying what's going on, like I really don't care what my dick does (I do get a tingle, it's still not thw worst part) but my face gets all red and it feels like real desire
What happens if you tell yourself that you do enjoy it? Like you just say "yeah i enjoy it. The groinal means that it does excite me and i would enjoy having sex with that person." And then you just move on. Instead of doing what your doing now which is trying to pit your groinal response against your true identity and constantly rooting on your true identity to win.
I found this technique helps a lot. Instead of fighting, agree. Takes a lot of practice and is very scary at first, but it takes the punch out of the thoughts.
Rooting what? Sorry I didnt get that
Also I don't want to have sex with that person
@Nicola$ In erp therapy for obsessive compulsives, they want you to get to a point where you just dont care anymore. You can say "yeah i might enjoy sex with that person, but ya know its not really my preference so im not really gonna worry about it." Soocd comes from the fact that heterosexual people get stimulated by watching gay porn or seeing someone naked of the same sex on tv or internet. It could even cause someone to become homophobic. Maybe even violent toward lgbtq peoples. So thats why they want to do exposure to these images and videos over and over again until the anxiety is destroyed.
@Ifiknewthen - No it cannot cause someone to be homophobic, it can cause a negative reaction towards people of the lgbtq comunity but it doesn't come from hate it's just anxiety, before this I didn't really mind gay couples, or any other for that matter, as for the gay porn, I haven't found it arousing so far, the nudity it's weird, idk why but I don't want it, and it's scary cause it feels like I always been like this, but not really? like I do remenber being anxious towards male nudity but not really aroused? don't know how to explain it, anyway, if it comes down to suffer for the rest of my life, or just sit there enjoying this thoughs, I'm ready to suffer, but it's gonna be a very short life tho
@Nicola$ The best thing to do is get with a mental health therpist (psychiatrist, psychologist, etc) whoever takes your insurance. And just open up with them. Dont look at it as a bad thing. Thats what they do. Thats why they chose that career. Not wanting to get help or not being honest with the therapist is the biggest roadblock to getting better. Im not a big fan of medications and many psychiatrists just want to medicate. So just stick with a therapist and be honest.
@Ifiknewthen - Yeah, third world country no insurance, also no that much money for the time being, maybe on the future
@Ifiknewthen - What do you mean not being honest with the terapist? You think I'm lying to look straight? I try to be as honest as possible the time I did had a terapist, told her about the arousal, the false crushes, even the silly thoughs
@Ifiknewthen - Why are you telling to be honest as if at any point I said that I would lie?
@Nicola$ Just focus on the exposure part with a trained ocd therapist. We all get sidetracked with the talk therapy which isnt the gold standard treatment for ocd. Im assuming you do have ocd because you are on here. The ERP is sooooo important. Its proven to work. Just takes time and committment. If you have SOOCD then you have to be exposed to gay material over and over and over again without doing compulsions to neutralize the anxiety. Youll do it until you get to the point of it not causing anxiety. I am living proof. It doesnt cause me anxiety anymore. Same as any type of ocd.
@Ifiknewthen Yeah sure, just tell me why you told me to tell the truth, did you though I would lie to the terapist just to pass as straight?
@Nicola$ No. I wasnt honest with my ocd therapist when i first saw him so it screwed up my treatment. So i always say that to people. To always honest. I lied. For some of us ocd people its very hard to talk about our obsessions and compulsions.
@Ifiknewthen Oh I understand, I was kind of a shame, but I just wasnt able to lie, actually it would torture for me, not cause I'm an honest person, but because my brain would use that as proff of me being gay so I just try to say anything as bluntly as possible
@Nicola$ Yeah SOOCD hit me totally out of the blue because of gay porn but i didnt want to talk about it. And its funny because the therapist actually had that as a question in his list of questions he had to ask his patients. But i wasnt feeling any anxiety cause i was back on my antidepressant for a while. So i just said no to his question of "does gay pornography cause you anxiety?" And i got nowhere in treatment.
@Ifiknewthen Man the porn thing seems so common I wish I was like that too
@Nicola$ Yeah it does seem to be a very common cause of soocd. Just because yours isnt doesnt mean its not soocd. Every ocd case is unique in my opinion. Im sure theres lots of causes of it. Idk your whole story.
@Ifiknewthen It's long and started at 13 so the chances of just being self discovery are very high, I'm a little bit tired at the moment so I won't be explaning
@Nicola$ Ok no problem.
@Ifiknewthen - What I will say tho, is that regardless of the countless feelings I had now, it did all started with a what if questions, was just walking to store to get some shit, and I was remenbering an episode of glee center around discrimination towards gay people, and the I was like "What would my parents think if I was gay" and the rest that came after is history
@Nicola$ Have you been seeing a therapist? If so, what do they say? I dont know you so i cant say cant draw any conclusions.
@Ifiknewthen Yeah I got diagnose, but I always feel like I lied at some point to get the diagnosis Idk, I couldnt continue seing the terapist due to money issues
@Nicola$ Like I didnt lie, but maybe I sugarcoat it to much, or like I wasnt bluntly enough, at least not at the beggining eventually Inspill everything, but maybe they would have never diagnosed me if I said it all from the beggining
Does anyone else when they have the thoughts, they feel against it, but they still get arousal or tenglings sensations in the groinal area? Because this is what I experienced today and I feel like crap. This is going to be very triggering for a lot of you, but there are a lot of times that I notice things from kids. For example, there is a thirteen year old kid who looks very developed for her age, and I take notice of (and this already sounds creepy to me) her chest. Today with my thoughts, I imagined as if I were touching it, and although I usually "no no or "I don't want to do that", she is a kid, etc., I still get responses in my groinal area, and It felt very real. Even now, I feel as though I am faking it, even though I groan 😮💨 from it, and feel as though I am a fraud. Does anyone relate?
Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self
hi does anyone ever get a random grounal response then feel aroused but you don’t want to be like before i had the thought i was feeling a little aroused then i had a random thought and it had the ground response and i felt aroused i don’t understand.
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