ROCD

So the last couple of weeks I was in a super bad ROCD spiral, I was constantly looking things up and doing all the normal compulsions. Now I'm doing better, but I'm starting to wonder if that even was ROCD because I'm just thinking that maybe we're just not a great fit, but I want to be with him forever so bad. Does anyone else experience this?

My trauma has always prevented me from pursuing a romantic relationship, I’ve always been super terrified of pursuing something with someone for just about every reason I could conjure up. Now, I’ve met someone and I’ve tried so, so hard to push away all those anxieties to make it work; but I feel like the more involved I get, I become more scared and I dwell on more things that may be signs that our “relationship” should end. I keep thinking over and over that I’m not good enough for them, I might be their “target,” they’re not right for me, our feelings are not mutual, it couldn’t work out between us, my friends and family would not approve, I’m not ready for it, etc. Recently, I tried to break things off with them because they were too tall for me. I started sobbing because I was scared that I was being and awful person and I had completely screwed everything up between us. I wanna know if this sounds like ROCD ? I always had a hunch that I could have, but I had never gotten far enough into a relationship to find out. Please feel free to ask me any clarifying questions. Right now I’m probably not making much sense haha.

i think i’m struggling with rocd but the thoughts feel so much more different than they have before. i was just wondering if the thoughts i’m going to list are also the thoughts other have had, and if so, do you have any tips to manage them? my thoughts are: “do i love my boyfriend?” “i don’t love him” “what if you don’t love him?” “i do love him” “is he the one?” “is he attractive?” “does that give you the ick?” “is this character trait of his bothersome?” “because this happened it means we aren’t compatible” “you need to break up with him” “do you want to break up with him?” “do you want to marry him?” i was just wondering because i feel so tired from trying to overcome them, that they’re just now starting to feel true. and just thoughts im gaslighting myself or that my thoughts are real and i really don’t love my boyfriend