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Even if you don’t trust yourself right now, trust your therapist 💜

Sorry I haven’t been around. I’m past the point of being concerned about being a “p” and more concerned with past mistakes right now. Eventually, it gets to the point where you realize that if you continue to worry this much about the future, you’ll go insane. I think when I was deep into my own brain’s delusion, I was very close to going into psychosis. No, in fact, I believe there was a few weeks time where I was pretty much in my own form of psychosis. It wasn’t until my psychiatrist was like; “if I thought about the things you do, I’d go insane” when it hit me. Granted, I had a suicide attempt a few months after and as crazy as it sounds, the suicide attempt only further made me realize that I was willing to take my own life before even thinking about hurting anyone else or acting on these intrusive thoughts.

What I’m saying is, the hardest part is letting go because “if you let go, it means you don’t care right and therefore it’s more likely to happen?” WRONG. Trust yourself more. That, my friend, is the hardest part: letting go of the fear and trusting yourself.