PLS READ - HOCD/SOCD or Denial?

Hi, I’m 16, and in a relationship with a girl, who I love so much and wanted to be with her for several months. But as of recently, I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts about being gay.I know that I’m not, I’ve always been attracted to girls and never have I even thought about being gay. But these intrusive thoughts are telling me I’m lying to myself and that I am denial and are actually gay. I’m at the point now where I don’t even know if this is HOCD. I’ve always seemed OCD since I was young as I would be fixated on certain things like how clothes looked, I also used to wash my hands until they cracked. In recent months I was fixated on moles and the fear of skin cancer due to my mum having stage 4 cancer herself. But as this has gone, these intrusive thoughts about sexuality have came about. Can someone please help me

Have Faith

Date posted: 1y

Here are a few things to consider: Intrusive Thoughts and OCD: Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and often distressing thoughts that can pop into your mind and make you question things about yourself, even if they aren't true. These thoughts can be persistent and feel very real, leading to anxiety and self-doubt. With OCD, these thoughts can become overwhelming and difficult to shake off. The fact that you've had other OCD-like symptoms, such as washing your hands until they cracked and fixating on moles, suggests that your mind may have a tendency to latch onto certain fears or doubts, even when they don't align with your true feelings or reality. OCD often thrives on doubt, making you question things you normally wouldn't. It can also lead to reassurance-seeking behavior, where you try to find proof or certainty to relieve the anxiety. However, this usually only provides temporary relief, and the doubts may come back stronger. It's important to recognize that these thoughts are not reflective of who you are. One approach is to try to accept that the thoughts are there without engaging with them or trying to prove them wrong. This can be difficult, but it helps to break the cycle of anxiety. Given the impact these thoughts are having on you, it might be helpful to speak with a mental health professional, such as a therapist who specializes in OCD. They can provide strategies to manage these thoughts and help you find some relief. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there is help available. It takes courage to reach out and talk about what you're going through, and that’s an important step in finding the support you need.

TheGame

Date posted: 1y

@Have Faith Thank you. When I think of being in a homosexual relationship or situation, I don’t like it. But I do with women, I want to have a wife and kids etc. but I question if I’m lying to myself and I’m just in denial. I just want these thoughts to go, I’ll do whatever it takes.

Have Faith

Date posted: 1y

@TheGame - Remember that no one can make YOU do anything that you don't want to. You are not your unwanted darkest thoughts. When you actively approach this with a sense of compassion for yourself, Jesus understands. Remember that Jesus came for sinners not the perfect. You and I fit right into that description. Be kind to yourself because Jesus would.

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 22w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

user74128588493

Date posted: 13w

hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 10w

hocd

I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(

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PLS READ - HOCD/SOCD or Denial?

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