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Bowbow

Date posted: 50w

I just wanna say that I’ve been here I’ve been in this boat. That’s why the first time I got diagnosed with OCD. I didn’t believe it went to see more help and actually went into an inpatient because of my OCD and they still think it’s a OCD so I just want to say that you’re not alone, and the fact that you feel disgusted in yourself mean something and the fact that you’re scared means something I think the best thing that you can do for yourself is to take it one step at a time one day at a time I know that’s not easy but unfortunately, we can’t control past thoughts, and unfortunately, we can’t control the future but we can control the present so I think the best thing that you can do is be extremely patient with yourself but also still mindful and I would try not to go to conclusions with every single thought because I found myself coming to conclusions every single time, and trying to figure out every single thought but that’s the thing with OCD you doubt everything and I think the best thing that you could do is to stop doubting and just kind of allowing to pass and allowing the feeling to pass. and I found myself needing constant reassurance of who I am and who I used to be but unfortunately no one else is in your head and no one else can tell you hundred percent that they know what’s going on with you so unfortunately sitting with uncertainty is one of the best things that you can do for yourself and I know that’s extremely hard because I find it hard to do it every day for myself, but the best thing I’ve learned is to stick in the present one day you might look back and have no idea who u were then. I just want to say that you’re not alone and OCD is a very tricky thing. A lot of these thoughts disguise themselves as normal. I was told by my therapist so sometimes it could also come with feelings and other times you have to remember that when those type of thoughts happen your brain takes time to process it so maybe you did not fully process the thought before any type of enjoyment occurred you never know, but I would just try to be very mindful of that

Speckles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

I think OCD can trick you into thinking you want to do it when actually it's totally opposite of that.

Speckles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

@Eileen03 You weren't trying to push it out of your head? Did you feel anxious about it? Is this the first time you've felt this way with this theme?

Speckles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

@Eileen03 I still believe it's all the OCD. It really messes with your brain. Did you tell a therapist? I've felt physically weak and like I'm going to faint from it. I get this feeling now and again so I think it's messing with my physically now.

Speckles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

My therapist said not to try and push it out. Go along with the thought and say this makes me uncomfortable, but I can handle it. Other times I'd fight with it, so maybe that's what you are doing... giving into it

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 33w

I’m dealing with this issue as well it’s terrifying n scary except this might be a little bit TMI this happens to me whenever I’m trying to have my alone time like if it has anything to do with self pleasure. I literally have to tell myself before I had to know that I’m in control that I’m not gonna act on any intrusive thoughts but in the moment kinda like what you said it genuinely feels like that I enjoy my intrusive thought and it feels like I acted on in the moment or like I’m pleasuring myself because of the thought it’s so freaking scary and then I immediately start to panic. I start losing my mind because it felt so genuine like how you’re explaining it.

lu22

Date posted: 25w

Suffering a lot, need advice, have no therapy 🙁🙁

I feel like this time I can’t pick myself back up. It felt too real like I don’t even belive it wasn’t real I fully feel like it was my own feeling and I genuinely felt that. I had stabbing intrusive thoughts, I imaginined it on purpose to test my reaction and then it felt like I know how it feels to physically do that action (stab someone) and I like how it feels then I was getting these urge feelings and it felt like I wanted it and then I was imagining the thoughts again about stabbing someoneI care about multiple times and then It suddenly felt like I was really happy about the thought and almost like I really enjoyed it and realised why evil people enjoy doing these things like I felt what they felt like I’ve discovered a ‘thrill’ feeling of doing that evil thing and I can’t get over it I can’t figure out why it felt like that and now I’m thinking because it felt like I liked it and it felt good I will be curious about being evil or want to be evil to feel that feeling again and it’s really messed up and I don’t know what to do everytime I think about it it feels like there is actually something wrong with me I no longer have anxiety or feel really worried about the thoughts I feel numb and that feeling is really making me feel bad like I can’t live normally now it feels like I am actually evil now and I don’t even know if I have morals or if i would be evil or not. Normally with my thoughts no matter how real it’s felt I’ve managed to convince myself why I had a certain feeling and why it’s not real and why I’m a good person but this time it actually feels like that feeling was from me and I actually felt really happy and enjoyed or got a thrill from the idea of doing that horrible thing like I can’t even say it feels real because I’m thinking it is real I don’t know what to do 🙁🙁I’ve had ocd for a few years but don’t get anxious anymore and this feels like I’m actually bad or would want to do it because of that feeling

grellen2000

Date posted: 23w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 20w

I’m freaking out please help

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.

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